Credit Mayhem 2

Panic Room




The tone that the credits set: Distant and creepy. There's something very ominous about the type against the large buildings. The enormity of the settings and the type coupled with the ominous score is unsettling. One wonders if there was flowery music underneath, how that would change the feeling of these opening credits. Rank: 9

Do the credits help tell the story: No and there isn't really any reason to. It's a simple story and the title gives away a lot already. I suppose if Fincher wanted to he could have featured renderings of the security measures taken when creating a panic room, but then he might risk copying from himself. Rank: 7

The technique used: Ornate type is placed alongside giant buildings in Manhattan, as if the type is part of the buildings themselves. It's simple and striking. Rank: 9

Is it style over substance (does the technique get in the way of delivering the credits): The cuts area bit too fast at times and the perspective of the type at times may limit the readability but I doubt either of these matter on the big screen which this was designed for. Rank: 8

Overall Ranking: 8.25

The Shining



The tone that the credits set: There's dread in these mountains. No doubt that Kubrick lays it on thick and he starts early with the credits. The tone is not set with the credits so much as the opening score. It tells the viewer that nothing is safe. Even beautiful mountain views. Rank: 8

Do the credits help tell the story: Kind of. The credits run over the opening action as Jack and the family drive the winding roads on the way to The Overlook Hotel. Rank: 7

The technique used: The credits run more as closing credits, scrolling down through the screen rather than fading in and out. There's a no-nonsense approach to these credits as if Kubrick wants to get them out of the way, yet they are very memorable. Rank: 8

Is it style over substance: Hardly. While the shots are striking, they don't take away from the credits and the credits are big and bold and right there for everyone to see. Rank: 8

Overall Ranking: 7.75


To Kill A Mockingbird



The tone that the credits set: Innocent and playful, like a child introducing you to his room. The camera highlights different things within the cigar box as if each one represented a peak behind a new curtain. Rank: 9

Do the credits help tell the story: A little. The entire movie is told from the perspective of Scout, so it helps that the movie begins to set that premise through random objects that Scout has collected. Rank: 8

The technique used: Beautiful cinematography. When looking at it today, the photography is brilliant, so when you think that this was shot over 40 years ago, it makes it that much more beautiful. Rank: 10

Is it style over substance (does the technique get in the way of delivering the credits): No. The entire sequence is graceful, slowly fading in-between shots and the simple white credits fit in nicely with that. Rank: 8

Overall Ranking: 8.75


My Best Friends Wedding



The tone that the credits set: There was a time when you kind of knew what to expect with a Julia Roberts movie. It was rather formulaic and on the surface this movie proves to be just another predictable outing. But the truth is, this is a different movie. A strangely quirky one that's a lot of fun along the way. These credits are along those line. Fun and different. Rank: 8

Do the credits help tell the story: A little bit. The song tells the viewer that when you find a man you love, you have to hold on to him and show him that you care. That tips the hat to the story of My Best Friend's Wedding being that Julia Roberts wants to tell her best friend Dermot Mulroney that she is in love with him. Rank: 7

The technique used: Live performance, is that a technique? I would say yes. Otherwise, the type is a fun yellow script against a pink background - which is to say that it's nothing terribly special. But the live performance takes it up a couple of notches. Rank: 8

Is it style over substance: The credits could suffer a bit due to the singing grabbing all the attention, but I would say that mostly that the credits and performance compliment eachother quite nicely. Rank: 8

Overall Ranking: 7.75


Dawn Of The Dead



The tone that the credits set: At first scary and then somewhat ironic when Cash chimes in with "When The Man Comes Around." Great song, but it lets the audience off the hook. To me Snyder should have gone with straight fright here. Rank: 7

Do the credits help tell the story: Yes, with random cuts of news stories and rabid zombies, the credits help tell the story of the outbreak and the mystery surrounding it. It's a nice placement as well, introducing the credits right after the opening scene where all hell begins to break loose. Rank: 10

The technique used: Random shots of chaos on video provides the background which is interesting, but nothing really new. The type treatment on the other hand is excellent. The titles appear on screen and then scatter from the screen as if alive. It's a nice reinforcement that what we're dealing with here is a really nasty epidemic. Rank: 10

Is it style over substance (does the technique get in the way of delivering the credits): It's a little ADD with all the cuts, but the technique used to deliver the type keeps your attention focused where it needs to be. Rank: 8

