tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9079288721837627412024-03-13T06:48:30.806-07:00LAZY EYE THEATREWandering Film TalkPIPERhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13054305230216613759noreply@blogger.comBlogger747125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-907928872183762741.post-56590977688408058232011-02-28T09:14:00.000-08:002011-02-28T09:42:01.031-08:00Here's The Problem With What Happened Last Night At The Oscars<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-XXfIOKPO3-Y/TWvdoxN64VI/AAAAAAAAEGI/UmC7zTMdEr0/s1600/Colin-Firth-and-Tom-Hoope-007.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 240px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-XXfIOKPO3-Y/TWvdoxN64VI/AAAAAAAAEGI/UmC7zTMdEr0/s400/Colin-Firth-and-Tom-Hoope-007.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5578796255904719186" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">It's good to know that the Academy doesn't learn from past mistakes.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">When Tom Hooper received the Best Director Oscar last night, I died a little inside. Fincher didn't move, but then again, he didn't really move at all last night. I wondered if he was perhaps dead in his chair and someone had painted eyes on his eyelids. Maybe he was thinking that this was all crap and it didn't matter. Maybe he saw the hype train go down the tracks for <i>The King's Speech</i> and knew what was already going to happen. I heard all the talk. I heard the rallying cries behind <i>The King's Speech</i>, but still I fought. You're crazy, I thought. How could you not award Fincher for <i>The Social Network</i>? Everything in that picture was perfect. If you truly look at a Director being at the helm of the entire creative process, then Fincher was the guy. The acting, editing, writing, cinematography and music were all perfect. Nothing more outstanding than the rest. Just a perfect balance. I thought it was a no-brainer that he would win the award. But then everyone began to talk. <i>King's Speech</i> this and <i>King's Speech</i> that. Yes it's a good movie. Yes the performances were great. But it was familiar. It was easy. I can confidently say I have never seen a movie like <i>The Social Network</i>. I have seen several movies like <i>The King's Speec</i>h. So I began to resign myself to the inevitable and I said to myself and anyone who would listen - if <i>The King's Speech</i> gets best picture, I'm fine with that. Just don't screw Fincher. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">So when they announced Tom Hooper all I could think was "here we go again." It's Scorsese all over again. In a few years from now <i>The King's Speech</i> will fade from memory as just another good period piece. <i>The Social Network, </i>on the other hand will continue to thrive as a film that defined our time. And there will be regret. "Huh, maybe Fincher should have gotten the Oscar" people will say. And then Fincher will go on to make good film after good film and about 10 years from now Fincher will win best director for a lesser film. One that was good, but not deserving. And I'll root for him. And probably blog for him, as I did for Scorsese.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">It won't be right. But I'll do it. Because this is the way the Academy works. And Fincher deserves it. </div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Lazy Eye Theatre - Wandering Film Talk</div>PIPERhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13054305230216613759noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-907928872183762741.post-34304554078271404072010-12-22T19:48:00.001-08:002010-12-22T20:23:03.221-08:00Time Changes A Man<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/TRLOariFs5I/AAAAAAAAEFo/YLuiEoSgth8/s1600/129756_trailer-true-grit.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/TRLOariFs5I/AAAAAAAAEFo/YLuiEoSgth8/s400/129756_trailer-true-grit.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5553728248258868114" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">I have changed over the years. My hair has grayed a bit. My stomach has grown softer. My desire for hot sauce - stronger. My eyesight has weakened. I'd like to say I'm smarter, but maybe not. One thing is for sure: I once hated Westerns. Hated them. Couldn't and wouldn't watch them. The closest I ever came was <span style="font-style: italic;">Silverado</span> and shoot, that ain't no Western lessen you city folk. You would think that this wouldn't be true. John Carpenter is among my favorite directors and every inspiration he had was born from a Howard Hawks' Western.<br /><br />But, like I said, times change. And people change. And slowly I have come to love Westerns. It started with <span style="font-style: italic;">Unforgiven</span>. And then expanded to the Leone Westerns. A week ago, I saw the original <span style="font-style: italic;">True Grit</span> for the first time. And tonight I saw the remake. I have steered clear of a lot of Westerns because they involved John Wayne and I am not a fan. I've never really enjoyed what I have seen of him. He is the same character over and over again. And not a good one at that.<br /><br />My impression of the original <span style="font-style: italic;">True Grit</span> was that I loved the story. Kim Darby was excellent, Glen Campbell was terrible and John Wayne was John Wayne. The dialogue was good, but the delivery poor. It was like a stage performance. People didn't react to eachother as much as they waited to deliver their lines. But that was then, this is now. The remake is fantastic. This movie is very much a Coen movie - ripe with rich characters and witty dialogue. The story was made for them and you feel that they've been working their entire careers for such an opportunity. There were a few instances where I missed the original. And even missed John Wayne. As good as Jeff Bridges was as Cogburn, I felt he threw away the line "fill your hands you son of a bitch" and that is not a line you want to throw away.<br /><br />So what gives? Has my steely reserve weakened or can taste in movies mature and change? I've known time to put movies to rest, but not to resurrect entire genres? I feel I have evolved. And now an entire pool of movies rests at my feet, waiting for me to jump in. Please feel free to guide me to your favorite Westerns in the comments.<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Lazy Eye Theatre - Wandering Film Talk</div>PIPERhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13054305230216613759noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-907928872183762741.post-71200861289200226732010-11-27T19:20:00.000-08:002010-11-29T06:09:23.483-08:00How A Movie Like The Smurfs Ever Gets Made - DAY 1<object height="390" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://www.xtranormal.com/site_media/players/jwplayer.swf"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><param name="flashvars" value="height=390&width=480&file=http://newvideos.xtranormal.com/web_final_lo/fc699796-fa9e-11df-a6f5-003048d69c21_3.mp4&image=http://newvideos.xtranormal.com/web_final_lo/fc699796-fa9e-11df-a6f5-003048d69c21_3.jpg&link=http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/7846651&searchbar=false&autostart=false"><embed src="http://www.xtranormal.com/site_media/players/jwplayer.swf" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" flashvars="height=390&width=480&file=http://newvideos.xtranormal.com/web_final_lo/fc699796-fa9e-11df-a6f5-003048d69c21_3.mp4&image=http://newvideos.xtranormal.com/web_final_lo/fc699796-fa9e-11df-a6f5-003048d69c21_3.jpg&link=http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/7846651&searchbar=false&autostart=false" height="390" width="480"></embed></object><div class="blogger-post-footer">Lazy Eye Theatre - Wandering Film Talk</div>PIPERhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13054305230216613759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-907928872183762741.post-70725377400084242532010-11-11T12:05:00.000-08:002010-11-11T12:38:52.635-08:00An Open Letter To HBO<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/TNxUJrHwJ5I/AAAAAAAAEFE/VNHDFtTXvu0/s1600/yonkers-1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 295px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/TNxUJrHwJ5I/AAAAAAAAEFE/VNHDFtTXvu0/s400/yonkers-1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5538394166929663890" border="0" /></a><br />To Whom It May Concern At HBO<br /><br />My name is Piper. You may know me from such posts as <a style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);" href="http://lazyeyetheatre.blogspot.com/2007/04/my-comedy-penis.html">My Comedy Penis</a>, <a style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);" href="http://lazyeyetheatre.blogspot.com/2008/07/i-am-pathetic.html">I Am Pathetic</a>, and <a style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);" href="http://lazyeyetheatre.blogspot.com/2010/03/my-marriage-proposal-to-newly-ms.html">My Marriage Proposal To the Newly Single Kate <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Winslet</span></a> among others. But enough about me. I'm here to talk about you. Actually to pitch you an idea. An amazing idea. An idea in which I will take no credit for. An idea that once you hear it, you can run with it, make millions and no one will be the better for it, as long as you send me small checks in the mail. Ready? Here it is.<br /><br />You know the book World War Z, right? Yeah, yeah, I know that it's "supposedly" in production for a 2012 release, but here me out. No feature will do this book justice. I'm not even sure a trilogy would do this book justice. This needs to be a mini-series. A <span style="font-style: italic;">Brothers In Arms</span> for zombies, if you will. Each episode can be a single story of the zombie wars. A different story each week. With love growing each day for the undead, this idea is a winner. And <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">AMC's</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">The Walking Dead</span> is proving that it can work.<br /><br />So like I said, just a wink and nudge and go make this happen. I won't tell anybody and you big head types can take all the credit.<br /><br />You're welcome.<div class="blogger-post-footer">Lazy Eye Theatre - Wandering Film Talk</div>PIPERhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13054305230216613759noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-907928872183762741.post-24852417040259727182010-11-08T14:40:00.000-08:002010-11-08T20:04:52.157-08:00That's Not Noise, That's Music<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/TNjIHdtRtOI/AAAAAAAAEE0/1I6R7E8AKMI/s1600/the-social-network-movie.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 252px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/TNjIHdtRtOI/AAAAAAAAEE0/1I6R7E8AKMI/s400/the-social-network-movie.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5537395772411196642" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">About half-way through <span style="font-style: italic;">The Social Network</span>, my father leaned forward, turned his head towards me and said in a voice that did not suggest he was in a crowded theater "what is that noise that keeps playing behind all the talking?" My response, "it's called a soundtrack."<br /><br />One of the things that makes <span style="font-style: italic;">The Social Network</span> worth seeing again and again (I have now seen it three times) is the way that it perfectly melds all the crucial elements of filmmaking. The direction, the acting, the storytelling, the writing and yes, the soundtrack. The fact that my father called out the soundtrack means that the soundtrack was worth noticing. And how could it not be noticed, it was created by Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross. Each song, a menace. Each chord a dark fuzz that scratches the eardrums. Reznor creates the twisted darkness that Danny Elfman only wishes he could.<br /><br />But what makes the soundtrack work is not just the soundtrack itself, but how it is used. It's practically a character in the movie. Setting tone, creating emotion and most importantly, moving things along. Songs like A Familiar Taste and It Catches Up With You perfectly capture the darkness of what is unfolding, but do it in such a way as to still suggest progress. It's brooding and uplifting at the same time. And Reznor and Ross' take on In The Hall of the Mountain King, along with Fincher's coverage of the crew race is really something to behold.<br /><br />I have purchased the soundtrack and I randomly listen to it in the car. Each piece of music brings me back to the film. To each scene. The run across campus. The slo-motion shots of the Phoenix party. The music is literally intertwined with the film. Just as strong as the writing, the acting and the direction. It may be noise to my old man, but it's a pretty damn good soundtrack to me.</div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Lazy Eye Theatre - Wandering Film Talk</div>PIPERhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13054305230216613759noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-907928872183762741.post-50139809204850897112010-10-26T15:05:00.000-07:002010-11-01T19:22:58.351-07:00Everything I Know In Life, I Learned From The MoviesInstallment #1: How To Have The Best Breakfast Of Your Life.