Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Birthday Wishes

Burbanked as made a wish for his 3rd Blogging Birthday and who am I to deny someone their birthday wishes. Don't ask me how I pulled this off before the holiday, but I did.


SFX: Knock On The Door


KEVIN:
Hello?



PIPER:
Hey Kevin, it's me Piper.



KEVIN:
Who?



PIPER:
Piper from Lazy Eye Theatre.



KEVIN:
I'm sorry...



PIPER:
Oh Kevin, don't act like you don't read me. So are you going to invite me in? I come bearing gifts.



KEVIN:
Um... well...



PIPER:
Don't make me beg Kevin.



KEVIN:
Alright, but just for a few minutes.



PIPER:
Wow, this is an incredible place you've got here.



KEVIN:
Thanks.



PIPER:
You know Kevin, I'm probably the biggest fan of Fandango there is.



KEVIN:
Oh thank you.



PIPER:
Your best acting yet.



KEVIN:
Well I've done a lot of stuff since then.



PIPER:
Yep. Your best acting yet. So where's that Oscar of yours?



KEVIN:
I've got two.



PIPER:
Oh. That's right. So where are they?



KEVIN:
Right over here.



PIPER:
Man, those are cool. So how about you eat some of my Piper Peanut Brittle. Just perfect for the holidays.



KEVIN:
Hmmm. That's an interesting taste.



PIPER:
It's a special recipe. I sent some to Michael Bay as well.



KEVIN:
Whoah. Wait. What's going on. I don't feel good.



PIPER:
Yeah, you're going to want to hit the can here pretty quick. But before you go, I'll be taking this Best Director Oscar you stole from Scorsese for Goodfellas and I'll be re-gifting it to my friend Burbanked. Now move along.



KEVIN: You son of a....





Burbanked, I present you with the oh-so-wrongfully awarded 1991 Best Director Oscar for Dances With Wolves. It never belonged to Kevin so it might as well belong to you.

3 comments:

Burbanked said...

Ordinarily, I'd say it's a shame that the price of my birthday gift means that Costner has to spend all day on the hopper, but I've been feeling extremely egocentric lately, so I'm going to go ahead and say I feel fine about this.

Hope you gave Bay a double dose of the brittle. That sounds kind of filthy.

Thanks, Piper! Nicely done!

whitney said...

Hell, I'd give it to Godfather III over that shit.

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