Overall Ranking: 8.75


Catch Me If You Can



The tone that the credits set: Intriguing fun. The structure of these credits is not unlike the opening to a Pink Panther movie, yet it's not as playful. There's still a sense that danger lurks somewhere and that more is at stake. Rank: 9

Do the credits help tell the story: Not really, but they help tell the general premise of the story which is the cat and mouse pursuit between DiCaprio and Hanks. Rank: 8

The technique used: Simple animation that is at once progressive and then an homage past credit sequences. Spielberg is a lover of films and it shows in these credits. Rank: 10

Is it style over substance: To me this is the perfect balance of style and substance. The animation is intriguing and the introduction of each credit is seamless within the animation. It's like witnessing a perfect machine. Everything works as it should and it moves forward. Rank: 10

Overall Ranking: 9.25


Twin Peaks




The tone that the credits set: These credits make me want to take a nap, which is exactly what Lynch and Frost were going for. But Badalamenti's score suggests that somethings a miss, which it is. What's you're left with is a sleepy town that's creeping with miles and miles of bad road. Rank: 8

Do the credits help tell the story: Yes. They help set up the town in which everything takes place. The shots of the lumber yard and the blades being sharpened is almost comical in its monotony which is very much the tone of the show. If I could make a suggestion, I would ask for more shots of the sleepy town. Rank: 8

The technique used: No technique here and no need for it. Rank: 8

Is it style over substance (does the technique get in the way of delivering the credits): No fear of saw blades being sharpened overtaking green type on the screen. Especially after repeat viewing every week. Rank: 8

Overall Ranking: 8

Credit Mayhem Part 1

On the surface opening credits are nothing more than a vehicle to deliver the mandatory information. With a straight delivery of credits the only excitement that can be drummed up is from the action going on behind the credits (if there is any at all) or from the names themselves. Still there are some movies who choose to make more of a statement in the opening credits. To use the credits as an opportunity to set a tone for the entire movie. To me, not dressing up the opening credits is like going to a party without a really cool hat. Sure no one will notice if you don't wear the cool hat, but if you were to wear the really cool hat, people would say that it's a nice addition.

There are lots of great credit sequences out there and I've only highlighted a few. This is not meant to be a "best of" just a random sampling. I will judge these opening credits as all opening credits should be judged: The tone that the credits set, do the credits help tell a story, the technique used, and is it style over substance (does the technique get in the way of delivering the credits).

North By Northwest



The tone that the credits set: From the moment that the lines are drawn and Bernard Hermann's fantastic score kicks in, you get the feeling that this movie is going to move at a frantic pace. And North By Northwest delivers. Rank: 8

Do the credits help tell the story: While the credits definitely help set the tone, they don't really fold into the story. But in their defense, I will say that they don't need to. North By Northwest's strength is in its ability to throw you into the middle of the story. So while the credits may not give any backstory, they do their job perfectly. Rank 7

The technique used: The opening is simple enough with bright colors and architectural-like renderings, but as the credits go on, the lines give way to a live-action skyscraper. What's interesting in the presentation is that the type retains the same perspective as the building giving the illusion that the credits are actually appearing on the side of a building. I wasn't alive in 1959, but I have to believe that technique was pretty damn advanced for the time and it's still impressive today. Rank 9

Is it style over substance (does the technique get in the way of delivering the credits): Not one bit. The frantic-ness of the music and design and the the perspective of the type never takes away from the presentation of the credits. Rank 9

Overall Ranking: 8.25

300



The tone that the credits set: This is kind of an odd selection because these opening credits actually come at the end of the film so it's hard to say that they help set a tone for the film. What I will say is that these credits compliment the comic book-like violence that filled the movie. Rank: 9

Do the credits help tell the story: No doubt everyone went to see 300 because of non-stop killing and these credits help tell the story of a series of great battles with lots and lots of blood. Rank: 8

The technique used: What appears to be layers and layers of different silhouetted stills. The technique is very now and in the moment. As a milestone for technology, I think this is very good, but as an example for the ages, I don't believe so. Rank: 8

Is it style over substance: I feel sorry for the people listed in these credits because they will be lost to splattering blood and non-stop camera moves. Rank: 5