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/TMdW4WYe7II/AAAAAAAAEEs/1WoE92ywzA8/s1600/breakfast.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 300px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/TMdW4WYe7II/AAAAAAAAEEs/1WoE92ywzA8/s400/breakfast.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5532486193328876674" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">In order to have the best breakfast of your life, here's what you have to do: First, go find a really shitty job. One that you have no interest in doing or sticking with, but you end up doing it and sticking with it because it's easy and it's a paycheck. Then let's say one day while you're in the middle of that really shitty job, a guy walks in to your the building of your shitty job with a gun. He takes you outside and holds the gun to your head and he asks you "what do you want to do with your life?" You stutter and probably pee and poo yourself a little, and you ask him to repeat himself. He asks you again, "what do you want to do with your life?" And then you tell him that you always wanted this other job, but schooling for that other job is really expensive. But then this guy tells you that you need to quit this shitty job and go to school for this much better job. In fact he says that he's coming back tomorrow and if you're still there, he'll kill you. So you run away and you run home. Then the next morning you wake up and you have the best breakfast of your life because you know you're not working in that shitty job anymore.<br /></div><br />Thanks <span style="font-style: italic;">Fight Club</span>.<div class="blogger-post-footer">Lazy Eye Theatre - Wandering Film Talk</div>PIPERhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13054305230216613759noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-907928872183762741.post-48548990446236033492010-10-18T14:17:00.001-07:002010-10-18T18:00:23.082-07:00The Comfort Of Zombies<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/TLztH20WTUI/AAAAAAAAEEk/h7NnlnIQcmY/s1600/Zombie_hottie.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 314px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/TLztH20WTUI/AAAAAAAAEEk/h7NnlnIQcmY/s400/Zombie_hottie.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5529555161734073666" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Things haven't been super rosy with Piper lately. Some shit has gone down. I won't bore you with all the specifics, but the biggest news is that my father-in-law passed away a couple of weeks ago. He battled a disease for over a year and lost to it on a recent Saturday morning. My wife is an only child so she has no siblings to draw from. It's been kind of dark around here and well, when times get dark, I like to turn to old friends. Zombies. That's right, nothing cheers my ass up like flesh eaters. Just pop in <span style="font-style: italic;">Dawn of the Dead </span>and watch the deep dark room turn from sinister gray to rosy red in seconds. Watch <span style="font-style: italic;">Survival of the Dead,</span> open the windows and let the cartoon birds perch on my shoulder and tweet "Happy Days Are Here Again." That's how it works. And if I'm not watching zombies, I'm killing them in <span style="font-style: italic;">Left 4 Dead</span> and <span style="font-style: italic;">Resident Evil 4</span>.<br /><br />Call me a sick twist if you will, but there's just something comforting about zombies. Maybe it's because they're so damn disposable. Or maybe it's because it's October, but I'm craving those crazy canibals as much as they would crave me in a dark alley with some bacon salt and a gimp. This is how bad I've got it. I even don't mind <span style="font-style: italic;">The Walking Dead </span>promos on AMC even tho I've seen them for the MILLIONTH TIME. I dreamt about zombies last night and I woke up happy. This is bad. But really, it's good. When times get dark, it's those cold zombies that keep me warm.<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Lazy Eye Theatre - Wandering Film Talk</div>PIPERhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13054305230216613759noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-907928872183762741.post-42941011126172203592010-09-06T16:44:00.001-07:002010-09-06T16:54:55.806-07:00An Important Message From Machete<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/TIV9AyIHTpI/AAAAAAAAEEU/a-l9ayOBVwc/s1600/10155875_gal.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 307px; height: 400px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/TIV9AyIHTpI/AAAAAAAAEEU/a-l9ayOBVwc/s400/10155875_gal.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5513950771194318482" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Hello. This is Machete. I have an important message for all of you out there. Especially for those of you who want to get laid. If you want to get laid, there's one thing you have to do. Kill people. But you can't just kill them by shooting them with a gun. That is too simple. You need to kill them in creative and interesting ways. Like with a <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">carburetor</span>. Or with a gardening spade. Then you will get laid. Here, let me break it down for you. You + Interesting Killing Technique = Getting Laid. That's how it works. Now if you're already good looking and you can land lots of hot women, then good for you. But if you're ugly and scarred and shit and you want to screw hot women like Jessica Alba, then kill people in really bizarre ways and then you will get laid by hot women like Jessica Alba. Thank you for your time.<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Lazy Eye Theatre - Wandering Film Talk</div>PIPERhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13054305230216613759noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-907928872183762741.post-68553729816859750752010-08-20T09:56:00.000-07:002010-08-20T10:01:40.564-07:00Watch this.<br /><br /><object height="385" width="640"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/DQF-RHJedZ8?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/DQF-RHJedZ8?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="385" width="640"></embed></object><br /><br /><br /><br />Then click <a style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CNSaurw6E_Q">here.</a><br /><br /><br /><br />Then pee yourself a little.<div class="blogger-post-footer">Lazy Eye Theatre - Wandering Film Talk</div>PIPERhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13054305230216613759noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-907928872183762741.post-42383614868408773242010-08-01T11:25:00.000-07:002010-08-01T18:46:48.464-07:00My Dinner With Schmucks<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/TFYigSTn9HI/AAAAAAAAEEM/btKP1m2K9Gs/s1600/dinner-for-schmucks-ensemble.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/TFYigSTn9HI/AAAAAAAAEEM/btKP1m2K9Gs/s400/dinner-for-schmucks-ensemble.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5500621932944946290" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Based on the marketing campaign behind <span style="font-style: italic;">Dinner For Schmucks</span>, one might guess that the movie is<br /><br />A) All about a dinner in which idiots are invited to dinner so that people may laugh at them<br /><br />B) A comedy in the vein of Meet The Parents<br /><br />C) A futuristic thriller about a family in the year 2050 who have hidden a special alien eye in the mountains of Stlumanthera in order to save the world.<br /><br />Turns out <span style="font-style: italic;">Dinner For Schmucks</span> is none of these. Oh sure, it could have been either a or b or if it were really good it could have been both, but it wasn't. I've been duped before on marketing as it relates to action and humor and performance, but not when it comes to plot. When I walked in to the theater last night, I thought I was going to see a movie about a dinner where a bunch of morons were going to try to out-idiot eachother. Instead I got treated to a real mess with a dinner during the last 20 minutes.<br /><br />I should have known it was curtains when one of the first jokes of the movie is one I saw coming 10 miles away. Tim (Paul Rudd) and his colleagues watch an executive load up his car because he has been fired. Tim comments on how he would never want his job. How anyone would be crazy to want his job. Two seconds later, Tim is telling someone how he has to have that guy's job. As Fozzy The Bear would say to signify that there was a joke that was just told and you should laugh whether you thought it was funny or not "wakka, wakka, wakka." Aren't there rules somewhere that suggest if you're going to write a comedy, especially a comedy titled <span style="font-style: italic;">Dinner For Schmucks</span>, that you might want to come out of the gate with a few good jokes?<br /><br />I have not seen the original, so this commentary is not based on it being a lesser remake. It's just a commentary on how it's not a very good movie. And damn, it could have been. Great movies have been made about great dinner parties. This would have made a nice addition. Now I say all this, but truth be told there are a couple of nice parts. The stand-off between Barry (Steve Carrell) and Therman (Zach Snuffaluffagus) at the dinner is pretty damn funny. But the most interesting dynamic is between Barry and Darla (Lucy Punch) the stalker girlfriend. The sparring that happens between those two felt like old Clouseau and Cato from the Pink Panther movies.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Dinner for Schmucks</span> seemed a natural fit for the current state of comedy. In a world where stupid comedy reigns, a movie that's literally about laughing at idiots should be be a feast. Unfortunately, it's just a promising appetizer for a dinner that never came.<br /><br /><br /><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Lazy Eye Theatre - Wandering Film Talk</div>PIPERhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13054305230216613759noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-907928872183762741.post-52119557003905292962010-07-23T14:20:00.000-07:002010-07-23T15:26:19.647-07:00A Review Within A Review Within A Review Within A Review of Inception<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/TEoWvh_1dmI/AAAAAAAAEEE/rMZstmBI6eE/s1600/inception.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 209px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/TEoWvh_1dmI/AAAAAAAAEEE/rMZstmBI6eE/s400/inception.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5497231300994889314" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">A couple of days ago I saw <span style="font-style: italic;">Inception</span> so I thought that instead of writing one review on it, I'll write several reviews within each other and possibly plant an idea in your head which you will in turn run with and unknowingly make happen all because of me. If none of this makes sense to you, then you haven't seen <span style="font-style: italic;">Inception</span> so 1) maybe this will make you want to see this movie 2) maybe this will provide a moment of entertainment for you 3) maybe this will make you think I'm an idiot. If all goes well, you will get a lot of post for your buck. Several reviews for the price of one, which by the way is zero dollars. And you'll also get a fabulous idea to boot. So here it goes.