Monday, December 1, 2008

DAY 1 of Lazy Eye Theatre's 2nd Birthday Weeklong Blowout Extravaganza


PIPER:
Hello, and thank you all for coming to Lazy Eye Theatre's 2nd Birthday Weeklong Blowout Extravaganza. Please enjoy the food and drink and help me celebrate Lazy Eye Theatre's second year in the blogosphere. Jeez, I can't believe it's been that long. It seems just like yesterday that I wrote my first post about...



SEAN YOUNG:
Oh come on. Get to it.



PIPER:
Who said that to me?



SEAN YOUNG:
Get to it.



PIPER:
Have another cocktail.



JULIAN SCHNABEL:
Excuse me.



PIPER:
Yes?



JULIAN SCHNABEL:
That's my line.



PIPER:
Excuse me?



JULIAN SCHNABEL:
You're using my line.



PIPER:
And you are...



JULIAN SCHNABEL:
Julian Schnabel.



PIPER:
Oh right. The doorbell, butterfly thing.



JULIAN SCHNABEL:
That's exactly what I said to Sean Young when she interrupted me.



PIPER:
I don't know what you're talking about?



JULIAN SCHNABEL:
From the DGA Awards show. Do you have a transcript from that night? You're saying exactly what I said.



SEAN YOUNG:
Who wants to do some Jager?



PIPER:
I'm at a loss here Julian. I wasn't at the DGA Awards, how on earth what I know what you said?



JULIAN SCHNABEL:
Whatever.



PIPER:
Thank you very much. I want to thank the DGA. And why don't you finish my speech darling.



JULIAN SCHNABEL:
Unbelievable.



PIPER:
What now?



SEAN YOUNG:
I'll tell you what now. Sake Bombs for everyone.



JULIAN SCHNABEL:
You're stealing my lines.



PIPER:
Look, Julian. You kind of bug me with that burly beard/yellow glasses thing you got going there, but I invited you because I owed a friend a favor for a thing a long time ago. Don't make me regret it, okay? Just have some food and drink and let me talk to my birthday friends.



JULIAN SCHNABEL:
But you stole from me. I had some good lines that night and you took them from me.



PIPER:
I'm sorry Julian, but you're going to have to leave.



JULIAN SCHNABEL:
What? But I didn't even interrupt you. What about Sean Young?



PIPER:
Well, I kind of have a thing for Sean Young. And she's really drunk and it's my birthday party and well... you can figure out the rest.



SEAN YOUNG:
Who wants to do body shots?



PIPER:
Right here, baby.

9 comments:

Ray said...

Bizarre. And not in a good way.

PIPER said...

Just you wait, Ray. Just you wait.

Jonathan Lapper said...

Happy 2nd Birthday. Is your blog now going to enter its terrible twos. Are you going to start throwing tantrums, screaming uncontrollably and pouting if you don't get your way?

Or is that already happening?

PIPER said...

Thanks Lapper.

I'm really holding off until the 3's. Then all hell is going to break loose.

Stacia said...

Happy Blogibirthdayversary thing!

PIPER said...

Many thanks Stacia.

Since it's a weeklong bash, I'm really trying to temper my eating and drinking so I don't overdo it too soon.

Fletch said...

I can't possibly read all that, but Happy Birthday!! You're older than me by about a week...

PIPER said...

Ah, come on Fletch.

It's short sentences with lots of pictures.

Thanks for the Birthday wishes. I had no idea we were so close on birthdays.

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