Overall Ranking: 7.5

Seven



The tone that the credits set: Evil, that's the tone. Random images flash on and off the screen and scenes go in and out of focus. The entire sequence is shot like some kind of illegal film that you shouldn't be seeing. I remember seeing these credits and wanting to leave the theater because I didn't believe I was mentally prepared for what lay before me. Rank: 10

Do the credits help tell the story: Once you've seen the film, the credits make perfect sense in giving us shades of the diabolical killer at the center of the movie. Rank: 9

The technique used: As with most of Fincher's work, these credits are a nice melding of new and old techniques. You never feel as if you're watching something that was born from a computer although it may have been. It feels as if it were shot by an amateur in the basement somewhere and the titles were literally scratched into the film. Rank: 9

Is it style over substance: Not at all. The credits work seamlessly with the overall design yet they don't blend in so well that you don't pay attention to them. The flicker technique also helps to bring attention to them. Overall, this is a nice execution that works well with the film and also stands alone as just a really creepy Nine Inch Nails video. Rank: 9

Overall Ranking: 9.25

Goodfellas



The tone that the credits set: The flyby technique used to present each credit seems somewhat random, but it flows nicely with the opening car scene. The truth is, the opening scene that's sandwiched in these credits is so powerful you could shoot kids handwriting on a kitchen table and that would suffice. Instead, they gave an interesting treatment to credits without making them so interesting as to take away from the opening. Rank: 7

Do the credits help tell the story: The credits bookend the opening vignette that ends with Henry Hill's famous line "as far back as I can remember, I've always wanted to be a gangster." That vignette in a nutshell is mob life and the credits do their job by providing some space before and after to give that scene the weight it needs. So I would say that while the credits are somewhat straightforward, they help in setting up the movie. Rank: 7

The technique used: A Scorsese film will always err on the more classic side as these credits do. There's nothing flashy about them, but they have always stuck with me. I like the moving technique and for some reason or another it seems to work with the entire film. The credits zooming through the screen makes sense. Rank: 9

Is it style over substance: The general presentation of the credits does not take away anything, however I can't say the same for the opening scene. After multiple viewings, the opening doesn't seem as shocking as it once did which gives you ample time to take in the credits. But upon viewing for the first time, my guess is that the entire second part of the credits were lost on most of the audience. Rank: 8

Overall Ranking: 7.75

The Naked Gun



The tone that the credits set: Get ready for ridiculous fun. That's the tone that's set. And let me just say I'm embarrassed that I just wrote the phrase ridiculous fun. Rank: 9

Do the credits help tell the story: As far as comedy goes, there's not a deep story here to tell so the answer is no. But for this type of movie, you're not really looking for the credits to do much. The fact that they are a funny bit in and of themselves is a real treat. Rank: 7

The technique used: No doubt a small hood with a police siren on top is attached to the camera. Nothing fancy, but there's no need for fancy when you've got a good solid idea - which this is. Rank: 10

Is it style over substance: Not terribly. The credits are front and center. I will say with the environments constantly changing, the credits seem more like a nuisance than anything which is probably a bad thing. Rank: 8

Overall Ranking: 8.5

Halloween




The tone that the credits set: It's hard to tell on this. Let's say I were to go back and kill the brain cells that remember Halloween and this opening and I were to see it again and had no preconceived notion of this movie, would I think that this opening credit sequence was spooky? Good question. But since I do know what I know I will say that there's creepiness in simplicity. Never before and possibly never again will a simple jack-o-lantern be so terrifying. Of course the music helps a lot. Rank: 9

Do the credits help tell the story: No real story to tell here. It's more important to set expectations with atmosphere which is exactly what this does. Rank: 7

The technique used: A simple push in on a jack-o-lantern. Very simple and very effective. Rank: 8

Is it style over substance: Absolutely not. The tone is set but it takes nothing away from the big and bold credits that run on the right side of the screen. Rank: 9

Overall Ranking: 8.25

Want more Mayhem? Check out Chase Mayhem, Fight Mayhem Part 1, Monologue Mayhem and Montage Mayhem.

Monologue Mayhem

If a character is written and directed properly, there are many layers to that character. And as it relates to film making techniques, there are many ways to peel that character to reveal his/her substance. In a conversation with a friend. In a confrontation with an enemy. A reaction to a certain situation. And sometimes if the actor's really got some chops, a simple look can says volumes. And then there's the monologue. The coveted scene. A surefire way to perk the ears of peers and get the pens of critics writing sentence after sentence of praise. Of course audiences love them too. And all of this is under the assumption that the monologue is written well, directed well and performed lights out.