<br /><br />I think it's interesting that <span style="font-style: italic;">Inception</span> stars Ellen Page, only it never mentions her anywhere in the previews. She has a rather pivotal role, but all the notice goes to Leo. Maybe Christopher Nolan really hates <span style="font-style: italic;">Juno</span>, like I do. Maybe he saw <span style="font-style: italic;">Juno</span> and hated that it was so caught up in its own clever vernacular and thus couldn't be taken seriously even though it dealt with a very serious subject. And hey doesn't <span style="font-style: italic;">Juno</span> do for teen pregnancy what <span style="font-style: italic;">Pretty Woman</span> did for prostitution? And hey didn't Juno really screw up her pop culture smarts when she said Thundercats Are Go instead of Thunderbirds Are Go? <span style="font-style: italic;">Thunderbirds</span> was a terrible movie by the way. It really did the TV show a horrible injustice. If you want to see <span style="font-style: italic;">Thunderbirds</span> done right, watch <span style="font-style: italic;">Team America: World Police</span>. Did you know that the creator of <span style="font-style: italic;">Thunderbirds</span>, Gerry Anderson, originally wanted <span style="font-style: italic;">Thunderbirds</span> to be a live action TV series, but made them marionettes to save money? And what's Ben Kingsley doing as The Hood? Man, that guy will star in just about anything. Like <span style="font-style: italic;">Sexy Beast</span>. Now there's a fantastic movie. I love to watch a really brilliant actor just chew up a role and spit it out. And Kingsley does that in about every scene he's in, but especially on the plane ride he never takes. But really, when I think of Ben Kingsley, I think of his geeky, menacing character in <span style="font-style: italic;">Sneakers</span>. A fun movie to watch on a rainy day with the tween kid. But let me get more specific here and talk about the scene I really think of when I think of Ben Kingsley. And that's the one when he knows that Redford has broken in and stolen the black decoder box. So he does this kind of tip-toe run to his office. This geeky prance to his office. Now if I thought that my old friend who is really my nemesis had just stolen my little black decoder box that could help me break any code in the world and he may actually still be in my office, then I wouldn't do a geeky tip-toey prance in to my office. I would do a haul ass, arms a flailing full sprint in to my office and I would be swinging at anything that moved. In addition to Ellen Page, <span style="font-style: italic;">Inception</span> also stars Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Lukas Haas who both star in one of my all-time favorite modern day teen noir films and that is <span style="font-style: italic;">Brick</span>. What a great idea. Let's breed very tall humans that can pick us up from our chairs in front of the TV where we've fallen asleep and take us upstairs and tuck us in to our beds. Then in the morning they could give us piggyback rides. <span style="font-style: italic;">Brick</span> is what <span style="font-style: italic;">Romeo+Juliet</span> tried to be. A really cool movie that bends genres and ties them in to really crazy knots. What saves <span style="font-style: italic;">Brick</span> from not becoming a movie that's really about how clever it is, is that it has a sense of humor. It knows the fine line between clever and stupid. Did you get that? I just dropped a <span style="font-style: italic;">Spinal Tap</span> quote in there. Within that review, within a review, within a review, within a review comes a <span style="font-style: italic;">Spinal Tap</span> quote. You know, it's been so long since I've seen <span style="font-style: italic;">Spinal Tap</span> that I may not consider it to be a great movie anymore. I still quote it often and remember it fondly, but it may not hold up with another viewing. I loved <span style="font-style: italic;">Waiting For Guffman</span> when I saw it in the theater and if someone asked me today if it's a good movie, I would tell them it's a great movie, yet I have made no effort to watch it again. The thing that hit me the hardest when watching <span style="font-style: italic;">Inception</span> was that I was thinking. I was wondering. I was going back in my mind to put the pieces together. When is the last time I had to do that? When is the last time a movie that didn't have David Mammet's name attached to it, do that to me? It was a refreshing experience. Inception is great fun. The idea of a dream within a dream within a dream is a really interesting proposition and I enjoyed that I could be stimulated with an idea rather than a visual shock and awe. Christopher Nolan knows, as any good filmmaker does, there are other ways to stimulate your audience that don't involve robots, explosions or 3-D. As for the specifics, I don't know that I share the same level of craziness about Leo that everyone else does. I think it's hard to grow up in the movies and not still have that childlike stigma attached. Spielberg brilliantly cast him in <span style="font-style: italic;">Catch Me If You Can</span>, but I don't know that DiCaprio has officially grown up for the leading man roll. When he talks about his kids, I can't believe it. And when he suffers from inner turmoil about his lost wife, I can't really believe that as well. Inner anger I can buy as I did in <span style="font-style: italic;">Gangs of New York</span> and <span style="font-style: italic;">The Departed</span>. Thankfully, this movie didn't necessarily need an actor with enormous emotional depth. It just needed someone to take us from one scene to the next and Leo does that for us. But to me, <span style="font-style: italic;">Inception</span> isn't so much about the acting as it is about the concept. And it's a great concept. Nolan knows how to put together a movie. And I might just call <span style="font-style: italic;">Inception</span> a really good thinking man's blockbuster.<br /><br />Now let me finish my cocktail with a naked Kate Winslet who is feeding me no-calorie chocolate cake before someone gives me a "kick" out of this dream.<br /><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Lazy Eye Theatre - Wandering Film Talk</div>PIPERhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13054305230216613759noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-907928872183762741.post-8354601646580984322010-04-06T13:39:00.000-07:002010-04-06T14:04:16.965-07:00My Problem with 3D<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S7uhS5_a4pI/AAAAAAAAED8/yaW5uAikA4o/s1600/3d-movie.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 384px; height: 256px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S7uhS5_a4pI/AAAAAAAAED8/yaW5uAikA4o/s320/3d-movie.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5457132719666029202" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">I say "my problem" meaning I only have one, but actually I have several problems with the current Hollywood craze. Allow me to list them for you.<br /><br />1. Before the beginning of the movie, a frame appears on the screen that asks you to "consider the environment and please recycle your 3D glasses." What it should say is "consider our pocketbooks and please give us back our 3D glasses, so that we may wash them in the special glass washers that we sell to the movie theaters for a large sum so that they may reuse them again for little cost." For this reason, I keep them, even if it means that I throw them in my kitchen drawer that gets random whatnot like screws and cards and tape and marbles and string. I take pride in the fact that I have not recycled these glasses because the stupid Hollywood machine is trying to mask its greed by acting like it's considering the environment. Every time I do not recycle the glasses, I give a sinister "he, he, he" as I twirl my imaginary sinister mustache. It brings me extreme joy.<br /><br />2. 3D is not the future. It's the past. And the past is a gimmick. Like Smell-O-Vision or Odorama. It's a reminder that you're not watching a good story, but instead watching a movie. One that's probably not very good, but is covering up for it by making it 3D. What's next? Will Ford reintroduce the Edsel as the future of automobiles?<br /><br />3. If you're going to do 3D, then by God do 3D. Have shit jump out at me and make me duck into my popcorn. Give me back <span style="font-style: italic;">Friday the 13th III in 3D</span> with eyeballs flying at me and <span style="font-style: italic;">Treasure of the Four Crowns</span>. If you're going to shoot something in 3D, make me feel it. Don't tell me that 3D adds depth. That's just a bullshit attempt of making 3D seem legit. Good cinematography adds depth.<br /><br />Hopefully, this will do it. Millions will read this and say "Jesus, Piper. You're right." And then 3D will go the way of the Dodo. Until then, I'm going to keep my extra dollars in my pocket and spend them on something important, like SweetTarts.<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Lazy Eye Theatre - Wandering Film Talk</div>PIPERhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13054305230216613759noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-907928872183762741.post-76185978935443067192010-03-15T18:05:00.000-07:002010-03-15T19:02:44.647-07:00My Marriage Proposal To The Newly Single Kate Winslet<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZvkicoBI/AAAAAAAAEDk/k2h_jDggHMU/s1600-h/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 167px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZvkicoBI/AAAAAAAAEDk/k2h_jDggHMU/s200/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449032010450116626" border="0" /></a><br />Hello Mrs. Winslet.<br /></div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZkbHG9wI/AAAAAAAAEDc/twgPlM0nWJ8/s1600-h/kate-winslet.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 172px; height: 200px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZkbHG9wI/AAAAAAAAEDc/twgPlM0nWJ8/s200/kate-winslet.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449031818940970754" border="0" /></a><br />Hello Piper.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZvkicoBI/AAAAAAAAEDk/k2h_jDggHMU/s1600-h/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 167px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZvkicoBI/AAAAAAAAEDk/k2h_jDggHMU/s200/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449032010450116626" border="0" /></a><br />Oh wait. It's Miss now, isn't it.<br /></div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZkbHG9wI/AAAAAAAAEDc/twgPlM0nWJ8/s1600-h/kate-winslet.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 172px; height: 200px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZkbHG9wI/AAAAAAAAEDc/twgPlM0nWJ8/s200/kate-winslet.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449031818940970754" border="0" /></a><br />Yes.<br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZvkicoBI/AAAAAAAAEDk/k2h_jDggHMU/s1600-h/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 167px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZvkicoBI/AAAAAAAAEDk/k2h_jDggHMU/s200/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449032010450116626" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Sorry to hear about that.<br /><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZkbHG9wI/AAAAAAAAEDc/twgPlM0nWJ8/s1600-h/kate-winslet.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 172px; height: 200px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZkbHG9wI/AAAAAAAAEDc/twgPlM0nWJ8/s200/kate-winslet.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449031818940970754" border="0" /></a><br />Thanks.</div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZvkicoBI/AAAAAAAAEDk/k2h_jDggHMU/s1600-h/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 167px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZvkicoBI/AAAAAAAAEDk/k2h_jDggHMU/s200/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449032010450116626" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Massage your shoulders?<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZkbHG9wI/AAAAAAAAEDc/twgPlM0nWJ8/s1600-h/kate-winslet.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 172px; height: 200px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZkbHG9wI/AAAAAAAAEDc/twgPlM0nWJ8/s200/kate-winslet.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449031818940970754" border="0" /></a><br />What?<br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZvkicoBI/AAAAAAAAEDk/k2h_jDggHMU/s1600-h/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 167px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZvkicoBI/AAAAAAAAEDk/k2h_jDggHMU/s200/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449032010450116626" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Huh?<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZkbHG9wI/AAAAAAAAEDc/twgPlM0nWJ8/s1600-h/kate-winslet.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 172px; height: 200px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZkbHG9wI/AAAAAAAAEDc/twgPlM0nWJ8/s200/kate-winslet.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449031818940970754" border="0" /></a><br />Did you want to massage my shoulders?<br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZvkicoBI/AAAAAAAAEDk/k2h_jDggHMU/s1600-h/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 167px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZvkicoBI/AAAAAAAAEDk/k2h_jDggHMU/s200/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449032010450116626" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Do you want me to?<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZkbHG9wI/AAAAAAAAEDc/twgPlM0nWJ8/s1600-h/kate-winslet.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 172px; height: 200px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZkbHG9wI/AAAAAAAAEDc/twgPlM0nWJ8/s200/kate-winslet.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449031818940970754" border="0" /></a><br />I'm fine. Thanks.<br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZvkicoBI/AAAAAAAAEDk/k2h_jDggHMU/s1600-h/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 167px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZvkicoBI/AAAAAAAAEDk/k2h_jDggHMU/s200/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449032010450116626" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Ello.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZkbHG9wI/AAAAAAAAEDc/twgPlM0nWJ8/s1600-h/kate-winslet.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 172px; height: 200px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZkbHG9wI/AAAAAAAAEDc/twgPlM0nWJ8/s200/kate-winslet.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449031818940970754" border="0" /></a><br />Excuse me?<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZvkicoBI/AAAAAAAAEDk/k2h_jDggHMU/s1600-h/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 167px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZvkicoBI/AAAAAAAAEDk/k2h_jDggHMU/s200/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449032010450116626" border="0" /></a><br />I said. Ello.