Rewatching For The First Time

Let's say that you get hit in the head. Real hard. And you lose your memory. And you get to go back and rewatch any movie and experience its greatness again for the first time. What's that movie? Or better yet, what are those movies?

Ledger Posthumous

According to Peter Travers, The Dark Knight is pretty damn good. A thunderbolt that will rip into the blanket of bland we call summer movies, he says. But Travers doesn't stop there. He goes on to say that Heath Ledger's turn as the Joker deserves the first posthumous Oscar since Peter Finch in Network. Actually, he just says that if there's a movement on behalf of Ledger, he wants to be signed up which is only kind of putting yourself out there.

As much as I love Network, Peter Finch as the first and only posthumous Oscar doesn't really set the bar that high. He was fun to watch, but a bit over the tippy-top for me. And I'm usually on board with Travers as a critic, although I'm still burning over his claim that Gangs Of New York was one of the best films of 2002.

My money has been on The Dark Knight as the summer breakout for quite some time, and I have yet to witness Nolan take a wrong turn, so I'm not surprised by the great review. But a posthumous Oscar for Ledger? As the Joker? It's entirely possible that if he does receive a nomination, it's more because the Academy is making nice for not giving him the Oscar for Brokeback Mountain.

But here's my question. Actually I have a series of questions. Does Travers write that same statement if Ledger is alive? Does he even mention Oscar if Ledger is alive? Or if Travers does make that statement, does it get sent into such a whirlwind of gossipy madness being picked up by such illustrious blogs such as this if Ledger is still alive? Meaning, did Travers really even intend for that statement to be taken as it is? The Internet is just frothing at the mouth for this kind of stuff and they're pouncing on it just as to be expected, taking Travers quote out of context and making it bolder than it actually is. But does the fact that Ledger is dead make this even sweeter? I think I know the answer to that already. But I've watched enough of Hollywood to know that they get all misty eyed over things like this. A perfect example is Crash getting the best picture Oscar because it "had a message." Never mind that that message was painfully obvious and about 10 years old.

So I don't mean to be the cynical old bastard here that calls bullshit, especially since I haven't seen the movie, but Ledger better be really frickin' good. Either that or Travers should temper his enthusiasm a bit. It's not like he writes for some stupid ass movie blog or something where he can throw out any crazy old shit and not have it stick. Or stink. Last time I checked, Rolling Stone magazine still had a pretty good circulation. Because if Ledger is good, but not great and all this is talk is due to sympathy for him, for Michelle, for his family, for not getting the Oscar for Brokeback Mountain, then shame on Travers and I guess shame on me for helping continue this story.

Celebrating Bizarro

One more day of this bionic eye, green crap and then I'm changing back.

Well, another Bizarro Blog-a-Thon gone by and just as last year the participation and the entries were terrible. So much darkness and hatred fills all of you I just don't know why we all don't explode in a big black gob of goo.

I think it's nice that we all get to take the hair pins out for a few days and really praise some shit out there. Or tear a really fine film to pieces. I think there are times when we all get a little too caught up in ourselves and what we write. Part of reading is to gather information to make our gray matter a little bigger, but it's also to be entertained. That's what movies are after all. Entertainment. So thanks for getting a little weird with me and I hope that everyone got the joke. I already know there are some out there that didn't and I feel very, very, very sorry for them.

But I have some questions for you all and would love some feedback if you have a few moments.

1) Should the Bizarro Blog-a-Thon continue to be an annual event?

(only proceed to the following questions if you answered yes, otherwise GET OFF MY LAWN! I kid, I kid)

2) Is three days enough? Too much?

3) And I'm thinking that maybe if we continue with this, I might have Bizarro awards after the blog-a-thon to celebrate the especially weird. Good idea or the worst shit you've heard?

4) Any additional thoughts would be great.

Be honest and upfront, I have thick skin and broad shoulders, but my thighs are soft and buttery.

That's all. Look for the dumb old Lazy Eye Theatre to be back next week.

And thanks to all who made the internet a little bit weirder for three days in June.

Piper

Thank God Hitchcock Is Dead So He Can't Mess Up Any More Movies

I ask you, has anyone ruined more movies than Alfred Hitchcock?

