Note to Hollywood: Stop the 3s

There's been a lot of talk about Spiderman 3 (weird, isn't it?) and other than the opening weekend grosses, the word is not good. The criticism in general is that it's obvious that the movie had nothing new to offer which is why it piled the villains so high. And even after that, it still had nothing new to offer. The first movie sets the characters. The second movie further develops relationships and characters. And the third? And the third? The third is more of the same. And in most cases even more of more of the same.

So that begs the question. Should there even be a third? Superman 3 anyone? Anyone? And how about X-Men 3? Or Matrix Revolutions? Or Alien 3? Or Terminator 3? Or Batman Forever? Or Godfather Part III? It's all the same shit, just dressed differently. Of course there are exceptions, but based on history (and aren't we supposed to learn from it?) you probably shouldn't be putting a 3 on the end of your movie anytime soon. Even Bond has to have a face-lift every few years or so to keep him interesting. And yet I worry about the future of the Batman franchise because Batman Begins is about as good as it gets in my eyes, so it will be interesting to see what future challenges that franchise faces.

But to me this is a hopeful dilemma because it means that audiences are craving more from their movies. That stories do matter. That characters do matter. That CG action and big explosions are not enough anymore. Audiences want something they can grasp and relate to.

But alas, I say this in the giant wake that is the 148 Million opening weekend of Spiderman 3, so we can probably expect that 4, 5 and 6 are currently being penned and somewhere in the darkness, Joel Schumacher is licking his chops.

1 + 2 = Spidey 3

So I saw Spiderman 3 last night with my son and about an hour and 15 minutes in, my son started asking how much time was left in the movie. That's when I knew we were in trouble.

I can't say I really liked or really hated it. What I will say is that I think the franchise should be over. I'm sure that will fall on the deaf ears of Sony because after this weekend, those ears will be crammed with money, but no matter the gross, I think that Spiderman is done. Or at least should be done if they want to end it on a good note.

I left the theater with nothing new from this one. I know the characters. I know what Spiderman can and can't do. The only thing new is the villain and how Spiderman defeats him (and it's obvious they're getting desperate in that department since Spiderman was faced with not one but three villains). It's like watching Friday The 13th to see what new and different gardening tool Jason is going to kill somebody with. After awhile it gets old. And to me, a movie that might just be the most expensive movie ever made should maybe deliver a little more.

Despite that, there were a couple of things in particular that I do want to point out about the film. First, there's no doubt that Raimi is a masterful director. I thought for sure this movie was going to suck because there was so much going on: the Sandman, the Hobgoblin, Venom, and a possible marriage proposal. But I will say that Raimi handled it very well. And he still made time for a couple of touching moments.

The other thing I will say is that now looking back at the trilogy, it's very interesting how Raimi handled all three films. Each one has it's own personality as Damian and I recently spoke about in the comments here. Spiderman 1 is more Raimi like. It's more campy and not on an epic scale. To me, it was like Raimi was struggling a bit. Trying to inject a little Darkman into the franchise. The problem with the first was that when it comes to camp you have to either go all the way or at least find a really good balance to it. It felt too random and as a result any real drama was lost.

Spiderman 2 on the other hand felt very epic and I would say the least Raimi-like movie of the trilogy (which I guess is disturbing to say since it is my favorite yet I'm a big fan of Raimi). Spiderman 2 seemed to be a little more socially conscious. It felt like a movie made right after 9/11 then a few years after. The scene where Spidey stops the train from going off the tracks and then is carried by the passengers to a resting place is the best evidence of this. It was a surprisingly touching scene as we see the super-hero get saved by the people he is supposed to be saving.

In Spiderman 3 it felt like Raimi was finally at peace. It's here that he has found a good balance between camp and reality. Everything felt more surreal in this movie and this is none more evident than when the dark suit begins to take over. The hair brushed in front of the eyes, the black eye-liner and the collar pushed up is complete camp. I've read reviews where people said they were embarrassed by these scenes, but it's so obvious that Raimi intended these scenes to be over the top. Especially in the Jazz Club where Peter Parker first plays piano and then dances throughout the club. The only thing missing would have been if he began to smoke. But in looking at the three I would say it feels like Raimi had the most fun on this one.

So it's strange and a bit unnerving to me that while I think that Raimi is at the top of his game as a director, it's for a movie that I didn't think much of. But I'm not sure that's his fault. There's so much pressure for this franchise to be a success that I wonder how much control Raimi actually has over the story. Because while I think he handled the material well, I don't much like the material that he had to work with. Regardless, as a Raimi fan I would like to see him wave goodbye to this franchise and move on to more Raimi-like movies. Perhaps Crimewave 2?

And for the record, I will take Bryce Dallas Howard over Kirsten Dunst any and every day of the week.

A Plea To Sam

Mr. Raimi,

Not sure if you're a fan of Lazy Eye Theatre (I'm pretty new), but I'm a fan of you.

So just in case you're reading, I'd like to ask a favor. I mean, I figure you owe me since I put down $7 for the first Spiderman and well, let's just say I didn't get my return on investment. Now you've more than made it up to me with Spiderman 2, but let's just say that you still owe me. So that being said, I was wondering if you could release Crimewave on DVD. I know, I know, you don't think it's your best work, but hey let's quit being so selfish alright. It's not really about you now is it. It's about your fans. And I'm pretty sure there are quite a few of them that would like to add that DVD to their collection.

I know Evil Dead was the beginning of it all, but it seemed like with Crimewave you started to find your groove. And seriously, Bruce Campbell was pretty fantastic. Really when you think about it, there couldn't be the comic-book fun of Darkman or the Spiderman movies without Crimewave. And who knows what would have happened with the Coen brothers if they didn't have Crimewave to cut their writing teeth on. Maybe no Fargo? Who knows.

I know you're super busy on Spiderman 3, but seriously don't you have an assistant director who can watch the shop a couple of days while you make this happen. It would be great if you could call up Bruce and do a dual commentary, but hey beggars can't be choosers right? So what do you say? Quit being a selfish bastard and give us Crimewave on DVD already.

No need to call me, just post a response and a date of the release here. And don't have one of your assistants do it because I'll know.

Many thanks and forever a fan,

Piper