<br /></div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZkbHG9wI/AAAAAAAAEDc/twgPlM0nWJ8/s1600-h/kate-winslet.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 172px; height: 200px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZkbHG9wI/AAAAAAAAEDc/twgPlM0nWJ8/s200/kate-winslet.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449031818940970754" border="0" /></a><br />Why did you say that?<br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZvkicoBI/AAAAAAAAEDk/k2h_jDggHMU/s1600-h/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 167px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZvkicoBI/AAAAAAAAEDk/k2h_jDggHMU/s200/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449032010450116626" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">To show that I can be English. Fish and chips?<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZkbHG9wI/AAAAAAAAEDc/twgPlM0nWJ8/s1600-h/kate-winslet.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 172px; height: 200px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZkbHG9wI/AAAAAAAAEDc/twgPlM0nWJ8/s200/kate-winslet.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449031818940970754" border="0" /></a><br />No. No thanks.<br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZvkicoBI/AAAAAAAAEDk/k2h_jDggHMU/s1600-h/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 167px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZvkicoBI/AAAAAAAAEDk/k2h_jDggHMU/s200/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449032010450116626" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">So how long 'til you get back on the wagon?<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZkbHG9wI/AAAAAAAAEDc/twgPlM0nWJ8/s1600-h/kate-winslet.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 172px; height: 200px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZkbHG9wI/AAAAAAAAEDc/twgPlM0nWJ8/s200/kate-winslet.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449031818940970754" border="0" /></a><br />You mean dating?</div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZvkicoBI/AAAAAAAAEDk/k2h_jDggHMU/s1600-h/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 167px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZvkicoBI/AAAAAAAAEDk/k2h_jDggHMU/s200/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449032010450116626" border="0" /></a><br />The clock's ticking Kate. Why date when you can just go straight to marriage.<br /></div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZkbHG9wI/AAAAAAAAEDc/twgPlM0nWJ8/s1600-h/kate-winslet.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 172px; height: 200px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZkbHG9wI/AAAAAAAAEDc/twgPlM0nWJ8/s200/kate-winslet.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449031818940970754" border="0" /></a><br />It's going to be a while. I need some time.<br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZvkicoBI/AAAAAAAAEDk/k2h_jDggHMU/s1600-h/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 167px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZvkicoBI/AAAAAAAAEDk/k2h_jDggHMU/s200/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449032010450116626" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Like 15 minutes or something?<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZkbHG9wI/AAAAAAAAEDc/twgPlM0nWJ8/s1600-h/kate-winslet.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 172px; height: 200px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZkbHG9wI/AAAAAAAAEDc/twgPlM0nWJ8/s200/kate-winslet.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449031818940970754" border="0" /></a><br />A little more time.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZvkicoBI/AAAAAAAAEDk/k2h_jDggHMU/s1600-h/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 167px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZvkicoBI/AAAAAAAAEDk/k2h_jDggHMU/s200/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449032010450116626" border="0" /></a><br />I loved The Holiday.<br /></div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZkbHG9wI/AAAAAAAAEDc/twgPlM0nWJ8/s1600-h/kate-winslet.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 172px; height: 200px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZkbHG9wI/AAAAAAAAEDc/twgPlM0nWJ8/s200/kate-winslet.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449031818940970754" border="0" /></a><br />You did? I thought you hated Nancy Meyers.<br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZvkicoBI/AAAAAAAAEDk/k2h_jDggHMU/s1600-h/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 167px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZvkicoBI/AAAAAAAAEDk/k2h_jDggHMU/s200/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449032010450116626" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">I do. But I love you. I mean, I like you. I could love you. I could be a great lover... of you. I would comb your hair. And we could cuddle after we... you know. I wouldn't get up and say I have to (air quotes) direct a movie (air quotes) or something like some deadbeat we know.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZkbHG9wI/AAAAAAAAEDc/twgPlM0nWJ8/s1600-h/kate-winslet.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 172px; height: 200px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZkbHG9wI/AAAAAAAAEDc/twgPlM0nWJ8/s200/kate-winslet.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449031818940970754" border="0" /></a>I'm feeling a little uncomfortable.<br /><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZvkicoBI/AAAAAAAAEDk/k2h_jDggHMU/s1600-h/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 167px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZvkicoBI/AAAAAAAAEDk/k2h_jDggHMU/s200/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449032010450116626" border="0" /></a><br />Would you like if I massaged your feet?<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZkbHG9wI/AAAAAAAAEDc/twgPlM0nWJ8/s1600-h/kate-winslet.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 172px; height: 200px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZkbHG9wI/AAAAAAAAEDc/twgPlM0nWJ8/s200/kate-winslet.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449031818940970754" border="0" /></a><br />No, I'm fine.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZvkicoBI/AAAAAAAAEDk/k2h_jDggHMU/s1600-h/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 167px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZvkicoBI/AAAAAAAAEDk/k2h_jDggHMU/s200/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449032010450116626" border="0" /></a><br />Okay, let's play a game. Ready?<br /></div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZkbHG9wI/AAAAAAAAEDc/twgPlM0nWJ8/s1600-h/kate-winslet.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 172px; height: 200px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZkbHG9wI/AAAAAAAAEDc/twgPlM0nWJ8/s200/kate-winslet.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449031818940970754" border="0" /></a><br />Alright...</div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZvkicoBI/AAAAAAAAEDk/k2h_jDggHMU/s1600-h/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 167px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZvkicoBI/AAAAAAAAEDk/k2h_jDggHMU/s200/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449032010450116626" border="0" /></a><br />Do you like the color red?<br /></div><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZkbHG9wI/AAAAAAAAEDc/twgPlM0nWJ8/s1600-h/kate-winslet.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 172px; height: 200px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZkbHG9wI/AAAAAAAAEDc/twgPlM0nWJ8/s200/kate-winslet.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449031818940970754" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Not really.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZvkicoBI/AAAAAAAAEDk/k2h_jDggHMU/s1600-h/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 167px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZvkicoBI/AAAAAAAAEDk/k2h_jDggHMU/s200/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449032010450116626" border="0" /></a><br />Okay, let's try this again. Do you like acting with Leonardo DiCaprio?<br /></div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZkbHG9wI/AAAAAAAAEDc/twgPlM0nWJ8/s1600-h/kate-winslet.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 172px; height: 200px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZkbHG9wI/AAAAAAAAEDc/twgPlM0nWJ8/s200/kate-winslet.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449031818940970754" border="0" /></a>Leo is a fantastic actor.<br /><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZvkicoBI/AAAAAAAAEDk/k2h_jDggHMU/s1600-h/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 167px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZvkicoBI/AAAAAAAAEDk/k2h_jDggHMU/s200/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449032010450116626" border="0" /></a><br />That's not really the answer I'm looking for. Let's try this again. Do you like to breathe air?<br /></div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZkbHG9wI/AAAAAAAAEDc/twgPlM0nWJ8/s1600-h/kate-winslet.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 172px; height: 200px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZkbHG9wI/AAAAAAAAEDc/twgPlM0nWJ8/s200/kate-winslet.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449031818940970754" border="0" /></a><br />I do.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57eMLYeRcI/AAAAAAAAEDs/rr1Ohub4X0I/s1600-h/clergymanpbride2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 244px; height: 134px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57eMLYeRcI/AAAAAAAAEDs/rr1Ohub4X0I/s200/clergymanpbride2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449036899960112578" border="0" /></a>I now pronounce you Man and Wife.<br /><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZvkicoBI/AAAAAAAAEDk/k2h_jDggHMU/s1600-h/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 167px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZvkicoBI/AAAAAAAAEDk/k2h_jDggHMU/s200/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449032010450116626" border="0" /></a><br />Hello Mrs. Kate Winslet Piper.<br /></div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZkbHG9wI/AAAAAAAAEDc/twgPlM0nWJ8/s1600-h/kate-winslet.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 172px; height: 200px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZkbHG9wI/AAAAAAAAEDc/twgPlM0nWJ8/s200/kate-winslet.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449031818940970754" border="0" /></a><br />Wait. What just happened?<br /><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZvkicoBI/AAAAAAAAEDk/k2h_jDggHMU/s1600-h/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 167px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZvkicoBI/AAAAAAAAEDk/k2h_jDggHMU/s200/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449032010450116626" border="0" /></a><br />We're married, baby. And once you go Lazy Eye, you'll never go straight again.<br /></div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZkbHG9wI/AAAAAAAAEDc/twgPlM0nWJ8/s1600-h/kate-winslet.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 172px; height: 200px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZkbHG9wI/AAAAAAAAEDc/twgPlM0nWJ8/s200/kate-winslet.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449031818940970754" border="0" /></a><br />What?</div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZvkicoBI/AAAAAAAAEDk/k2h_jDggHMU/s1600-h/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 167px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZvkicoBI/AAAAAAAAEDk/k2h_jDggHMU/s200/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449032010450116626" border="0" /></a><br />Never mind. Let's just go and make this legit.<br /></div><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S57ZkbHG9wI/AAAAAAAAEDc/twgPlM0nWJ8/s1600-h/kate-winslet.jpg"><br /></a><div class="blogger-post-footer">Lazy Eye Theatre - Wandering Film Talk</div>PIPERhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13054305230216613759noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-907928872183762741.post-12067431542100917662010-03-08T11:13:00.000-08:002010-03-08T12:02:43.258-08:00Weird ThingFirst, let me apologize. I know that there are probably two people out there who read this blog who I have left hanging with my Apocalypse Preparation. Two people who had done everything I've asked of them. But then I left them hanging. Truth be told, I was held up in my Apocalyptic Shelter waiting for what I thought would be the inevitable. But then a pigeon appeared at my door with a note attached to it. The note simply read "<span style="font-style: italic;">Avatar</span> did not win everything. You're a moron." This note was sent from my wife who never believed that the Apocalypse was on the horizon. So I guess despite the fact that Sandra Bullock won for best actress and Tim Burton is still to head the Cannes Jury despite very mixed and sometimes venomous reviews of his box office winner. Wait, did I say winner? I mean to say wiener.