Example 1: In the movie Rear Window, we find L.B. Jefferies held up in his apartment with a broken leg. Fortunately, he won't be too lonely since he has the love of Lisa Fremont (Grace Kelly) to help him make a speedy recovery. Sure, he's not completely in love with her, but it's nothing a little tender loving care can't fix. A good start, right? One can only imagine where the movie goes next. A fun little soundtrack showing apartment shennanigans between the two. Maybe Lisa isn't a good cook but Jefferies eats it anyway because he doesn't want to hurt her feelings? And what kind of movie would this be if we didn't have a montage showing Jefferies' recovery every day. Maybe he lifts some household items like milk jugs or phone books to help strengthen his body while the time passes. Sounds heavenly, doesn't it?

Unfortunately, one Alfred Hitchcock didn't see things that way. He makes Jefferies and Fremont a little too curious for their own good. They begin watching their neighbors across the way and discover that there's maybe a guy who has killed his wife in the apartment and is trying to cover it up. Suddenly, the story takes an unexpected zag and starts focusing on this guy who we don't even know. Here I was, all settled in to enjoy perhaps one of the greatest romantic comedies of all time (Sleepless In Seattle being the best, of course) and then this happens. For the rest of the movie, I'm on the edge of my seat. I'm covering my eyes, I'm yelling at the TV. My heart is beating out of my chest. Who does Hitchock think he is manipulating me like that?

Example 2: North By Northwest could have been an instant classic. The film opens with an advertising executive Roger Thornhill (Cary Grant) a hansom man with a personality to boot. He has a good relationship with his mother and then he gets on a train and falls in love with a beautiful woman named Eve Kendall (Eva Marie Saint). If Hitchcock would have left it right there, he would have had something. What's not to love about a romantic train ride? Maybe they stop and take in some local flavor? A quaint Italian restaurant where Roger feeds Eve every bite. The two get so caught up in the moment that they miss their train and have to call Roger's mother to pick them up. There's friction between Roger's mother and Eve but then the two end up becoming best friends. Am I the only one getting goosebumps here?

Of course Hitchcock messed this movie up too. He made it all about espionage and mistaken identity and large chase scenes. There was one scene in particular where Thornhill gets dropped off by a bus in the middle of several cornfields. One might think this was a great opportunity for Thornhill to get in touch with nature and for Hitchcock to capture some beautiful countryside (maybe like another fantasticly beautiful movie A Walk In The Clouds starring the great Keanu Reeves). But Hitchcock had to introduce a kamikaze crop duster into the picture and before you know it, there's a chase scene that I've never seen before. How am I to relate to a scene if I have no point of reference? Give me something I've seen a dozen times and you'll find yourself a happy moviegoer.

Example #3 From the title, The Birds suggests an interesting approach to capture the livliehood of one of natures forgotten creatures. It's true that we take birds for granted as they fill our air with beautiful melodies every day. And again, this is another wasted opportunity by Hitchcock to A) make a good movie and B) pay proper respect to our feathered friends. He is more interested in turning this into a horror movie of sorts. Instead of making them lovable, he makes them terrifying. And we have no idea why, which is another problem with this movie. Why can't he take a page from Rob Zombie's book and give us some back-story, so we don't have to use our imaginations so much. I mean, who's getting paid to make the movie here? Not me. All I can say is thank goodness Michael Bay is remaking this.

And if you believe any of this, shame on you.

BIZARRO DAYS

I hate you all.

Whatever you do, don't read this because it won't help you understand what has befallen us all.

It's Bizarro Days. Up is down. Right is wrong. Left is right. And I believe Lindsay Lohan should run for the Senate because we need more like her in office if we want to turn this ship around.

Okay, you get the point.

Let us begin. E-mail me links to your posts or leave me a note in the comments and I'll link up. And if you don't have an entire post, feel free to give a Bizarro statement about whatever in the comments section.

Go Away.


BIZARRO DAY 1

Jason at Invasion Of The B Movies Loves The Fast And The Furious

Evidently, Jim at Moviezzz is a huge fan of Hobbits

Adam at DVD Panache pays tribute to the best of the Superman movies

Ibetolis at Film For The Soul explores the genius that is Three Men And A Little Lady

Marilyn at Ferdy On Films absolutely loves, loves, loves Love Story

Dreamrot at 7 Dollar Popcorn says the poster for definitely, maybe is destined for greatness

Stop what you're doing and see Strange Wilderness right now! So says Fletch at Blog Cabins

Jeff at Culture Snob says that Mr. Beans effects on current cinema are not to be taken lightly

Scott at He Shot Cyrus lists 7 movies that are better than that POS The Godfather

