BIZARRO DAYS

I hate you all.

Whatever you do, don't read this because it won't help you understand what has befallen us all.

It's Bizarro Days. Up is down. Right is wrong. Left is right. And I believe Lindsay Lohan should run for the Senate because we need more like her in office if we want to turn this ship around.

Okay, you get the point.

Let us begin. E-mail me links to your posts or leave me a note in the comments and I'll link up. And if you don't have an entire post, feel free to give a Bizarro statement about whatever in the comments section.

Go Away.


BIZARRO DAY 1

Jason at Invasion Of The B Movies Loves The Fast And The Furious

Evidently, Jim at Moviezzz is a huge fan of Hobbits

Adam at DVD Panache pays tribute to the best of the Superman movies

Ibetolis at Film For The Soul explores the genius that is Three Men And A Little Lady

Marilyn at Ferdy On Films absolutely loves, loves, loves Love Story

Dreamrot at 7 Dollar Popcorn says the poster for definitely, maybe is destined for greatness

Stop what you're doing and see Strange Wilderness right now! So says Fletch at Blog Cabins

Jeff at Culture Snob says that Mr. Beans effects on current cinema are not to be taken lightly

Scott at He Shot Cyrus lists 7 movies that are better than that POS The Godfather

Joseph at Cinema Fist tells us what we already know. It's A Wonderful Life sucks

Whitney at dear jesus writes about the brilliance that is 300

Joseph at Cinexcellence says that the new Indy needed a little more Lucas


BIZARRO DAY 2

Alan at Burbanked smells a Sharon Stone comeback

Dan at Film Babble Blog tells us why Godfather III is the best. Course

Megan at All I Need Is Everything says Movie Blogs Suck

Bizarro Days just went worldwide baby with this submission from JP at Acheter et entretenir sa tronconneuse for Incubo

Dreamrot from 7 Dollar Popcorn gives in to the fact that remakes rock the house (2nd Entry)

Daniel G from getafilm asks if the world will ever be right again after Julianne Moore got snubbed for Freedomland?

Zola's Movie Pics just flat out hates this blog-a-thon and refuses to participate

David at TLA Attacks the Movies talks about Larry David's greatest accomplishment

Fitz at Liar of the Green Knight offers up praise for Jar Jar Binks and Seth Rogen movies

Luke at Movie Zeal reveals this little nugget. Citizen Kane sucked big ones

Megan at All I Need Is Everything announces that Columbia Pictures is looking for a new pretty torch girl (2nd Entry)

Weepingsam at The Listening Ear dares to list 5 Musical Geniuses


BIZARRO DAY 3

Burbanked couldn't be more happy that they're remaking Happy Days

Bob at Eternal Sunshine Of The Logical Mind promotes Aristocrats as entertainment the whole family can enjoy

Rick at Coosa Creek Mambo thinks the Cohan Bros suck as filmmakers

Fox at Tractor Facts can't wait for Sasha Baron-Cohens next movie

Son of Double Feature absolutely loves The Phantom Menace

Dreamrot at 7 Dollar Popcorn just can't get enough of Ryan Reynolds and who can blame him (3rd Entry)

Lucas at 100 films says big box office means great movies

Scott at He Shot Cyrus comes up with the perfect casting pics for the new The Office movie

Fitz at Lair of the Green Knight states the obvious in that Uwe Boll is a genius (2nd Entry)

Jeff at Culture Snob gives us Box Office Power Rankings, Bizarro style (2nd Entry)

Contrary to popular belief, J.D. at Valley Dreamin' tells us that Nicole Kidman Sucks

Burbanked can't get enough of this crap. He's written about how awesome the new Eddie Murphy Gobblehead is going to be (2nd Entry)

WaywardJam at Reel Whore says bring them PG-13 Movies on

Dan E. at Cinemathematics shows us why Plan 9 From Outer Space is the good stuff

Paul at Careful With That Blog, Eugene reveals the truth about Greedo in Star Wars

Dave at Dave's Blog About Movies wishes Mike Meyers would take broader roles

And you can find my entry about why I'm happy Hitchcock is dead and buried

NORBIT IS UNDERRATED: A.K.A. THE BIZARRO BLOG-A-THON BEGINS TOMORROW

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Tomorrow begins The Bizarro Blog-A-Thon.

Please use the banners below on your posts so that everyone knows that you haven't lost your mind.

Also feel free to use them to help promote the blog-a-thon if you don't have anything to post. But really, do you want to pass up this opportunity?