<br /><br />Alright, that's me just kind of rambling. The truth is that even if <span style="font-style: italic;">Avatar</span> won everything under the sun, the Apocalypse wouldn't have happened due to one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse coming down with the H1-N1 Flu. And you can't really have an Apocalypse with three horsemen. So, there we are. Feel free to go about your normal days, consuming gobs of materials that you don't need and worrying about stuff that really isn't that important. Or as I like to describe it, complete bliss.<br /><br />And now on to the Oscars, which were a really nice surprise. Who would have thought that amongst the mess that was ten best picture nominations, there would be justice in the form of <span style="font-style: italic;">The Hurt Locker</span> winning most everything. But that's how funny the Oscars are.<br /><br />Some favorites from the night.<br /><br />One of the red carpet commentators saying that Sandra Bullock should win an Oscar because she was "due." Oh yeah, from all those great movies she's done that no one has noticed before.<br /><br />The Kayne moment was weird.<br /><br />How in the world does <span style="font-style: italic;">Avatar</span> win for best cinematography?<br /><br />I was glad to see Fisher Stevens get recognized for another great accomplishment. You know, other than <span style="font-style: italic;">Short Circuit</span>. (More on this later)<br /><br />Every time I look at Suzy Amis, I think how Kathryn Bigelow would look if she had stayed married to James Cameron.<br /><br />The true injustice of the night was not Sandra Bullock beating out Streep and everyone else for Best Actress. It was the Pixar propaganda machine making people believe that <span style="font-style: italic;">Up</span> was better than <span style="font-style: italic;">Fantastic Mr. Fox</span>. It never was and never will be. I would argue that <span style="font-style: italic;">Fantastic Mr. Fox</span> was the most interesting movie of last year.<br /><br />That is all. Lazy Eye Apocalyptic Preparation Theatre from here on in will change back to Lazy Eye Theatre.<br /><br />Thanks<div class="blogger-post-footer">Lazy Eye Theatre - Wandering Film Talk</div>PIPERhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13054305230216613759noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-907928872183762741.post-47471643170136836242010-02-24T09:30:00.000-08:002010-02-24T11:22:03.154-08:00Lazy Eye Apocalypse Preparation Day 24<div style="text-align: justify;">I don't know if you guys know this or not, but there's an emerging technology out there. Something called Podcasting? It's where people record their voices and then cast it out to thousands and millions of people. Maybe even billions. Yeah, I'm serious. This technology exists right now. Not 2 years from now, but right this instant. And I've used it. I have. No Mom, it's not the work of the devil. It's useful. Especially when you have stuff to rant about, like the Oscars, which by the way are going to be the end of everything as I have <a style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);" href="http://lazyeyetheatre.blogspot.com/2010/01/time-to-prepare-for-apocalypse.html">stated previously</a>. So anyway, a co-worker/friend of mine Jeremy at <a style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);" href="http://theyettobenamedpodcast.com/">the Yet To Be Named Podcast</a> and <a style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);" href="http://themartinishaker.com/">the Martini Shaker</a> along with a super swell guy named Trip Ross invited me to be a part of this podcast. He told me to just say a few words, no longer than a minute of actual conversation would be needed from me. Well, screw that, I said. So I talked and I talked and I talked until Jeremy's computer ran out of tape, because we still use tape to record stuff, right? And even though I paid no attention to Jermy's guidelines, he agreed to still run the podcast anyway because he feels sorry for me.<br /><br />So I'm sure a lot of you have been sitting at home eating a bowl of your favorite cereal and inbetween bites have thought "I wonder what Piper's voice sounds like?" I know you have thought that to yourself, so don't deny it. You've thought "I wonder if his voice is kind of whiney, or bold and mysterious, or is it kind of nasally due to a deviated septum that he suffered from frisbee football in Jr. High." If you chose the last one, you would be right.<br /><br />So read no longer. Instead, listen to this heady conversation about the upcoming Oscars.<br /><br />Right <a style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);" href="http://theyettobenamedpodcast.com/2010/02/untitled-episode-6/">HERE</a>.<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Lazy Eye Theatre - Wandering Film Talk</div>PIPERhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13054305230216613759noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-907928872183762741.post-50532775288944332952010-02-16T09:28:00.000-08:002010-02-18T13:40:11.273-08:00Lazy Eye Apocalypse Preparation Day 18<div style="text-align: justify;">Okay, hopefully you have selected your leader. But let's just say you're not the leader type, but you're not the following type either. Maybe you're the muscle type. The type of guy who wants to assist the leader and by "assist" I mean, kick the shit out of anyone who steps out of line. I'm talking about the guy who wants to be next in line when the leader eventually eats it. Or when you eventually eat the leader, because, it's only a matter of time before you go cannibal. So which one of these are you?<br /></div><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S32rsEdL_WI/AAAAAAAAEC0/p_ISYY_Aykg/s1600-h/iu7oi7j25wp8i875.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 359px; height: 176px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S32rsEdL_WI/AAAAAAAAEC0/p_ISYY_Aykg/s320/iu7oi7j25wp8i875.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5439692698532183394" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;">Romero (Frank Doubleday) </span><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(153, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;">Escape From New York</span><br />This is the full-on creep look. Just looking at him I want to shit my pants and I don't even know how strong he is. He could be a complete pussy and I wouldn't even know because I would be curled up with snot bubbles coming out my nose from straight-up fear. If you go Romero, just make sure you're crazy enough that no one ever really wants to physically challenge you.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S32rzKCrNQI/AAAAAAAAEC8/wlRQYq4QGuY/s1600-h/l_266697_f78f7257.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 229px; height: 350px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S32rzKCrNQI/AAAAAAAAEC8/wlRQYq4QGuY/s320/l_266697_f78f7257.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5439692820290680066" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;">Gogo Yubari (Chiaki Kuriyama) </span><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(153, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;">Kill Bill</span><br />Oh look, who is the cute little Asian school girl. Honey, what's she swinging around? Is that a jump rope of some kind. Is she going to jump rope for us? That's so sweet. Wait, it looks like there's something sharp on the end of that rope? Is she old enough to be playing with something that sharp? And that's when the death ball gets stuck in your skull. Never let them see you coming. That's the way of the Gogo.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S32r7QeVKBI/AAAAAAAAEDE/nVzgBfaYqcw/s1600-h/Picture+2.png"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 353px; height: 240px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S32r7QeVKBI/AAAAAAAAEDE/nVzgBfaYqcw/s320/Picture+2.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5439692959456241682" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;">Wez (Vernon Wells) </span><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(153, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;">The Road Warrior</span><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Wez is so crazy it hurts. Plus he's a snappy dresser. These are good qualities.<br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S32qn9XK1CI/AAAAAAAAECk/uAlFrHj5Oak/s1600-h/15076_512x208.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 366px; height: 148px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S32qn9XK1CI/AAAAAAAAECk/uAlFrHj5Oak/s320/15076_512x208.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5439691528396788770" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;">Jimmy (Marshall R. Teague) </span><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(153, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;">Road House</span><br />Really? In the context of all these other choices, Jimmy is the most boring. You might as well salt and pepper your entire body and wait to be eaten if you go Jimmy because as muscle goes, you have no imagination.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S32sF4Z-ueI/AAAAAAAAEDM/6c-EizuEfpI/s1600-h/Picture+3.png"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 348px; height: 144px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S32sF4Z-ueI/AAAAAAAAEDM/6c-EizuEfpI/s320/Picture+3.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5439693141974104546" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;">Priss (Daryl Hannah) </span><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(153, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;">Blade Runner</span><br />Priss is a survivor. She may look like a sick cat that's been pushed up against the wall, but she's a sick cat that just so happens to have bionic strength and can go Mary Lou Retton across the room and put you in a headlock to end all headlocks.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S32rHks3xAI/AAAAAAAAECs/aSqTaaDXl8Y/s1600-h/best-james-bond-villains-odd-job.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 183px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S32rHks3xAI/AAAAAAAAECs/aSqTaaDXl8Y/s320/best-james-bond-villains-odd-job.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5439692071532741634" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;">Oddjob (Harold Sakata) </span><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(153, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;">Goldfinger</span><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">This is really the way to go. You're at the ready to behead someone if needed, but you're also ready to attend a formal dinner or perhaps an Opera opening night, assuming that there might be formal dinners or opening nights after the Apocalypse.<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Lazy Eye Theatre - Wandering Film Talk</div>PIPERhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13054305230216613759noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-907928872183762741.post-18878432274925044072010-02-11T06:00:00.000-08:002010-02-11T08:44:48.198-08:00Lazy Eye Apocalypse Preparation Day 11<div style="text-align: justify;">Okay, so if you've followed the Lazy Eye Apocalypse Preparation Guide thus far, you've slept with and impregnated/inseminated a beautiful famous person and now you're living off of random humans. Preferably the fat and slow ones.<br /><br />But what now? Now it's time to establish yourself in the hierarchy of the new world. Are you a leader or a follower? L.E.A.P.T. only caters to leaders, so if you're a follower, you're probably dead at this part in the Apocalypse. But if you are a leader, what kind of a leader are you? There are many to choose from.<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S3M7vQjNHKI/AAAAAAAAECM/iwDnIyo6AfE/s1600-h/Picture+5.png"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 228px; height: 290px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S3M7vQjNHKI/AAAAAAAAECM/iwDnIyo6AfE/s320/Picture+5.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5436754858248838306" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;">The Father (Lance Henriksen) - </span><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(153, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;">No Escape</span><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">A nice pleasant choice, if you want to sit down and have tea. The Father is more likely to talk you to death with philosophy than to kill you with his physical presence. But what The Father promises is a more understanding future. If you choose to be The Father, just make sure you have a badass sidekick (see future posts).<br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S3M6jT-pE9I/AAAAAAAAEBs/0RRaggsXi4c/s1600-h/37776_1280x532.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 358px; height: 149px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S3M6jT-pE9I/AAAAAAAAEBs/0RRaggsXi4c/s320/37776_1280x532.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5436753553499165650" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;">Aunty Entity (Tina Turner) - </span><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(153, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;">Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome</span><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">I think if you're going to be a leader, it's important to have great legs and a bosom that people can lose a couple of hours in. Not only that, she's got muscle to boot. Not the most diplomatic or democratic, but you could do worse.