Joseph at Cinema Fist tells us what we already know. It's A Wonderful Life sucks

Whitney at dear jesus writes about the brilliance that is 300

Joseph at Cinexcellence says that the new Indy needed a little more Lucas


BIZARRO DAY 2

Alan at Burbanked smells a Sharon Stone comeback

Dan at Film Babble Blog tells us why Godfather III is the best. Course

Megan at All I Need Is Everything says Movie Blogs Suck

Bizarro Days just went worldwide baby with this submission from JP at Acheter et entretenir sa tronconneuse for Incubo

Dreamrot from 7 Dollar Popcorn gives in to the fact that remakes rock the house (2nd Entry)

Daniel G from getafilm asks if the world will ever be right again after Julianne Moore got snubbed for Freedomland?

Zola's Movie Pics just flat out hates this blog-a-thon and refuses to participate

David at TLA Attacks the Movies talks about Larry David's greatest accomplishment

Fitz at Liar of the Green Knight offers up praise for Jar Jar Binks and Seth Rogen movies

Luke at Movie Zeal reveals this little nugget. Citizen Kane sucked big ones

Megan at All I Need Is Everything announces that Columbia Pictures is looking for a new pretty torch girl (2nd Entry)

Weepingsam at The Listening Ear dares to list 5 Musical Geniuses


BIZARRO DAY 3

Burbanked couldn't be more happy that they're remaking Happy Days

Bob at Eternal Sunshine Of The Logical Mind promotes Aristocrats as entertainment the whole family can enjoy

Rick at Coosa Creek Mambo thinks the Cohan Bros suck as filmmakers

Fox at Tractor Facts can't wait for Sasha Baron-Cohens next movie

Son of Double Feature absolutely loves The Phantom Menace

Dreamrot at 7 Dollar Popcorn just can't get enough of Ryan Reynolds and who can blame him (3rd Entry)

Lucas at 100 films says big box office means great movies

Scott at He Shot Cyrus comes up with the perfect casting pics for the new The Office movie

Fitz at Lair of the Green Knight states the obvious in that Uwe Boll is a genius (2nd Entry)

Jeff at Culture Snob gives us Box Office Power Rankings, Bizarro style (2nd Entry)

Contrary to popular belief, J.D. at Valley Dreamin' tells us that Nicole Kidman Sucks

Burbanked can't get enough of this crap. He's written about how awesome the new Eddie Murphy Gobblehead is going to be (2nd Entry)

WaywardJam at Reel Whore says bring them PG-13 Movies on

Dan E. at Cinemathematics shows us why Plan 9 From Outer Space is the good stuff

Paul at Careful With That Blog, Eugene reveals the truth about Greedo in Star Wars

Dave at Dave's Blog About Movies wishes Mike Meyers would take broader roles

And you can find my entry about why I'm happy Hitchcock is dead and buried

NORBIT IS UNDERRATED: A.K.A. THE BIZARRO BLOG-A-THON BEGINS TOMORROW

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Tomorrow begins The Bizarro Blog-A-Thon.

Please use the banners below on your posts so that everyone knows that you haven't lost your mind.

Also feel free to use them to help promote the blog-a-thon if you don't have anything to post. But really, do you want to pass up this opportunity?

The Battle Between Beauty And The Geek

I discovered there's a 7 minute clip of the upcoming movie Wanted through Craig's Movie Blog. I will have to say that the small clip of the movie certainly piqued my interest and let's just be upfront with this, despite all her wackiness, I believe Angelina Jolie to be one of the most beautiful women walking among us. I'm going to have to add her to my reasons I Love My Wife. Fortunately for me, my wife loves her as much as I do so I'm given quite a bit of rope as it relates to my open wanting of the woman.

As Burbanked stated in this excellent post, Wanted seems to bear a striking resemblance to The Matrix, in its geek lives dull life until he discovers his "true purpose in life." And that "true purpose" always seems to involve a straight from the bottle, four-alarm hottie. Okay, so on to the trailer. It's cool to be sure in its cool guns/fast cars kind of way, but it involves one James McAvoy which seems to be its downfall. As a matter of fact, he's so whiny and geeky that he begins to do what seemed impossible to me - and that is to take away from Jolie's hotness. For every superwoman move that Jolie makes, further pushing her to 11 on my scale, there's McAvoy ruining it with an "We seem to have lost him, can you drop me off on the corner" or "I really value my life" causing the hotness needle to plummet to zero.