Below, I have assembled a selection of monologues through the years. This is not meant to be a best of list, nor even a list of my favorites. Just a sampling. And a very one-sided one at that. There seems to be a great void as it relates to female monologues. I will judge these as all monologues should be judged: The length of the monologue, the impact of the monologue as it relates to the character and the story, and the best line of the monologue.

Mr. Smith Goes To Washington



The Length Of The Monologue: About 1 minute and 45 seconds. Jimmy Stewart makes his point on the floors of Washington without getting too preachy. And that's really saying something. Rank 8

The Impact Of The Monologue: Up until the filibuster Jefferson Smith is seen as a sweet Boy Scout. Then the gloves come off and we discover that Jefferson Smith isn't the simpleton we thought, making him a serious contender in Washington. Rank 9

The Delivery Of The Monologue: By now Jimmy is hoarse from talking all day from the filibuster. He's a bit overly dramatic, but the sincerity and desperation come through loud and clear and you can't help but love him and his performance. Rank 8

Best Line Of The Monologue: "You fight for the lost causes harder than any others." Rank 9

Overall Rank: 8.5


The 25th Hour



The Length Of The Monologue: Slightly over 5 minutes. It seems long but Edward Norton's monologue to himself is riveting and further proves that Spike Lee is an equal opportunity filmmaker. If he hates, he hates all the sides and let's you sort it all out yourself. Rank: 8

The Impact Of The Monologue: This is where Edward Norton's character comes to the realization that he is to blame. It's not unique that a character has an epiphany like this, but still it's well done. Rank: 7

The Delivery Of The Monologue: Norton is the perfect character for this type of monologue. Angry and a bit whiny. But you have to like angry and a bit whiny. Rank: 7

Best Line Of The Monologue: Lots of good lines. Depending on your hot button, take your pick. But nothing of real note. Rank: 6

Overall Rank: 7


Patton




The Length Of The Monologue: Five minutes. I'm not going to lie, this could have used a little trimming, but are you going to tell Patton to get off the stage? Rank: 7

The Impact Of The Monologue: In those five minutes, Patton proves why he was one of the finest military leaders the United States has ever seen. Tell me you wouldn't follow that guy into battle. Rank: 8

The Delivery Of The Monologue: Stoic and mean, George C. Scott takes his time punching some lines and breezing through others. His gravely voice is perfect for this dialogue. Rank: 9

Best Line Of The Monologue: "When you put your hand into a bunch of goo, that a moment before was your best friend's face... you'll know what to do." Rank: 10

Overall Rank: 8.5


Glengarry Glen Ross




The Length Of The Monologue: Almost 7 minutes. Not short, but sweet as hell. Rank: 8

The Impact Of The Monologue: We no nothing more about Baldwin's character then from this monologue so it offers us no true insights. He may be an actual sweetheart to his wife and kids, but he's a no-nonsense ass-kicking business man here. But there's something to his ambiguity. Rank: 8

The Delivery Of The Monologue: Few can masterfully deliver Mamet's writing style and Alec Baldwin is one of those few. And few have made such an impact with so little screen time. This monologue and this performance is unforgettable. Rank: 10

Best Line Of The Monologue: "Fuck you, that's my name. You know why mister? Because you drove a Hyundai to get here tonight, I drove an eighty thousand dollar BMW, that's my name." Rank: 9

Overall Rank: 8.75


Jaws




The Length Of The Monologue: Three and a half minutes. Just enough time to tell a story so frightening, it sobers Hooper and Chief Brody instantly. But in looking at it again, it feels a tad on the long side. Rank: 7

The Impact Of The Monologue: In case you were wondering why Quint has such a prickly shell, this story my help explain it. It also helps explain why he might be a little obsessive when it comes to hunting down sharks. Rank: 9

The Delivery Of The Monologue: Shaw delivers this without emotion as if almost in a trance. He's just drunk enough to tell a sea story he wouldn't tell sober. Rank: 8

Best Line Of The Monologue: "So eleven hundred men went into the water, three hundred and sixteen men come out and the sharks took the rest, June 29th, 1945." Rank: 10

