The Simple Genius Of Ralph

To simply dismiss Ralph Wiggum as dumb is unfair. There's more to Ralph than that. Because the truth is, "dumb" done as simply "dumb" is not funny. It's annoying. Ralph is not simply dumb. It's one thing to say something tastes bad. It's another to say it tastes like burning. There's thought there. Complex thought. Maybe the words don't get strung together as they normally do, or whole sections of thought may be skipped, but there's something going on in that head of Ralph Wiggums. And I like it.

As my entry for the Simpsons Blog-a-Thon going on at Esoteric Rabbit, I present to you my most favorite quotes by Ralph Wiggum.

"Hi Super Nintendo Chalmers."

"This is my sandbox. I'm not allowed to go in the deep end."

"Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me."

"Eww, Daddy, this tastes like Gramma."

"I made Bart in my pants."


"My cat's breath smells like cat food."

"I'm wearing a bathrobe, and I'm not even sick."

"I bent my wookie."

"It tastes like... burning."

"Then the doctor told me that both my eyes were lazy and that's why it was the best
summer ever."


"Mrs. Hoover, I glued my head to my shoulder."

"Oh boy, sleep! That's where I'm a Viking."

"Principal Skinner, I got car sick in your office."

"That's where I saw the Leprechan. He tells me to burn things."

"And I want a bike and a monkey and a friend for the monkey."


"Even my boogers are spicy!"

"Lisa's dancing makes my feet sad."

"Wheeee! ...ow, I bit my tongue."

"I found a moon rock in my nose."