So right here and right now, I'm going to break down the 7 minute clip and we'll just see who wins this battle. The beauty or the geek.

Angelina is confident and hot as all get out in all her nasty heavy-eyeliner glory.

BEAUTY: 1

GEEK: 0

Look at that look. She's using that gun to bring home the bacon and fry it up in the pan.

BEAUTY: 2
GEEK: 0

Okay, I know that a lot of shit has happened in a short amount of time here. I mean just seconds ago, the guy was filling a prescription and now he's dodging bullets, but come on. Shouldn't we see a little glimpse of a guy that will soon be trained into a smooth assassin? Instead, we see a guy just waiting for the right time to shit his pants.

BEAUTY: 2
GEEK: 1

Jolie is having to stop McAvoy from running away from her. Bullets are flying and you have a hottie protecting you and you want to run away? And while I'm not necessarily a Tat fan, I do love the vine-looking whatever is happening on her hand here.

BEAUTY: 3
GEEK: 2

Amidst all the craziness, Jolie pulls out the Excalibur of guns and starts waving that thing around like it was made out of rubber. If she breaks a sweat here, it's pure hotness that's coming out of her.

BEAUTY: 4
GEEK: 2

Again, McAvoy attempts to break away from Jolie and this time he's successful. And again, one has to question why he's doing this. And so where does he run? To the door? Nah, he runs straight to the sumbitch who is shooting at him. For this new level of stupidity, I award McAvoy 2 points.

BEAUTY: 4
GEEK: 4

Thanks again to Jolie's heroics, McAvoy is able to get free and run out into the parking lot where he is close to being run down by a truck driven by the evil assassin. What does he do? Does he run through the parked cars to act as barriers between him and the truck? Nah, he cowers and waits to be decimated by the truck. Again, for stupidity like this I award McAvoy 2 points. Congratulations.

BEAUTY: 4
GEEK: 6

In the perfect ballet of rubber, metal and cement, Jolie navigates the car to save McAvoy's cowering ass.

BEAUTY: 5
GEEK: 6

McAvoy says "you have to understand how much I care for my life" or something pathetic like that. Never mind that just moments earlier, he was cowering like a seven year old girl in front of a truck that was barreling down on him. Now that he's riding shotgun to a hot assassin that's saved his life a couple of times now, he wants to lecture on how important life is.

BEAUTY: 5
GEEK: 7

Again, let's pause for this cat-like look. Look at that determination. That fury. I just want to roll around naked with her.

BEAUTY: 6
GEEK: 7

Jolie shoots out the windshield, climbs on the car and shoots back at the evil assassin. Oh, and did I mention she's also steering in high heels and a skirt? And she's got her other foot on the chest of McAvoy to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid. For this multi-tasking brilliance, I award her with 2 points. Well done.

BEAUTY: 8
GEEK: 7

Whilst shooting along the side of the car, she comes up on a bus. And with the grace of a swan, Jolie swerves the car and bends her back to dodge instant death. And there's an orgasmic sigh that follows this move which is a nice touch.

BEAUTY: 9
GEEK: 7

Too much beauty here, so we've got to bring the weenie-shrinking geek back in. And here is, like a cold shower, in all his shrieking glory.

BEAUTY: 9
GEEK: 8

As they approach a police blockade, Jolie has to lean back to assess the situation and quickly figure out what to do. Even upside down she's hot.

BEAUTY: 10
GEEK: 8

There's an amazing stunt here where the car flips over the cop cars and lands on the side of a bus. As they are amidst flipping, McAvoy yells "sorry" to the cops. Pathetic.

BEAUTY: 10
GEEK: 9

Not necessarily a clean getaway, but a getaway none the less. Jolie all cool and collected tunes the radio to "Pina Colada" and kicks back for the ride. McAvoy is passed out in the passenger seat.

BEAUTY: 11
GEEK: 9

Here is the clip in full.