<br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S3M6NtFbbbI/AAAAAAAAEBk/nvme6CA-sRU/s1600-h/5639_576x432.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S3M6NtFbbbI/AAAAAAAAEBk/nvme6CA-sRU/s320/5639_576x432.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5436753182281395634" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;">Randall Flagg (Jamey Sheridan) - </span><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(153, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;">The Stand</span><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">I don't know, maybe after the Apocalypse you can come back as the devil. Maybe. Weirder things have happened, right?<br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S3M8Fn50gLI/AAAAAAAAECc/5jrPbFTS030/s1600-h/The_Postman_43031_Medium.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 203px; height: 311px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S3M8Fn50gLI/AAAAAAAAECc/5jrPbFTS030/s320/The_Postman_43031_Medium.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5436755242474832050" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;">The Postman (Kevin Costner) - </span><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(153, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;">The Postman</span><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Okay, this entry was just a test. If you chose to be The Postman, lash yourself 72 times with a strip of the old HotWheels racetrack. I'll wait. Seriously, who wants to model themselves after a government service that's about as unreliable as... oh I don't know... the US Post Office.<br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S3M6qsAjxPI/AAAAAAAAEB0/fFe_o9AEVBc/s1600-h/DieKlapperschlange_scene_03.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 136px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S3M6qsAjxPI/AAAAAAAAEB0/fFe_o9AEVBc/s320/DieKlapperschlange_scene_03.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5436753680208741618" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;">Snake Plissken (Kurt Russell) - </span><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(153, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;">Escape From New York</span><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">The anti-leader leader is really the way to go. Because you take a "fuck it" attitude and if things get too hairy, you just bail and still look cool.<br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S3M74AdBBsI/AAAAAAAAECU/VkfktUolY64/s1600-h/Picture+6.png"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 228px; height: 320px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S3M74AdBBsI/AAAAAAAAECU/VkfktUolY64/s320/Picture+6.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5436755008546735810" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;">Dr. Zaius (Maurice Evans) - </span><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(153, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;">Planet of the Apes</span><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">If you go Dr. Zaius it's important to really switch things up for the new world. Like from now on, women are actually men and men are actually women. Or there's no such thing as clothes. Or from now on the sky is called applesauce. And then bury the past and don't let anyone revisit it.<br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S3M7mZG_DzI/AAAAAAAAECE/dXEV1osgrFw/s1600-h/Picture+4.png"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 136px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S3M7mZG_DzI/AAAAAAAAECE/dXEV1osgrFw/s320/Picture+4.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5436754705927573298" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;">Robert Neville (Charleton Heston) - </span><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(153, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;">The Omega Man</span><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">If you go Neville, you like your cars fast, your guns loaded and your women with really big afros. And that's a good way to roll.<br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S3M60OXlXkI/AAAAAAAAEB8/pnxGCkueAmI/s1600-h/Picture+1.png"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 178px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S3M60OXlXkI/AAAAAAAAEB8/pnxGCkueAmI/s320/Picture+1.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5436753844050943554" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;">Captain Rhodes (Joseph Pilato) - </span><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(153, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;">Day of the Dead</span><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Lead by the gun. Shoot now, shoot yesterday, shoot tomorrow and shoot a couple times while you're waiting to shoot. You won't have many friends, but no one will question you. They'll just revolt against you when you least expect it.<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Lazy Eye Theatre - Wandering Film Talk</div>PIPERhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13054305230216613759noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-907928872183762741.post-20419532993510228222010-02-08T06:00:00.000-08:002010-02-08T06:00:01.162-08:00Lazy Eye Apocalypse Preparation Day 8<div style="text-align: justify;">So let's say you survive the Apocalypse. What then? I'll tell you what then, you start eating humans, that's what then. You go 110% cannibal. Seriously. Yeah, I'm sure you're saying "whatever Piper, I'm going to be able to eat animals and fish and bugs and shit and when I say shit, I really mean shit." Maybe. Maybe for the first couple of weeks or even a month that works and then you start to get lazy and you don't want to spend a couple of days hunting for squirrel and you notice that you're buddy is kind of bugging you because he's crying a lot and bitching about <span style="font-style: italic;">Avatar</span> winning best picture and man, he won't shut up and yeah Cameron's an A-hole and he's really the reason for the Apocalypse but seriously dude, move on because we just need to look for some food, but he's still bitching and whining and Tim Burton this and Sandra Bullock that and before the Apocalypse, you didn't even really like this guy but now you guys are supposed to be friends - why - because of the Apocalypse - well, screw that I'm gonna kill this guy and eat his liver and his spleen and his guts because I hate that dude's guts so much I'm just gonna eat them.<br /></div><br />See what happens? See how easy it is to go cannibal? So don't fight, just go with it. And prepare yourself for the inevitable with these movies.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">Alive</span><br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S292ki4njBI/AAAAAAAAEA8/vhtO-Kq9k4k/s1600-h/alive.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 215px; height: 320px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S292ki4njBI/AAAAAAAAEA8/vhtO-Kq9k4k/s320/alive.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5435693645471124498" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(153, 0, 0);"><span style="font-style: italic;">Motel Hell</span><br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S292tYb0LZI/AAAAAAAAEBE/BwKg3EdM3Rs/s1600-h/motel_hell.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 213px; height: 320px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S292tYb0LZI/AAAAAAAAEBE/BwKg3EdM3Rs/s320/motel_hell.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5435693797284785554" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">The Hills Have Eyes</span><br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2922hl7jbI/AAAAAAAAEBM/9VLIv9LVyiI/s1600-h/hills_have_eyes_ver1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 198px; height: 320px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2922hl7jbI/AAAAAAAAEBM/9VLIv9LVyiI/s320/hills_have_eyes_ver1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5435693954361953714" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover</span><br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S293QbXa5FI/AAAAAAAAEBU/_HXEWITzWo4/s1600-h/cook_the_thief_his_wife_and_her_lover_dvd.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 211px; height: 299px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S293QbXa5FI/AAAAAAAAEBU/_HXEWITzWo4/s320/cook_the_thief_his_wife_and_her_lover_dvd.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5435694399367078994" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0); font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Day of the Dead</span><br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S293Zxu9s_I/AAAAAAAAEBc/1xoQnmXMjUU/s1600-h/day_of_the_dead.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 207px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S293Zxu9s_I/AAAAAAAAEBc/1xoQnmXMjUU/s320/day_of_the_dead.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5435694559990232050" border="0" /></a><div class="blogger-post-footer">Lazy Eye Theatre - Wandering Film Talk</div>PIPERhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13054305230216613759noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-907928872183762741.post-644111018536312272010-02-04T06:00:00.000-08:002010-02-04T06:00:07.260-08:00Lazy Eye Apocalypse Preparation Day 4<div style="text-align: justify;">When faced with a looming Apocalypse, the first reaction is usually something along the lines of "Holy Fucking Shit, There's An Apocalypse Looming!" The second reaction is to think about survival. Can you survive? And what will life be like after? We're animals by nature, so it's natural to think about preserving our species. And with the Apocalypse looming and all, let's shoot for the sky and pick our ULTIMATE POST APOCALYPTIC MATE.<br /><br />And remember, there's no better pick up line than "hey, there's an Apocalypse looming, so how about you and I mate and prepare for a future generation."<br /></div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">FOR THE MEN<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">Kate Beckinsale</span><br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2dP4T7SyiI/AAAAAAAAD_s/OYYOkxfd6FU/s1600-h/Kate_Beckinsale_Biography.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 277px; height: 320px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2dP4T7SyiI/AAAAAAAAD_s/OYYOkxfd6FU/s320/Kate_Beckinsale_Biography.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5433399304286030370" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Absolutely beautiful and your kids are guaranteed to be werewolf ass kickers, just in case there are a bunch of werewolves around after the Apocalypse.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">Penelope Cruz</span><br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2dTrT0DIpI/AAAAAAAAD_0/81W_HtgFGVI/s1600-h/84201.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 246px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2dTrT0DIpI/AAAAAAAAD_0/81W_HtgFGVI/s320/84201.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5433403478963856018" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">You'll have an "in" with Woody Allen, assuming he<br />survives the Apocalypse.<br /></div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">Helen Mirren</span><br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2dUHXH_kqI/AAAAAAAAD_8/wAn_VVSvwHo/s1600-h/helen-mirren.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2dUHXH_kqI/AAAAAAAAD_8/wAn_VVSvwHo/s320/helen-mirren.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5433403960889152162" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Proof that your children will grow old beautifully.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">Anna Farris</span><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2djk_vMqvI/AAAAAAAAEAM/PiPYcbeTzJI/s1600-h/anna-faris.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2djk_vMqvI/AAAAAAAAEAM/PiPYcbeTzJI/s320/anna-faris.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5433420962681629426" border="0" /></a><br />Because your kids would be funny during scary times.<br /></div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">Eva Green</span><br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2dXbWbimMI/AAAAAAAAEAE/oKmWQ2cu2Ug/s1600-h/Eva-Green-9958.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 239px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2dXbWbimMI/AAAAAAAAEAE/oKmWQ2cu2Ug/s320/Eva-Green-9958.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5433407602834970818" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Because this list wouldn't be complete without a red head.<br /></div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br />FOR THE WOMEN<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">George Clooney</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2n5PUhxcyI/AAAAAAAAEAc/1GmFV_7y3Yk/s1600-h/george_clooney_8.