Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Pretty Sneaky, Paramount

Evil Clown is rarely the fool.

Evil Clown is usually the pessimist rather than the sap.

There's an old commercial that Evil Clown remembers from his earlier days. It was a commercial for the game Connect 4. Remember that game? It's certainly not one that's good enough to gather dust in the closet along with Monopoly and Stratego, but Evil Clown owned it when he was a kid.

The commercial involves a brother and a sister, playing the game. The younger brother explains the game to her. You slide little checker type pieces in the board and when you place four alongside each other, you win. The younger brother wins the first game and is feeling all cocky and shit, but then the sister gets smart and beats the brother for the second game. Only he doesn't see it. But it's right there you little shit. It's right there in front of your damn eyes! She has put together four checkers diagonally, you dumbass. Read the damn directions! Anyway, the brother ends the commercial with the line "pretty sneaky, sis."

I thought of this commercial during my recent interaction with the movie Paranormal Activity. It all started out simple enough. Mrs. Evil Clown is perusing the information super highway when she comes across this trailer for Paranormal Activity. She watches it and then says that I need to watch it. Now I must note that this little scenario thus far is a little curious. How Mrs. Evil Clown came across this trailer is still a mystery to me. She is not a horror fan in the least. IN THE LEAST. So how she found it and then why she watched it is a bit of a head-scratcher. So anyway, I watch it and it seems kind of creepy. But more than that, it feels like they layed down the gauntlet. Like they're daring me to watch it, by showing all the crowd reactions. Of course, now I must see it. Maybe I get scared, but maybe I say all of this is just a bunch of hogwash. So I look to see when it's coming to my town and I see this bit that says I must vote for it to come to my town. Vote? I'm part of a movement to help a little horror movie get a nationwide release? Helllz yeah, I'll vote. I'll vote five or six times. Better yet, I'll forward this information on and tell my friends to vote. And so I do all this and now I'm getting updates of where my town is with everyone else. And so I vote some more and I send more e-mails out for others to vote. And then I get it. The e-mail that says that it's coming to my town. And I feel vindicated. And there's joy in my heart. Then I talk to a friend who says that it's not really a little horror movie at all. It's a Paramount movie (yes, I realize that the Paramount logo appeared at the beginning of the movie trailer). And this voting for a nationwide release is just a well thought-out marketing campaign that maybe, just maybe, involved my wife. Son of a bitch! I've been duped by a marketing campaign. And worse yet, I'm in marketing.

Well played, Paramount. Now this better be a good movie, or I'm coming after you and I'm bringing my poisonous Cotton Candy with me.


Greg said...

Hey! This post wasn't even about Paranormal! It was a ruse to get me to read about you getting fooled by a marketing campaign.

Pretty sneaky, Evil Clown!

EVIL CLOWN said...

You sucker! You rube! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders - The most famous of which is "never get involved in a land war in Asia" - but only slightly less well-known is this: "Never believe an Evil Clown when death is on the line"! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha...

Emily Blake said...

Yeah I don't get it. There's all this massive hype about this movie, but I saw the trailer too and I saw absolutely nothing that made me want to see this film. All I saw was some dude launching himself at a camera in a really fuzzy dark picture. And the some people went Oooohh!

Probably the same people who think Saw LCX was the best movie ever.

elgringo said...

One time, there was this movie called Paranormal Activity. People began talking about it but there were no theaters near me playing it. Then, one morning, a glorious message arrived. The movie had...arrived. We ran to the theater, money in hand, and proudly paid for the chance to witness this phenomenal event. Then it freaked me out so much I pooped a little.

Fletch said...

Nice, Emily. Though I think Saw D will get the most out of it punny title.

With these hard times, Paramount needs all the help it can get marketing its movies. So it outsourced that marketing to its potential audience. Brilliant (and evil)! Expect to see more of it in the future.

Anonymous said...

It disturbs me that an EVIL CLOWN can be duped. But this decides me. I'm not watching this movie 'til it's free on tv. Like I always do anyway. Heh-heh!