Sgt. Peppers Ambitious Failures Club Band

On paper, the idea of combining a group of Beatles songs to tell a story sounds incredible. Which is why I have picked Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band as my selection for The Ambitious Failure Blog-A-Thon over at This Savage Art. I don't know how this whole thing went down and where it went so wrong, but I can certainly imagine. So that's what I'll do. Here's how I imagine the pitch went down to the studio exec for the idea of Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band the movie.

Pitch Guy: So this is what I'm thinking. Take a string of Beatles songs to tell a story. A great story.

Studio Exec: Hmmmmm. Coffee?

Pitch Guy: No, I'm good. What do you think? "She's leaving home", "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds". The script practically writes itself.

Studio Exec: Mmmmmm Hmmmmm. Interesting. Breath mint?

Pitch Guy: No. No. No. Thank you. So what do you think?

Studio Exec: I love it, I think. Wait? Yes, I love it.

Pitch Guy: Great. Fantastic. It could be big.

Studio Exec: Great. Go run with it.

Pitch Guy: Great. You won't be disappointed (begins to leave).

Studio Exec: Wait!

Pitch Guy: Yes.

Studio Exec: Who is going to write it?

Pitch Guy: Not sure yet. I'm going to shop it around.

Studio Exec: Are you familiar with the story The Great Skycopter Rescue?

Pitch Guy: The Great wha....

Studio Exec: ... Skycopter Rescue. Written by Henry Edwards. He's going to be big. He should write the story.

Pitch Guy: I'm not so sure. No offense, but I've never heard of him.

Studio Exec: NOW. You haven't heard of him NOW. But remember the name. He's going to be big. Could be great for this project.

Pitch Guy: I'll think about it.

Studio Exec: Great. So now we got the idea and the writer.

Pitch Guy: Maybe the writer.

Studio Exec: Right. Maybe. Could be big. Run with it.

Pitch Guy: Great. (begins to leave)

Studio Exec: Wait!

Pitch Guy: What?

Studio Exec: Who stars? The Beatles?

Pitch Guy: Yeah. No. Not the Beatles. They're not together, you know.

Studio Exec: Hmmmmmmm.

Pitch Guy: I was thinking no big stars.

Studio Exec: No. Big. Stars. Hmmmmmmmm. Great! Love it! Run with it.

Pitch Guy: Excellent. Thanks. (begins to leave)

Studio Exec: Wait!

Pitch Guy: Yeah?

Studio Exec: What about another musical group? Say, like the Bee Gees. Yes. Wait? Yes, exactly like the Bee Gees.

Pitch Guy: Wow. Yeah. The Bee Gees huh? Yeah, I wasn't really thinking about them. This doesn't even really need to be a musical venue for anyone. It could just be a great story.

Studio Exec: Yeah. A great story with The Bee Gees. They're hot! Night Fever hot!

Pitch Guy: Yeah, but there's only three of them. You know, if we were going to do the Beatles, we would need four.

Studio Exec: Good point. Good point.

Pitch Guy: So anyways, I'll just be on my way and get to writing that script.

Studio Exec: I'm thinking.... I'm thinking... Peter Frampton as the fourth.

Pitch Guy: Peter Fucking Frampton?

Studio Exec: Yeah. Frampton comes alive! Good leading guy. Long blond hair. The ladies will love him.

Pitch Guy: Peter Fucking Frampton.

Studio Exec: And not just those four. This will be a who's who of today's talent. Like an American version of Tommy.

Pitch Guy: With The Bee Gees. And Peter Fucking Frampton?

Studio Exec: We're just spitballing here.

Pitch Guy: Right. Let me go spitball with the writer.

Studio Exec: Henry Edwards, right? He'll love it.

Pitch Guy: Whatever...

Studio Exec: Great! Henry writing for the Bee Gees and then Frampton just turns up the heat. Love it. Run with it. Write your acceptance speech. This is big.

That's how I imagine this thing going down. Maybe I'm right. But like I said before. It was a great idea but a poor execution. Could have been big. Could have been something. But instead, it was Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band.