Overall Rank: 8.5


Network




The Length Of The Monologue: Three minutes and forty seconds. A good time for an opening monologue. I wonder what he and the producers had planned if he didn't pass out on stage? Rank: 8

The Impact Of The Monologue: These rants of Howard Beale's have made him an overnight superstar. But instead of being seen as a prophet delivering a warning, it's just viewed as a new form of entertainment. Rank: 8

The Delivery Of The Monologue: Peter Finch screams his warnings as he stomps around the stage. He is big and boisterous and his delivery fits in perfectly with what the audience wants, but it's laced with a true warning not from a mad man, but someone who is truly desperate. He knows he's seen as a freak, but he's at his end, so it doesn't matter. Rank: 9

Best Line Of The Monologue: "Television is not the truth. Television is a goddamn amusement park. Television is a circus. A carnival. A traveling troupe of acrobats, storytellers, dancers, singers, jugglers, side-show freaks, lion-tamers and football players." Rank: 10

Overall Rank: 8.75


Love and Death




The Length Of The Monologue: Around one minute and 20 seconds. Woody is wonderful but in small doses and one minute and 20 seconds is just about right. Rank: 8

The Impact Of The Monologue: Boris tries to summarize what he's learned and he seems at peace with his closure. As much at peace as Woody Allen can be. Rank: 7

The Delivery Of The Monologue: Nothing new here. Woody looking into the camera and stammering about the meaning of life. But this is classic Woody, at a time before he took himself too seriously. Rank: 7

Best Line Of The Monologue: "The key here is to not think of death as an end, but think of it more as a very effective way of cutting down on your expenses." Rank: 9

Overall Rank: 7.75


Blade Runner




The Length Of The Monologue: Around a minute. Short and surprisingly poignant. I am always in awe of how good Blade Runner is and how even now it elevates the Sci-Fi genre to something more. But still, it's pretty short. Rank: 7

The Impact Of The Monologue: Up until this point, Roy Batty seemed like a crazy computer hell-bent on killing everyone. The replicas wanted to prove they were like humans and nothing is more human than the mercy that Roy shows Dekard. Rank: 9

The Delivery Of The Monologue: I might argue that this is Rutger Hauer's finest minute on film. He delivers this perfectly, trying to fight back being shut down so that he can get in these last few sentences. Rank: 8

Best Line Of The Monologue: "I have seen things you people wouldn't believe." Rank: 9

Overall Rank: 8.25

Vacation




The Length Of The Monologue: About 40 seconds. A man at the end of his rope needs no more time. Rank: 8

The Impact Of The Monologue: Clark is a flake and a kook, so this small monologue does not give us any more peek into his character. Rank: 5

The Delivery Of The Monologue: Chevy Chase does a good job capturing how crazy a father can get when he sets out to make sure everyone has the time of their lives. The writing does the heavy lifting and he delivers it beautifully. Rank: 9

Best Line Of The Monologue: "We're all going to have so much fucking fun, we're going to need plastic surgery to remove our goddamn smiles." Rank: 10

Overall Rank: 8

True Romance




The Length Of The Monologue: Slightly over three minutes. A good amount of time to get in one last insult just before dying. Rank: 8

The Impact Of The Monologue: Clifford Worley seems a simple man living in a simple trailer, but this monologue suggests a more daring side. It's obvious that Clifford is going to die, but instead of going out with a whimper, he goes out blazing. Rank: 8

The Delivery Of The Monologue: Dennis Hopper is a master and it's nice to watch him deliver lines of dialogue that aren't being shouted at the top of his lungs. Despite his looming death, Hopper takes his time to get in one last dig. Rank: 8

Best Line Of The Monologue: "If that's a fact, tell me am I lying? Because you, you're part eggplant." Rank: 9

Overall Rank: 8.25

Chase Mayhem

Somebody's always running away from something or running toward something.

That's the chase.

Love it or hate it, movies got 'em. And have had them for a long, long time. And as is always the case in movies, the more different the chase, or the bigger the chase the better. So cinema history has shown us a good many different ways to engage in a chase. On foot, in car, in boat, in the air, on lightcycle, in spaceship, and probably anything else you can imagine. The weirder the better it seems. Although I will say that the recent chase scene in the opening of Casino Royale gives me faith that classic chase scenes are still alive and doing quite well thanks to a good script and proper direction.