What Will Be Said Before Every M. Night Shyamalan Movie From Now On

From M. Night Shyamalan

The Director Who Showed Promise With

The Sixth Sense and Unbreakable,

But Now Has Squandered That Promise

And Become A Bloated, Disconnected,

Egotistical Asshole

Who Has Written and Directed Shit Like

The Village, Lady In The Water

And Now The Happening

Presents The Following Motion Picture

That Will Star Him In The Most Pivotal Role

And That Will Come Off Unintentionally Funny

Because Of Its Self-Importance




Next Stop, Bollywood

Mike Meyers' Self Confirmation

(The following is to be said in the mirror by Mike Meyers everyday before he sets off to work)


I'm Mike Meyers

I'm okay

People like me just the way I am

So I Married An Axe Murderer is a good comedy

The movie 54 showed range

I don't need to wear bad teeth and frilly shirts

I don't need to wear fat suits

I don't need to dress like a cat

I don't need to wear a funny mustache

I don't need to work alongside a midget

I'm okay

People like me just the way I am

So I Married An Axe Murderer is a good comedy

The movie 54 showed range

I'm Mike Meyers

Shout Outs Week of 6/16

All writing and no commenting makes Piper a bad blogger.
All writing and no commenting makes Piper a bad blogger.
All writing and no commenting makes Piper a bad blogger.
All writing and no commenting makes Piper a bad blogger.
All writing and no commenting makes Piper a bad blogger.
All writing and no commenting makes Piper a bad blogger.
All writing and no commenting makes Piper a bad blogger.
All writing and no commenting makes Piper a bad blogger.
All writing and no commenting makes Piper a bad blogger.
All writing and no commenting makes Piper a bad blogger.
All writing and no commenting makes Piper a bad blogger.

Please allow me to somewhat redeem myself with these excellent links to some good reading.

Is it too early for Oscar Predictions? Not according to Nathanial at Film Experience Blog. He makes some Bold Oscar Predictions. He also talks about Best Pictures from the past seven years and ranks them.

Fox at Tractor Facts examines the Freakishness About Spoilers.

Ross at Anchorwoman In Peril! reveals the Horror That Made Him Him.

Alan at Burbanked examines the elusive Frank Darabont Indiana Jones Script.

Bemis at Cinevistaramascope pays a good visual tribute to Stan Winston.

JA at My New Plaid Pants gives one hell of a review of The Happening.


Enjoy

Top 5 Tuesday (T5T) Hits The Road

What is it about a road trip movie that makes an okay movie suddenly great? Is it the camaraderie? Our ability to draw from personal experience? Or just the idea of the open road with lots of munchies. It can be a trip across the country, across the state or across the city, I really don't care. Just get in the car, and don't forget the Big Gulp and the Gardettos.

Give me your Top 5 Road Trip Movies. Here are mine in no particular order.

1. Fandango One of my all time favorites. The Groovers on the open road in Texas with a shit ton of beer. One of Kevin Costner's best performances.

2. Vacation We laugh at what we know is true. A family vacation on the road always seems like a good idea to the parents. Or at least an economical one. There are few road trips as funny and as terrifying as this one.

3. Dumb and Dumber A good lesson on why you should not visit gas station bathrooms in the middle of the night. Unless of course you're looking for some man love.

4. The Cannonball Run Burt, Dom, Farrah and the crazy doctor. Either that or I'll take Adrienne Barbeau and the Lamborghini.

5. Breakdown Not necessarily a happy movie, but a great thriller. I too would scour the Earth to find Kathleen Quinlan if she were my wife.

It's 2008, Right?

I've seen dinosaurs walk among people. I've watched the White House blow up from gigantic space invader rays. I've seen Keanu Reeves dodge bullets. I've witnessed hundreds of thousands of Orcs and Goblins descend upon an imaginary city. Oh, the scenes I've seen thanks to movie technology.

So what the hell gives with The Hulk?

What makes The Hulk such a tough nut to crack? You want an entire futuristic society that may or may not exist for the next 100 years? No problem. You want a recreation of the Titanic crash? Done and done. A big green dude? What, the hell is your problem????? Movie magic can create a gigantic gorilla and make it terrorize a vintage Manhattan. It can give us a mutated hobbit that walks and talks and seems real enough. But it sure as shit can't give us a slightly larger than life green dude in torn jeans that looks worth a shit.


After seeing two completely different Hulks now, which look completely fake in completely different ways, I wondered what's so damn hard about creating this guy? When I watch him leap through the sky, why do I feel like I'm suddenly watching a cartoon? That's the question that kept floating around in the old head as I watch The Incredible Hulk today. In lieu of any real kind of movie substance, that was the only thing worth thinking about.

Just give me Lou Ferrigno, already.

Tough Love With Earl Cross

Of all the movie dads I can think of for the Dad's In Media Blog-a-Thon over at Strange Culture, one came immediately to mind. Earl Cross (Brian Doyle-Murray), the and-then-some-bastard of a father to Frank Cross and quite possibly, the single reason Frank Cross is such a loathsome prick.