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 278px; height: 278px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2n5PUhxcyI/AAAAAAAAEAc/1GmFV_7y3Yk/s320/george_clooney_8.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5434148467002929954" border="0" /></a>Because we need a good leading man.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">Sean Connery</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2n6_wR2-jI/AAAAAAAAEA0/mheJ6cEywUU/s1600-h/sean-connery-good.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2n6_wR2-jI/AAAAAAAAEA0/mheJ6cEywUU/s320/sean-connery-good.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5434150398597724722" border="0" /></a>See Helen Mirren.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">Paul Rudd</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2n6233QjJI/AAAAAAAAEAs/2UgF-d3CqBA/s1600-h/paul.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 244px; height: 320px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2n6233QjJI/AAAAAAAAEAs/2UgF-d3CqBA/s320/paul.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5434150246014815378" border="0" /></a>Because your kids would just be great, everyday kids.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">Brad Pitt</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2n5FtE3rkI/AAAAAAAAEAU/bu1ZAhR6YNg/s1600-h/Brad-Pitt-Moustache-03.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 234px; height: 320px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2n5FtE3rkI/AAAAAAAAEAU/bu1ZAhR6YNg/s320/Brad-Pitt-Moustache-03.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5434148301793898050" border="0" /></a>Because even if your kids grew bad mustaches, they would still look good.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">Idris Elba</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2n6ko1IueI/AAAAAAAAEAk/V1-jnidruwI/s1600-h/idris-elba-i000x0451x600.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 241px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2n6ko1IueI/AAAAAAAAEAk/V1-jnidruwI/s320/idris-elba-i000x0451x600.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5434149932741736930" border="0" /></a>Because he's one cool mother... shut your mouth.<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Lazy Eye Theatre - Wandering Film Talk</div>PIPERhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13054305230216613759noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-907928872183762741.post-44181758815007169942010-02-02T11:19:00.001-08:002010-02-02T11:25:21.242-08:00Lazy Eye Apocalypse Preparation Day Update!Well, it looks as if all the planets are aligning. The Oscar nominations came out today and Sandra Bullock is nominated for <span style="font-style: italic;">The Blind Side</span> and <span style="font-style: italic;">Avatar</span> received 9 nominations, including best picture and best director. I hate when I'm right.<br /><br />The complete list can be found <a style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);" href="http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2010/02/02/entertainment/e055422S96.DTL&type=movies">here</a>.<br /><br />Stay tuned good friends. More Apocalyptic preparations to come.<div class="blogger-post-footer">Lazy Eye Theatre - Wandering Film Talk</div>PIPERhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13054305230216613759noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-907928872183762741.post-49675883365341484982010-02-01T06:00:00.000-08:002010-02-01T06:00:04.065-08:00Lazy Eye Apocalypse Preparation Day 1<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2Y7iK9DbeI/AAAAAAAAD_c/uHZ5Tgpv3YY/s1600-h/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 251px; height: 209px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2Y7iK9DbeI/AAAAAAAAD_c/uHZ5Tgpv3YY/s320/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5433095458711104994" border="0" /></a><br />Hey Mrs. Turner, thanks for coming over.<br /></div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2Y7UgU_1nI/AAAAAAAAD_U/GB9INtTu0qk/s1600-h/kathleen_turner_22727t.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 225px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2Y7UgU_1nI/AAAAAAAAD_U/GB9INtTu0qk/s320/kathleen_turner_22727t.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5433095223930508914" border="0" /></a><br />Of course Piper. I wouldn't miss an opportunity to be on Lazy Eye. And you can call me Kathleen.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2Y7iK9DbeI/AAAAAAAAD_c/uHZ5Tgpv3YY/s1600-h/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 251px; height: 209px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2Y7iK9DbeI/AAAAAAAAD_c/uHZ5Tgpv3YY/s320/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5433095458711104994" border="0" /></a><br />Thanks Kathleen. So as you know, there's been some crazy shit going on in the movie<br />business lately.<br /></div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2Y7UgU_1nI/AAAAAAAAD_U/GB9INtTu0qk/s1600-h/kathleen_turner_22727t.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 225px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2Y7UgU_1nI/AAAAAAAAD_U/GB9INtTu0qk/s320/kathleen_turner_22727t.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5433095223930508914" border="0" /></a><br />Tell me about it.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2Y7iK9DbeI/AAAAAAAAD_c/uHZ5Tgpv3YY/s1600-h/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 251px; height: 209px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2Y7iK9DbeI/AAAAAAAAD_c/uHZ5Tgpv3YY/s320/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5433095458711104994" border="0" /></a><br />I know, right?<br /></div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2Y7UgU_1nI/AAAAAAAAD_U/GB9INtTu0qk/s1600-h/kathleen_turner_22727t.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 225px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2Y7UgU_1nI/AAAAAAAAD_U/GB9INtTu0qk/s320/kathleen_turner_22727t.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5433095223930508914" border="0" /></a><br />I know, right?<br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2Y7iK9DbeI/AAAAAAAAD_c/uHZ5Tgpv3YY/s1600-h/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 251px; height: 209px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2Y7iK9DbeI/AAAAAAAAD_c/uHZ5Tgpv3YY/s320/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5433095458711104994" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Right?<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2Y7UgU_1nI/AAAAAAAAD_U/GB9INtTu0qk/s1600-h/kathleen_turner_22727t.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 225px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2Y7UgU_1nI/AAAAAAAAD_U/GB9INtTu0qk/s320/kathleen_turner_22727t.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5433095223930508914" border="0" /></a><br />I know.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2Y7iK9DbeI/AAAAAAAAD_c/uHZ5Tgpv3YY/s1600-h/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 251px; height: 209px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2Y7iK9DbeI/AAAAAAAAD_c/uHZ5Tgpv3YY/s320/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5433095458711104994" border="0" /></a><br />Anyway, so I'm helping everyone prepare for the Apocalypse, because all signs seem to be pointing towards it.<br /></div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2Y7UgU_1nI/AAAAAAAAD_U/GB9INtTu0qk/s1600-h/kathleen_turner_22727t.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 225px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2Y7UgU_1nI/AAAAAAAAD_U/GB9INtTu0qk/s320/kathleen_turner_22727t.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5433095223930508914" border="0" /></a><br />Alright. So what do you need from me?<br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2Y7iK9DbeI/AAAAAAAAD_c/uHZ5Tgpv3YY/s1600-h/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 251px; height: 209px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2Y7iK9DbeI/AAAAAAAAD_c/uHZ5Tgpv3YY/s320/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5433095458711104994" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Well, I thought you were perfect to kick this month off because you've obviously been through an Apocalypse already.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2Y7UgU_1nI/AAAAAAAAD_U/GB9INtTu0qk/s1600-h/kathleen_turner_22727t.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 225px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2Y7UgU_1nI/AAAAAAAAD_U/GB9INtTu0qk/s320/kathleen_turner_22727t.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5433095223930508914" border="0" /></a><br />How did you know?<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2Y7iK9DbeI/AAAAAAAAD_c/uHZ5Tgpv3YY/s1600-h/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 251px; height: 209px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2Y7iK9DbeI/AAAAAAAAD_c/uHZ5Tgpv3YY/s320/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5433095458711104994" border="0" /></a><br />Well, I mean... look at you. You look like you've stared death straight in the face and<br />death lost.<br /></div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2Y7UgU_1nI/AAAAAAAAD_U/GB9INtTu0qk/s1600-h/kathleen_turner_22727t.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 225px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2Y7UgU_1nI/AAAAAAAAD_U/GB9INtTu0qk/s320/kathleen_turner_22727t.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5433095223930508914" border="0" /></a><br />I know, right?<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2Y7iK9DbeI/AAAAAAAAD_c/uHZ5Tgpv3YY/s1600-h/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 251px; height: 209px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2Y7iK9DbeI/AAAAAAAAD_c/uHZ5Tgpv3YY/s320/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5433095458711104994" border="0" /></a><br />Yeah. Your face looks like you've toured in Nam, Dessert Storm and with the Rolling Stones for the past 50 years.<br /></div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2Y7UgU_1nI/AAAAAAAAD_U/GB9INtTu0qk/s1600-h/kathleen_turner_22727t.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 225px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2Y7UgU_1nI/AAAAAAAAD_U/GB9INtTu0qk/s320/kathleen_turner_22727t.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5433095223930508914" border="0" /></a><br />I know, right?<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2Y7iK9DbeI/AAAAAAAAD_c/uHZ5Tgpv3YY/s1600-h/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 251px; height: 209px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2Y7iK9DbeI/AAAAAAAAD_c/uHZ5Tgpv3YY/s320/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5433095458711104994" border="0" /></a><br />So the good news is that we can survive an Apocalypse.<br /></div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2Y7UgU_1nI/AAAAAAAAD_U/GB9INtTu0qk/s1600-h/kathleen_turner_22727t.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 225px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2Y7UgU_1nI/AAAAAAAAD_U/GB9INtTu0qk/s320/kathleen_turner_22727t.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5433095223930508914" border="0" /></a>Yes. And it turns out that now I can eat steel.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2Y7iK9DbeI/AAAAAAAAD_c/uHZ5Tgpv3YY/s1600-h/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 251px; height: 209px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2Y7iK9DbeI/AAAAAAAAD_c/uHZ5Tgpv3YY/s320/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5433095458711104994" border="0" /></a><br />Steel. Really?<br /></div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2Y7UgU_1nI/AAAAAAAAD_U/GB9INtTu0qk/s1600-h/kathleen_turner_22727t.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 225px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2Y7UgU_1nI/AAAAAAAAD_U/GB9INtTu0qk/s320/kathleen_turner_22727t.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5433095223930508914" border="0" /></a><br />And I don't sleep anymore, yet I feel like I get 8 hours a night.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2Y7iK9DbeI/AAAAAAAAD_c/uHZ5Tgpv3YY/s1600-h/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 251px; height: 209px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2Y7iK9DbeI/AAAAAAAAD_c/uHZ5Tgpv3YY/s320/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5433095458711104994" border="0" /></a><br />That's fantastic news. So the Apocalypse doesn't sound like such a bad thing after all.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2Y7UgU_1nI/AAAAAAAAD_U/GB9INtTu0qk/s1600-h/kathleen_turner_22727t.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 225px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2Y7UgU_1nI/AAAAAAAAD_U/GB9INtTu0qk/s320/kathleen_turner_22727t.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5433095223930508914" border="0" /></a>Not at all. And the best part is, <span style="font-style: italic;">V.I. Warshawski</span> is the only movie that didn't get destroyed. And it plays in all the theaters, nonstop.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2Y7iK9DbeI/AAAAAAAAD_c/uHZ5Tgpv3YY/s1600-h/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 251px; height: 209px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2Y7iK9DbeI/AAAAAAAAD_c/uHZ5Tgpv3YY/s320/300px-MartyFeldman.