D'OH

Remember my comedy penis?

I have one but it's been quite flaccid lately. Not a lot of stuff to laugh at. The Simpsons Movie didn't really help it much. It turns out that my comedy penis is mostly stimulated by Chief Wiggum. When he was on the screen, my comedy penis would get all excited. Unfortunately he was on the screen for about 30 seconds total. The rest of the time, my comedy penis was confused. It talks to me and here's what it said.

Comedy Penis: This is the Simpsons, right?

Me: Yes.

Comedy Penis: THE Simpsons.

Me: Yes. THE Simpsons.

Comedy Penis: Not a bad knock-off.

Me: No.

Comedy Penis: Then why aren't I more excited?

Me: I wish I knew.

Comedy Penis: So when does Superbad come out?

The Simpsons Movie plays like a 90 minute episode that's not very funny. And it's hard to do something epic for a movie when you've done so many epic episodes already. I remember one episode where a meteor was going to hit Springfield and everyone got in Flanders' bomb shelter. That was episode was funny because not everyone could fit in the shelter and Homer wanted to vote out Flanders. He would insist that the mob throw out Flanders and then immediately apologize to his kids for doing so. I didn't feel that kind of edge in the movie. Instead of edge, what I got was Homer flipping people the bird, Marge saying 'Goddamn' and we got to see Bart's wiener. That's why I spent my $9 bucks? I should have stayed home, watched a rerun and laughed at better jokes for free.