"All day long I listen to people give me excuses why they can't work. My legs hurt. My back aches. I'm only four. The sooner he learns life isn't handed to him on a silver platter, the better."

We are all a bunch of spoiled sumbitches. That's what Earl Cross would tell us if we were his child and damn if he wouldn't be right. Who are we to want our materialistic things like choo-choo trains and stuff like hugs and kind words like "good job." We're just lucky to have things like sight, and limbs. Those are our gifts and we should be thankful for them. You want Earl's love, go chop meat for 22 hours with a bad back and a displaced hip and then maybe, just maybe he'll ask you to hold his cigarette while he takes a crap. Ask for him to read you a bedtime story and chances are you'll be greeted with the back of his butcher-blood soaked hand. Acknowledgement from Earl is a shove in the hallway while he's on his way out the door. Or a punch in the arm for not getting him a cold beer fast enough. Those are the moments you cherish. Those are the moments you hold on to for years.

Happy Father's Day Earl. As far as rotten bastards go, you're the rotteny bastardeous.

Don't Leave The House

I'm not terribly superstitious, but I would say that I second guess a lot of my decisions on Friday The 13th. In fact, I wonder if I should even be writing this right now. Am I tempting fate here? Oh well, fuck it.

In honor of this day, check out my entry for Final Girl's Friday The 13th Blog-A-Thon last year titled Jason Promotes Teen Abstinence.

And speaking of Blog-A-Thons, we're just about a week and a half away from the Bizarro Blog-A-Thon. So turn your thinking caps around half way and give me your best bizarro thoughts on all things film.

Never Confuse Box Office With Talent

Maybe you don't know this, but I don't care much for M. Night Shyamalan.

My problem with M. Night has less to do with his movies (although I have not seen Lady In The Water) and a lot more to do with the man. Ego bothers me. It generally bothers everyone, but I believe that it bothers me even more so than the Average Joe. I'm more forgiving of ego when there's talent to back it up. But ego that far outweighs talent really, really bothers me. And that is my problem with M. Night Shyamalan. His falling out with Disney is now infamous and may or may not have cost Excecutive Nina Jacobsen her job because she dared to request changes on his Lady In The Water script. I can only hope that she got the last laugh when the final film was delivered.

Not unlike the Bret Ratners' and Michael Bays' of the world, M. Night has confused box office success with true talent. He was quoted as saying "except for Pixar, I have made the four most successful original movies in a row of all time." No doubt the guy can write and direct but he's certainly not the second coming in the filmmaking world. Take for example that M. Night was 29 years old when he made The Sixth Sense. Now compare that with Steven Soderbergh who was 26 when he wrote and directed Sex, Lies and Videotape or P.T. Anderson who was 28 when he wrote and directed Boogie Nights. When you start to compare the career of M. Night with those two, you start to get a sense of how average he really is.

I will say that M. Night's best work would have to be in his most forgotten film, Unbreakable. A character study comic book movie long before Sam Raimi, Christopher Nolan and Jon Favreau made it hip to examine the man behind the mask. And I did enjoy Signs, but my enjoyment of most of his movies has always been that of a really good made for TV movie. If I happen upon it, I'll sit and watch it - but I wouldn't seek it out otherwise. The fact that M. Night has been running from the label of "films with a twist" most of his career only shows that he hasn't given his audience any reason not to give him any other title. So in effect, he's a gimmick rather than a real artist.

Now he is going to deliver The Happening on Friday, which I can only assume was once the working title Green Planet, which he had a hard time selling to a studio. From the interviews of the actors, you can feel that past failures have done nothing to rock M. Night's confidence. Mark Wahlberg was quoted as saying that "M. Night is going to make it (his film) one way. Without concession." I don't know, maybe it's time for M. Night to do a little conceding.

The Long Lost Art Of Disney

There's always been an incredible design associated with Disney. And unfortunately, some of that has gone by the waist-side in order to make everything visually appealing to the common-man, which I guess has no artistic side to speak of judging by the more recent Disney posters. But there was a time when some of the best design around was happening with the Disney brand. Along with my house that I would love to fill with my favorite movie posters, I would also love to fill it with these old park posters. Each one advertised a specific ride and each one possessed its own unique style.