Mark Them Calendars. It's Bizarro Time.

Goodbye,

It is Bizarro Piper.

You all suck which is why I hate you and don't want you to participate in the upcoming Bizarro Blog-A-Thon 2, June 23-25. Last year's participation was terrible and I would hate it if even less of you participated this year.

If you don't remember the rules here they are: up is down, right is wrong, white is black and Norbit fucking rocks. Write up movies you hate like they're the best ever. Write about movie stars you love, like you can't stand them.

Feel free to e-mail me if you want a reminder.

BIZARRO BLOG-A-THON 2, JUNE 23-25

Bad Bye

The Bizarro Fallout

Bizarro Days are over but they are not forgotten. A lot of you came clean on your thoughts about various movie topics such as Star Wars, Nic Cage, the use of color in movies, remakes. I liked the idea of a Bizarro Blog-a-Thon because it would allow people to let down their hair a bit as it relates to film criticism. There can be some interesting things that come out in 180 degree thinking. You can happen on to a thought or an idea you would have never even considered before. So although this was a goof for the most part, I saw some interesting thinking nonetheless.

Judging from the comments on most of the posts, I would say that you all came out smelling like roses. No permanent damage done due to outlandish statements. I myself may have not fared so well. I did not take my own advice and include a Bizarro Banner on my post about Woody Allen and was called a 'Pig'. Oh well, I've been called worse.

But aside from that, Bizarro Days were a huge success. I was pleased to see so much participation and so many people entering multiple times. It looks like everyone had fun. So much fun in fact that I'm going to host this annually, assuming I'm still blogging a year from now. So count on another Bizarro Days around this time next year. In the meantime, here is a list of upcoming blog-a-thons.

The Slapstick Blog-a-Thon September 7-10 at Film Of The Year

The William Wyler Blog-a-Thon September 21-23 at goatdogblog

The Montogmery Clift Blog-a-Thon October 17th at Film Experience

The Kurosaw-a-Thon November 15-22 at filmsquish

The Close-Up Blog-a-Thon October 12-21 at The House Next Door

Thanks again to all who participated and helped spread the word. If I've forgotten any blog-a-thons, let me know.

Bizarro Days Are Upon Us

Bad day everyone.

It is I, Bizarro Piper.

I am short and small boned and single and I tan easily. Welcome to Bizarro Days, friends. For the next three days, tell me how you really feel by not telling me how you really feel about a movie, a director, an actor, whatever you want. Go here for my Bizarro banners, if you feel you need them - and if you use them don't forget to link back to this blog. Otherwise, keep your audience guessing on whether you really believe Breakin' 2 Electric Boogaloo deserves a third, forth and fifth viewing.

Also feel free to leave a nice little bizarro quip in the comments section if you feel so moved.

Bad luck and I hope you don't participate because I hate you all desperately.



Jim at Moviezzz is on board first with praise for The Weasel. And deservedly so.

Edward Copeland loves every second of The Thin Red Line. Don't we all.

Emma at All About My Movies absolutely loves these actors.

Pacheco at The Home Of Bohemian Cinema has designed his own Bizarro Banner and I hate it.

Squish at Filmsquish shows why everyone should love Uwe Boll.

Burbanked states the obvious: Kiera Knightly is the best actress evaaaaaa.

Culture Snob declares Cruel Intentions brilliant.

J.D. at Joes Movie Corner reveals his true feelings about Pokemon in French, no less.

Ray at The Rec gives Return Of The Jedi it's much deserved props.

Joseph at it'samadmadblog2 explains to us why Nic Cage is the greatest actor of our generation. Hey, there's no selling me.

samuraifrog at Electronic Cerebrectomy celebrates women being put in their place and of course, anal rape.

Adam at DVD Panache gives us something truly Bizarro about Ronin.

Burbanked says the new Alien Vs. Predator: Requiem is going to be totally kick ass.

Bob at Eternal Sunshine Of The Logical Mind says we're better off without color.

Gautam at The Broken Projector pays respect to the lost gem that is Operation Cobra. Proper.

Culture Snob takes aim at Danny Boyle and Sunshine. That jerk.

Woody Allen is alright with the ladies, so says me.

Adam at All Things Film says Ed Wood is one of the greatest directors ever.

Squish take Bizarro Days worldwide with his take on Boss Of It All.

Doc at The Bargain Matinee says bring on the Parody.

Mariana at Gatochy's Blog loves Princess Leia and all that she has done for women.