All good action movies have some kind of a chase in them. A good guy chasing a bad guy, a bad guy chasing an innocent guy, a bad guy chasing a badder guy. All good romance movies involve a chase between a man and a woman, or a woman and a man, and if we're really lucky a woman and a woman. And all good horror movies involve a chase of some kind. Usually someone running away from something scary into something scarier.

There are lots of chases and I've highlighted a few and judged them as all good chases should be judged: What kind of chase is it, the setting of the chase, the length of the chase, and the enormity of the chase and the big finish.


The Blues Brothers



What kind of chase: A car chase involving several cop cars. Not incredibly original. But the fact that the Blues Brothers are driving a cop car making it cop on cop action takes it up a notch. Rank: 7

Setting of the chase: The streets of Chicago and then inside a mall. The mall is good. Rank: 9

The length of the chase: About 5 minutes. The chase is so fun, the time flies. Rank: 7

The enormity of the chase: Did I mention it was in a mall? Retail gets scattered everywhere and hundreds run for cover as The Blues Brothers wreak havoc. Rank: 8

Best chase quote: "They're not going to catch us, we're on a mission from God." Rank: 9

The big finish: The Blues Brothers get away and leave the mall through a display window of JC Penny. Did I mention they were in a mall? Rank: 8

Overall rank: 8


Tron



What kind of chase: Actually a race involving lightcycles in a parallel universe that exists inside our computers. Jeff Daniels is being chased down by the MCP and is making him play games in hopes that he will die. Rank: 8

Setting of the chase: Inside a computer somewhere. A giant green grid surrounded by large walls and heavily guarded by big machines. The computer generated animation over live action was breakthrough for the time and still is amazing to watch. Rank: 9

Length of the chase: The race runs only about a minute long and they escape the grid and get chased by tanks. It all only lasts a couple minutes, which is the perfect amount of time. Any longer would seem self-indulgent. Rank: 8

Enormity of the chase: Three programs die in the process and Jeff Daniels sends a shock wave rattling the MCPs circuits. Rank: 6

Best chase quote: "Wow". Wow indeed. Rank: 7

The big finish: They win the race and get away. No big fireworks. Rank: 6

Overall rank: 7.3


Moonraker



What kind of chase: Parachutes and hang gliding. After fleeing a plane, Bond (sans parachute) is chasing after the pilot in pursuit of his parachute, while being chased by Jaws who of course wants to bite his neck. While a mess of a bond movie, this opening chase scene is fantastic. Rank: 10

Setting of the chase: The air, baby. Nothing above and the hard ground below. Rank: 8

Length of the chase: The actual chase is only a couple of minutes. As cool and original as this chase is, it isn't long enough and the coverage is lousy due to the bad double for Roger Moore. Rank: 6

Enormity of the chase: Not big at all. This chase really affects no one besides I guess the birds. Rank: 4

Best chase quote: "Any higher Mr. Bond, my ears will pop." Classic cheesy Bond. Not really a fan of the cute talk: Rank: 6

Big finish: Jaws tries to bite Bond's leg, Bond pulls the parachute cord leaving Jaws tumbling towards the earth. Jaws' cord fails and he goes plummeting into a circus tent. Whah, whah, whah. Rank: 3

Overall rank: 6.1


Silence Of The Lambs


What kind of chase: On foot between Starling and Buffalo Bill. No running, just a cat and mouse where you expect Bill around every corner. This is a creepy creepy scene. Rank: 8

Setting of the chase: The labyrinth of rooms in Bill's basement where it seems that every door that Starling opens exposes a new horror. Rank: 10

Length of the chase: About six minutes which seems like six hours because it's so damn creepy. You want it that long and don't want it that long all at the same time. Rank: 9

Enormity of the chase: This affects every big boned woman in America who is afraid that their skin is one day going to be used to make a nice suit for Bill. This is America's most wanted man so the impact of getting him dead or behind bars is big. Rank: 8

Best chase quote: "Catherine Martin? F.B.I. you're safe." Don't you believe it. Rank: 7

Big finish: As if the tension wasn't enough, Bill shuts out the lights and puts on night vision goggles and suddenly we go from Foster's P.O.V. to that of Bills as he gets ready to attack her. It is a truly terrifying scene to see the terror on Clarice's face as she tries to figure out where Bill is in the room. Finally, a glimmer of the glasses shows up and Clarice squeezes off round after round until Bill is on the ground. And you still don't feel safe. Rank: 10