Thars Magic In That There Kingdom Part 2

How the fuck can you possibly make a scary commercial about the Happiest Place On Earth? Eastern Airlines found a way. I think we're seeing why this airline is no longer around.

For more Magic Kingdom Shennanigans check out Film Experience Blog.

Thars Magic In That There Kingdom Part 1

This commercial is part of a campaign that ran for Disney a few years back. The title of the campaign is "Magic Happens." Funny, isn't it? You see there's this popular phrase with a bad word in it, but then this takes out that bad word and switches it out with... ah you get it.

I will tell you that with over 15 years in advertising and doing about 80% broadcast during those 15 years, real emotion in a commercial is hard to come by. About 98.5% that attempt to drum up real emotion end up coming off like a bunch of posers because ultimately they're trying to peddle some product. This campaign is an exception.

In 90 seconds, it captures the Disney brand perfectly. And so I leave you with this on the day that I travel to Walt Disney World. And no doubt this afternoon I will be covered from head to toe in 70 spf as I swim in the pool at the Polynesian Resort with a perfect view of The Magic Kingdom in the distance.

For more Magic Kingdom Magicness, check me out and other guest bloggers at Film Experience Blog.

Top 5 Tuesdays (T5T) Honors The Not So Magic Of Disney

Last year about this time I asked for you to give me your Top 5 Best Disney Movies.

Today I ask for you to revel in the misses of Disney. We like to gloss over them, but they're there. So give them to me. Your Top 5 Worst Disney Movies.

Here are mine in no particular order.

1. The Haunted Mansion Eddie Murphy associated with something that might be called "the worst"? Man, that's strange.

2. Home On The Range Disney's last 2-D animated film sadly reminded us why they had to get out of 2-D animation.

3. Cars Sorry, this is rehashed crap. Less John Lasseter and more Brad Bird for the future of Pixar please.

4. The Country Bears What if a giant bear grabbed you and used you to wipe his ass repeatedly? That's this movie.

5. Beauty and the Beast This is Disney trying too hard to be serious and to me it's boring.

Yoo Hooo Vaitress. Have Ya Got Any Pretzels?

Damn. One of the greatest comedic talents of my time (maybe our time) died on Friday.

Harvey was middle of the road and twisted as hell. Few comic actors are good enough to walk that line. To live that life. And the comedy never suffered no matter what role he was filling, whether it be on the Carol Burnett Show or in a Mel Brooks film. The headline to this post is a line he delivered as a German soldier in a Carol Burnett Show skit. My next door neighbor and I used to always say that to eachother and laugh about it later. Of course Korman couldn't get through reading it without cracking up himself. That's what I loved about the guy. He loved to laugh. When Jimmy Fallon couldn't contain his laughter on SNL, it always bugged me, but when Korman laughed on the Carol Burnett Show it was like the punch line was delivered. The joke wasn't officially over until Harvey started laughing. And what's strange and interesting is that his break in character never compromised the comedy. It took it to the next level.

Thanks for the laughs Harvey. And that's for laughing right along with us.

Thanks to Burbanked for the heads up on this.

T'Ain't America Grand

There is reality show that's currently running called Celebracadabra. Let's pause for the awesomeness of that title. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Okay, enough pausing. The purpose of the show is to make B-List celebrities magicians. Again with the pausing to allow the awesomeness to fill every orifice of your body. And it stars C. Thomas Howell, an actor from some movies I don't know like E.T. The Extra Terrestrial and The Outsiders, but then a couple that I do. Masterpieces like Soul Man and Side Out. It also stars a guy named Ant who was the host of another reality show called Celebrity Fit Club which might be on the tippy top of my guilty pleasure list. Anyway, Celebracadabra is fricking fantastic and the best part is that when someone has to leave the show, they put them in a chair, cover them in a black blanket and then make them disappear. Here's a clip.

And on with other things. It's that time of year again when the fam and I go to Walt Disney World. I'm leaving this Wednesday and coming back on Monday. Thanks to Blogger realizing that it is indeed 2008, they have added a program that allows me to schedule posts. So not only will I have posts on my blog while I'm gone, I will also have a couple posts on Film Experience Blog because Nathanial is also going to be at Walt Disney World and has asked that a few of us guest blog about... wait for it... The Magic Kingdom. So anyway, check me out here at Lazy Eye Theatre and also at Film Experience Blog this next week but know that I will not really be at either blogs but instead I will probably be riding Snow White's Very Scary Adventure with my daughter. Like I said before... T'aint America Grand?