Ray at The Rec proves that life is better thanks to Movie Blogs.

JA at My New Plaid Pants gives us 5 reasons why Halloween should be remade. Only 5?

weepingsam at The Listening Ear writes about that bore W.C. Fields.

Dan E at Cinemathematics says David Lynch sucks. As if we didn't know that already.

Nathaniel at Film Experience pours his heart out for Hillary Swank.

KC at The Rec welcomes Star Wars 1, 2, and 3 with a warm heart and open arms.

Brooke at Boy on Film says Renee Zellwegger is easy on the eyes. It's about time somebody said it.

Glenn at Stale Popcorn is completely over Bob Fosse. Me too.

Culture Snob offers ways to fix the movie industry. Amen.

Burbanked says the more remakes the better. Hells yeah.

Stacie at Final Girl talks about a remake we allllllllllll want to see.

Ross at The Rued Morgue writes about the romantic comedy that is Vacancy.

Racso Ledger points out a few things that the Oscars missed.

dreamrot at 7 Dollar Popcorn writes that the American Godzilla is too damn good to forget.

Noel at Critic After Dark comes out swinging for Spielberg's 1941.

Woody Was Right

For a recluse, Woody Allen sure put himself front and center in 1997 when he decided to break off his relationship with Mia Farrow and marry her adopted daughter Soon Yi Previn. He took a lot of criticism for it and his filmmaking talents even came into question. And I say wrongly so. Hindsight is 20/20 but knowing what we know now and can see with our plain eyes, can you blame him? Now if we were talking about Woody leaving the 1968 Mia Farrow during Rosemary's Baby, the criticism would be justified. Look at her. She looks like Gweneth Paltrow in this photo. Or is that the other way around?


But look at her in 2006 during The Omen remake.

Suddenly Woody Allen is not only a brilliant filmmaker, he's also a genius with the ladies. He has been able to ditch the used car for a newer model before the clunker hit 100,000 miles.

How many of you are sitting at home right now asking yourself this question: how do you break the ice with a woman 1/3 your age who comes from a different country, let's just say Korea? You date her adopted mother, that's how. Sure you have to put in some time with the old lady, but that's the price you pay for a longer commitment with a younger woman. Do some family time with everyone and then prolong the good night kiss to Soon Yi before hitting the sack with Mia. Again, I say brilliant. And it's not like Woody isn't a good looking cat already. And that neurotic stutter is infectious as hell especially after you've seen him do it or someone acting like him for over 40 movies straight. But sometimes looks and sheer charisma are not enough. Especially when dealing with a naive girl from, let's just say Korea.

A lot of people have been creeped out about all of this, and I say step away from your judgmental soapboxes and abandon that moral code that has kept us somewhat sane all these years. Who needs it. Go where the heart takes you, even if you're Woody Allen.

I HATE LAZY EYE THEATRE

Bizarro Days are on the horizon, friends. In just a few days all hell will break loose and you should be prepared for the worst. I offer up these banners freely. Take one or take them all. Use them at the beginning of your Bizarro post, or at the end, or in the middle. Use them to free yourself of any blame for you know not what you write during Bizarro Days. I don't hope to see you here come Monday.

The Basic Model

For The More Violent Participant

For The Unsure

For The Sympathetic

For Those Who Need Acceptance

TOM CRUISE IS NOT GAY A.K.A The Bizarro Blog-A-Thon reminder

Sharpen your wit and hone your sarcasm my friends because the Bizarro Blog-A-Thon is only a week away. Soon I will be posting very cool banners for you to attach to your posts so that everyone knows that you're not serious, you're just plain Bizarro.

If you want a reminder e-mail me (you can find it in my profile) or just post a comment and I'll track it.

The BIZARRO Blog-a-Thon

I am officially declaring the days August 27th-29th as Bizarro Days. On those three days up will be down. Right will be wrong. Black will be white. Bad performances will suddenly be good. The worst movie will be the best. The saddest movie will be the funniest. And for those three days I may actually like Rob Zombie.

Show me how much you hate some actor by telling me how much you love him/her. Give your favorite movie the worst review you've ever given. Declare Martin Scorsese the biggest hack to ever get behind the camera. Whatever you want, just bring your worst (and of course I mean your best).

The BIZARRO BLOG-A-THON IS GOING ON NOW RIGHT HERE.

E-mail ppiper@barkleyus.com if you're interested and I'll send an e-mail the day before to remind you.

Bad Bye