Overall rank: 8.6


Raising Arizona




Kind of chase: On foot and in the car and on foot again and in the car again. It's not terribly original, but the alternating is fun. Rank: 7

Setting of the chase: A surreal life where everybody's packing and isn't afraid to shoot. The chase begins in a quick shop, goes through a grocery store and through a house. It's fun, funny and one hell of a ride. Rank: 8

Length of the chase: The actual chase is a little over five minutes. It covers a lot of settings and a lot of ground. Rank: 7

Enormity of the chase: Hi's bad habits die hard and it stirs quite a pot involving a teenage store employee, the grocery store owner, a bunch of dogs, the local authorities and of course a very pissed off Ed. Rank: 8

Best chase quote: "Son you got a pantie on your head." Rank: 9

Big finish: Hi escapes in the car with Ed and gets away unscathed. It's not a huge finish, but you find yourself trying to catch your breath at the end. Rank: 7

Overall rank: 7.6


The Dead Pool



Kind of chase: It's car versus remote controlled car. Interesting. Rank: 9

Setting of the chase: The streets of San Francisco. Not original but I've never seen cars catch air like this before. Or at least a remote control car catch air like that before Rank: 8

Length of the chase: Around 4 1/2 minutes. Maybe a few too many jumps, but overall a good time. Rank: 7

Enormity of the chase: Callahan disrupts a lot of Bay area people with his crazy driving. And he's supposed to keep the peace. On the flip side, everyone seems to love the remote control car, especially when it jumps some boxes on the sidewalk. Rank: 6

Best chase quote: "Times up Callahan." Rank: 6

The big finish: The remote control car slowly pulls under Callahan's car. Callahan waits and waits and just as it parks under his car, Callahan takes off to avoid the bomb. He succeeds only in saving his skin. His partner dies in the explosion and the bad guy gets away. Rank: 7

Overall rank: 7.1


Road Warrior



What kind of chase: Cars and trucks and motorcycles chasing a tanker. In real life, this would be boring, but this is the future and Mad Max is at the wheel. Rank: 8

Setting of the chase: A post apocalyptic world set in Australia where there's nothing for miles. Rank: 6

Length of the chase: I've only included part of the chase, but it's a long one. Around 15 minutes. It's a great action sequence that deserves all this time it gets. Rank: 8

Enormity of the chase: They're not disturbing anyone but you feel the fate of the future is in the balance with this chase. If the gas gets in the hands of The Humongous, bad things will happen. So this is big. Rank: 8

Best chase quote: No quotes of note, and that's just fine since there are only about 20 lines in the whole movie. Rank: 6

Big finish: About everyone dies, except that Land Of The Lost kid with the boomerang and Mad Max. The tanker is overturned and Mad Max discovers that he was hauling sand this whole time. It's the big double cross and Max was mad already. Now he's really mad. Rank: 10

Overall rank: 7.6


Basic Instinct



What kind of chase: Car chase. Nothing truly original. Rank: 6

Setting of the chase: The mountains of California. The cat and mouse pursuit of Douglas and Stone makes you feel that if Hitchcock were still directing, he would shoot a scene like this. Rank: 10

Length of the chase: About a minute and a half. Short, sweet and intense. Rank: 8

Enormity of the chase: They're not shaking the pillars of heaven, but they are creating a bit of havoc around some afternoon traffic in a pretty treacherous area. Rank: 6

Best chase quote: None. Not really needed. Rank: 5

Big finish: Douglas stays in line with Stone for a while and then almost goes nose to nose with a bus. He decides then to back off a bit and let traffic slow down. Stone gets away. Rank: 6

Overall rank: 6

Montage Mayhem

The average movie lasts around one hour and 50 minutes.

In that hour and 50 minutes, a movie will cover a fair amount of time. Some movies cover hours. Some cover days. Others cover years. And even still there are movies that cover decades. So when you consider that, an hour and 50 minutes isn't a heck of a lot of time. So you need to rely on certain techniques to cover a major chunk of time in only a matter of minutes.

That's where the montage comes in. Sure it's a bit cheesy, but you gotta love what it does. Simple men train to be Gods in only minutes. Insurmountable obstacles are overcome in only seconds. People meet and fall madly in love in no time. Montages make otherwise tedious tasks suddenly palatable. And they do it to some pretty catchy music.

