Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Zombies Are Forever


Evil Clown here.

Yeah, yeah, I know I'm late. Here were are a few days into October and where have I been? Truth to tell, I won a trip to Aruba on Wheel of Fortune and I was there, on vacation, sipping on Bloody Mary's (course) and letting my pasty white diseased skin take in some rays. But I was summoned back by someone and, well you know me, I don't like to name names. Okay, it was fucking Greg at Cinema Styles. And if you didn't know already, he's have quite the time over at his blog this month so you should check it out.

So here I am. And Lord knows this shitty film blog could use some of my help.

So let's talk Zombies.

A lot of people ask Evil Clown "Evil Clown, why do you like zombies so much?" And I usually respond with my stock "Fuck you, I will eat your soul."

But it's true, I love zombies. Because really, is there anything scarier, or more funny than a zombie? On one hand, you've got the fact that they represent an out of control virus that turns you into a scary-looking, rabid animal that doesn't have the good nature to make sure you're dead first before it feasts on your innards. And then on the other hand, you've got the fact that zombies are probably the lowest monster on the food chain. They are the cockroach of monsters for the simple fact that there are so damn many of them. You kill one and there are million to fill its place. So it's kind of hard to take them that seriously because there is no value in any one zombie.


Evil Clown has been hearing a few things lately regarding zombies and frankly he's been a little disturbed by what he's heard. There are some that say that maybe zombies have run their course. That with all the movies and books and graphic novels and video games that there's a zombie overload. And I'm here to say that like a cockroach, these bastards are here to stay. You can write and say what you want, and be done with zombies all you want, but these rotted undead corpses are forever. Why? Because zombies are the equivalent of loosening the belt a little and letting our collective hair down. Zombies are a great big golden ticket to going a little crazy. Past zombie movies have touched on this idea, but none have to the extent of the recent Zombieland. The main character Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg) attempts to justify his survival by following a set of strict rules he has given himself. But in doing so, he further hits home the fact that when zombies are on the loose, the normal rules do not apply. In fact, no rules apply. There's a great scene where the characters are perusing a road-side shop. They are being careful not to touch anything because proper etiquette tells them not to. A single piece is broken accidentally. Then another one deliberately. And then complete mayhem follows with store being completely demolished. It was fun as hell to watch and for some reason it felt like new territory.

The zombie Apocalypse is hell, but that's really looking at things from the glass half empty point of view, isn't it.? The upside is, with the zombie Apocalypse there are no stupid rules to follow. No pillows to fluff. No dress codes. No lines. No facebook. No stupid movie blogs. That's a very liberating realization. And that my friends is why zombies will be forever. Ever. Ever. Ever. Ever (I'm attempting some kind of echo effect here if you didn't notice).

8 comments:

Bob Turnbull said...

You need more dots following your "Ever"s and some capitalization. You know, like this:

EVER...Ever...Ever...ever...ever...

Zombies are definitely forever though. Along with "Zombieland", you have other new films like "Grace" (baby zombie), "Dead Snow" (Nazi zombies) and "[rec]" & "[rec] 2" (apartment building zombies). The permutations are endless - e.g. apartment dwelling Nazi baby zombies.

Hokahey said...

I'm finding that I like the zombie comedies better than the "serious" ones, though I love Resident Evil. In the "serious" zombie movies, people do such stupid things - like thinking that someone will be immune a bite - that it's just funny! But in the zombie comedies, you're free to laugh at the whole ridiculous scenario. I loved Zombieland and I especially loved the scene in the gift shop. It was inspired.

Teenagers REALLY love zombies. Some of my drama students were dying to make a zombie movie, so we made a 25-minute movie called Night of the Living Dead Nazis - which was a lot of fun.

EVIL CLOWN said...

Bob,

The getting smaller bit with ellipses is brilliant and I missed it.

I've never heard of Grace. I'll have to check it out.

Hokahey,

To me there's an element of humor even in the serious zombie movies. Unfortunately, the guy who introduced humor with zombies, George Romero, has almost completely abandoned that aspect. Diary of the Dead was a fricking wreck. It's funny that Romero is admits openly that there was no war or racial subtext in Night of the Living Dead is now trying to make all these social statements that are so overt, they're laughable. Wait, maybe there is comedy there.

Bob Turnbull said...

"The getting smaller bit with ellipses is brilliant and I missed it."

I'm here for you EVIL.

"Grace" is actually an excellent film in many respects - but I should make sure you don't think of it as that "baby zombie" film. There aren't little tykes flying at people's necks or anything. It's very different, but very good.

Greg said...

"it was fucking Greg...

What? What was fucking Greg? I need to know because I don't like being fucked by something unless I know what it is. Was it a zombie? Ah, screw it, I'll find out later.

Welcome back Evil Clown. I did not see Zombieland and no offense to you and your great overview but the movie I really want to see now is Night of the Living Dead Nazis.

Also, concerning Bob - Fantastic with echo text. Probably the best in his field.

EVIL CLOWN said...

Sorry Greg, that sentence wasn't really spelled out. My bad.


Let me qualify it some more.

There was that time that you were being really serious and you were talking to a group of us. And you were making this really important point and I think getting a little teary-eyed if I remember correctly. And then this giant dog started humping not just your leg, but the whole side of your body. And it was a big mean dog that was kind of man-handling you. And even though you were saying some really important, profound things, you had to let the dog finish because it was so big and mean.

So the dog. The dog was fucking Greg. Sorry for any confusion.

Bob Turnbull. Best damn echo texter there is.

Greg said...

The dog, right! The fucking dog! How could I forget? You'd think I'd be traumatized but despite its size, it was very gentle with me.

Emily Blake said...

AMEN, brother. A-freaking-men.

About the zombies, I mean. Not the dog fucking.