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5433095458711104994" border="0" /></a>What? No! No! It can't be!<br /><br /><br /></div></div></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Lazy Eye Theatre - Wandering Film Talk</div>PIPERhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13054305230216613759noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-907928872183762741.post-38287867451593903662010-01-29T07:32:00.000-08:002010-01-29T05:36:38.305-08:00Time To Prepare For The Apocalypse<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2LiO4aApaI/AAAAAAAAD-8/Ch_uLsRzrPE/s1600-h/4horse.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 280px; height: 400px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2LiO4aApaI/AAAAAAAAD-8/Ch_uLsRzrPE/s400/4horse.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5432152845849765282" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">We're all looking for signs of the looming Apocalypse. Floods. Earthquakes. Locusts. A McDonalds french fry in the like-ness of Jesus that's crying. But I want to point you to some other undeniable signs that in fact tell us the Apocalypse is no longer in the future. It is right around the corner, at a stop light, sending a text message that says "be there in just a sec :)"<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);font-size:180%;" >Sign #1</span>: Sandra Bullock wins a Golden Globe for her role in <span style="font-style: italic;">The Blind Side</span> and could possibly be nominated for an Oscar and could possibly win. The queen of forgettable Rom-Com up for an Oscar? Wha? It hasn't happened yet. YET! But it could.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);font-size:180%;" >Sign #2</span> Tim Burton to head the Cannes Jury. Wait, is there another Tim Burton I don't know about? You mean The Lousy Remake King Tim Burton whose last truly good film was <span style="font-style: italic;">Ed Wood</span>, that Tim Burton? The same.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);font-size:180%;" >Sign #3</span> James Cameron has once again hoodwinked everyone into thinking that just because he's a technical genius, he can actually write and direct actors and now he's a lock to sweep the Oscars with <span style="font-style: italic;">Avatar</span>, a technically wonderful film but certainly not the best picture of the year. Or any year for that matter.<br /><br />These are the signs, my dear friends. They are there, staring you right in the face and they cannot be ignored. The world's gone crazy! But fear not, Piper at Lazy Eye Theatre is here to help you not only prepare but survive the inevitable end of the world.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">Throughout the entire month of February, I will be posting tips to help you cope with all this batshit craziness.</span><br /><br />SPREAD THE WORD! AND CHECK BACK OFTEN!<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Lazy Eye Theatre - Wandering Film Talk</div>PIPERhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13054305230216613759noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-907928872183762741.post-88148429464332941892010-01-28T01:07:00.000-08:002010-01-28T09:28:51.940-08:00Welcome to Piper's Kreativ! Korner<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2HI6DB9OPI/AAAAAAAAD-0/jsYqju9iZHM/s1600-h/Kreativ.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 135px; height: 150px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S2HI6DB9OPI/AAAAAAAAD-0/jsYqju9iZHM/s400/Kreativ.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5431843525157009650" border="0" /></a><br />Hello and welcome. My name is Piper and this is my store called Kreativ! Korner... see, even the name is Kreativ. I'm always being praised for being Kreativ. Just the other day I wore two completely different colored socks and someone called me Kreativ! for it. Actually, they mumbled something to someone while my back was turned and then that person and the person next to them got a really good chuckle. I couldn't understand what they said, but it had to be something like "man alive, that guy is Kreativ!"<br /><br />Anyway, please take a moment and look at my Krazy Kreativ! Krafts section where you'll find a plethora of hand-made ashtrays that also double as a great candy dish (see, that's me being Kreativ! again). Then there's also my handwoven bibs, made from real human hair! And my six finger mittens. Use that extra finger to store a tissue!<br /><br />Then there's also my Kreativ! Korner Korner or as I like to call it Kreativ! Korner Squared, where you can go and record yourself saying something really Kreativ!, like "why can't the sky be purple?" or "I think there should be a new language and I'm going to make up that language right now in Piper's Kreativ! Korner Korner because I feel Kreativ." But please refrain from saying things about me personally, like the way I dress, or how I keep my hair, or my personal hygene. Let's keep it positiv. See how I left the "e" off that? Kreativ!<br /><br />Anyway, like I said earlier. People are always saying I'm Kreativ! Just the past few days a couple of people gave me this great award. Greg at the always something or other <a style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);" href="http://cinemastyles.blogspot.com/">Cinema Styles</a> and Jason Soto at the incredibly fill in the blank <a style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);" href="http://invasionofthebmovies.blogspot.com/">Invasion of The B Movies</a>. I've already used random objects around the house to make a frame for it so I can hang it on my wall. Random objects to make a frame? Who does that? Mr. Kreativ!, that's who.<br /><br />Anyway, so as part of receiving this award, I need to give up seven things about me. And those seven things are, of course, going to be about how Kreativ! I am. Ready?<br /><br />1. I grow hair on my chin so that I look Kreativ!<br /><br />2. I wear only funky and hard to find glasses.<br /><br />3. Sometimes I spell my name ParstvxwnlYr with the rsvxwnlY and r being silent.<br /><br />4. I am suspicious of everyone and I have a very low self esteem.<br /><br />5. I look really bad in nice clothes.<br /><br />6. I took French in High School instead of something practical like Spanish.<br /><br />7. I always wear black, even though I look better in forest green.<br /><br />Now I have to tag some people.<br /><br />1. Rick at <a style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);" href="http://coosacreek.org/mambo/">Coosa Creek Cinema</a><br /><br />2. Ric at <a href="http://filmforthesoul.blogspot.com/">Film For The Soul</a><br /><br />And anyone else whose name is Rick or Ric who runs a movie blog, consider yourself tagged by me because I'm Kreativ! and that's how I roll.<div class="blogger-post-footer">Lazy Eye Theatre - Wandering Film Talk</div>PIPERhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13054305230216613759noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-907928872183762741.post-62685688336188652542010-01-21T06:03:00.000-08:002010-01-21T06:08:52.205-08:00Nathanial At Film Experience Has Asked Me OverI'll be a guest over at <a style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);" href="http://filmexperience.blogspot.com/">Film Experience Blog</a> for the next few days. It's not like Nathanial really asked me. My car broke down and it was rainy and I knocked on his door and well, he's not here right now because his fridge is completely not prepared for me so I've sent him to the grocery store to stock up on Oreos and whatnot. So stop by because I'm throwing a real rager over here and Nat is completely cool with you dumping your cigarette butts in his really nice vases.<div class="blogger-post-footer">Lazy Eye Theatre - Wandering Film Talk</div>PIPERhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13054305230216613759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-907928872183762741.post-18493069896144457522010-01-19T11:20:00.000-08:002010-01-19T13:03:45.657-08:00Up In The Air<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S1YdxPEU2jI/AAAAAAAAD-k/PtyqvrVSQ4Q/s1600-h/AVT-up_in_the_air_jpg_595x325_crop_upscale_q85.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 359px; height: 195px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_eXgMFcBgG_g/S1YdxPEU2jI/AAAAAAAAD-k/PtyqvrVSQ4Q/s320/AVT-up_in_the_air_jpg_595x325_crop_upscale_q85.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5428559132537182770" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">When a few people told me about <span style="font-style: italic;">Up In The Air,</span> they described it as "too timely" and "depressing." So I took a risk in seeing it by myself. I'm currently on the road and when I see a movie either in my room or in a movie theater, I am usually depressed. Even the funniest movie finds some way to depress me, because... well, ultimately I'm alone. There is no one to talk to, to find common ground with, to disagree with. No one. I will admit, there's comfort in being alone, it's why <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Clooney's</span> character Ryan <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Bingham</span> loved flying so much. I take extreme comfort in watching a movie on the plane by myself. For some reason, I do not feel the same way about watching a movie on the plane as I do in a hotel room or a movie theater while I'm on the road. I think it has to do with the fact that I usually fly with a group of people that I can talk to when we land. Whether or not they're interested in the movie I've just seen is another story. When I watch a movie on the plane, there are no kids who want my attention. No chores to be done. No clothes to be folded. No dog to be let out. It's just me and my little monitor and my bag of peanuts and my small serving of soda.<br /><br />I myself am a frequent flier. Certainly not to the extent of Ryan, but I fly enough to be able to tell you that you don't put your shoes in the gray tray as Ryan did. That's a big no-no because it leaves the tray dirty. The security people don't care, but it's traveler courtesy. And I've flown enough to earn an A-List ranking with Southwest which means that I get to skip the long lines and I'm automatically checked in to every flight with an A boarding status. I take pride in the way I pack my backpack so that I know where everything is come time to unload it and reload it on the security belt. Why does this matter? Why does Southwest A-List status matter? Because it means I have to deal with fewer people. It means that I go in shorter lines which means less human contact. Our lives are filled with things that make it easy to avoid <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">eachother</span>. E-mail, Twitter, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Facebook</span>, Voicemail, automated voices. They describe it as "being connected", but in an effort to be in the "know" we've lost contact with <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">eachother</span>. Where <span style="font-style: italic;">Up In The Air</span> is timely has less to do with the current state of our economy and more to do with the fact that we've all become comfortable with being alone. With being anonymous. With being void of any true emotional connection. One of the greatest lines in Up In The Air, is also one of the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">simplist</span>. When Ryan's boss Craig Gregory (Jason <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Batemen</span>) tells him that Natalie (Anna Kendrick) has just quit, Ryan says "you should call her."<br /><br />If you have any kind of history with this blog, you know that I was not a big fan of <span style="font-style: italic;">Juno,</span> because it was too caught up in <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Diablo</span> Cody's witty dialogue to feel real to me. But where I feel <span style="font-style: italic;">Juno</span> missed, <span style="font-style: italic;">Up In The Air</span> completely hits. As far as I can tell, this is a near flawless film that will surely be missed come Academy time because of the shock and awe that is <span style="font-style: italic;">Avatar</span>, which is truly a shame, because it is a complete movie, deftly written and directed by Jason <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">Reitman</span>.<br /><br />I didn't find this movie depressing. Or too timely. Instead I felt uplifted by it (no pun intended). Glad to be married. Glad to have children. Glad to have all the things to stick in my backpack and haul around, no matter how much it hurt to hold it up. My alone moments on the plane watching my movie, or sitting in front of my computer in my quiet hotel room writing this piece are rich for me, because unlike Ryan, I know that I have so much waiting for me when my plane finally lands. This movie made me happy to be alive and if that's not worth high praise, then I don't know what is. <br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Lazy Eye Theatre - Wandering Film Talk</div>PIPERhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13054305230216613759noreply@blogger.com14