So I've picked a few montages. There are tons more that comes to mind, but I just featured a few here. A few that I will rate based on several criteria. Criteria in which all montages should be judged: the amount of time covered, the task accomplished in that amount of time, the device used to communicate the passage of time, the music, and the big finish.

Team America



Task Accomplished: Gary regains his confidence as he trains in gun shooting and martial arts to kill the terrorists and save Team America. Rank: 8

Amount Of Time Covered: A few weeks, maybe a couples weeks to a month. Rank: 6

Device Used To Show Passage Of Time: At first Gary can't hit squat on the firing range. And he isn't too surefooted when it comes to Kung Fu. But towards the end, he's a dead-eye and as good as Bruce Lee on the mat. Rank: 8

The Music: A brilliant song called of all things "Montage" written by Trey Parker that helps create the best montage spoof on film. Rank: 10

Big Finish: There isn't one climactic shot that helps close the montage, it just kind of fades away. Any other montage would suffer from this, but the combination of the classic montage techniques (training with guns, showing progress) with the music and lest we forget, they're all puppets, makes this montage bullet-proof. Rank: 9

Overall: 8.2


Army Of Darkness



Task Accomplished: With the help of the resident artisan, Ash creates a robotic arm and hand made from a suit of armor. Rank: 7

Amount Of Time Covered: Considering that this movie takes place during 1300 A.D. the ability to create a robot prosthetic hand and arm from a suit of armor should take a year or two. Rank: 9

Device Used To Show Passage Of Time: Ash's girlfriend knits a blanket or a sweater. Was there even such thing as knitting back then? Rank: 8 for the tongue-in-cheekiness of it all.

The Music: No music, but great sound effects. Rank: 7

Big Finish: Once Ash's death grip is complete, he turns a wine goblet to mush, much the the shock and awe of onlookers, then he raises his new hand and says "Groovy." Rank: 10

Overall Rank: 8.2


Karate Kid



Task Accomplished: Daniel-Son fights his way up the ranks of the Karate Tournament. Rank: 6

Amount Of Time Covered: Probably a day or two to cover the length of the karate tournament. Rank: 5

Device Used To Show Passage Of Time: Daniel watching the tournament, gnawing at his finger with complete anxiety. Rank: 8

The Music: The song "You're The Best" performed by Joe Esposito helps us navigate through the montage. It's 80's, it's cheesy and just try getting it out of your head once you hear it. Rank: 9

Big Finish: Daniel starts chipping away at the Cobras and finishes the montage by beating one of the tougher Cobras. Rank: 7

Overall: 7


Rocky III



Task Accomplished: Rocky finds his eye of the tiger again through intense training in the ring and on the beach. Rank: 8

Amount Of Time Covered: 3 to 6 months. Rank: 7

Device Used To Show Passage Of Time: Rocky racing against Apollo Creed on the beach. At first it looks like he's struggling and then towards the end, Rocky takes the lead and beats him. Rank: 7

The Music: Eye Of The Tiger by Survivor. Tell me this doesn't reside somewhere on your iPod or iTunes and maybe even on a workout play list. Sure it's cheesy, but it works. Rank: 10

Big Finish: Rocky beats Apollo on the beach and the two jump up and down for an uncomfortably long time in the water. Rank: 6

Overall: 7.6


Footloose



Task Accomplished: Willard (Christopher Penn) doesn't know how to dance, so he's a bit skittish about the big dance Kevin Bacon has planned. So Kevin makes it his mission to teach Willard how to dance. Rank: 6

Amount Of Time Covered: With the dance not far away Bacon has to make magic in no time. Maybe a week. Rank: 6

Device Used To Show Passage Of Time: Willard has no rhythm. At first, we see Willard unable to even snap right, but after a few scenes of foot stomping, hand pounding and guy on guy dancing scenes, Willard finally seems to get it. Rank: 6

The Music: "Let's Hear It For The Boy" by Deniece Williams. It captures the feel goodness of watching Willard find his internal beat while dancing through high school halls, basketball courts and open wheat fields. Rank: 7

Big Finish: Dressed in cowboy garb, Willard performs a combination of electric slide, disco, break dancing and God knows what else dance moves much to the satisfaction of Kevin Bacon. Rank: 6

Overall: 6.2