Friday, July 27, 2007


Remember my comedy penis?

I have one but it's been quite flaccid lately. Not a lot of stuff to laugh at. The Simpsons Movie didn't really help it much. It turns out that my comedy penis is mostly stimulated by Chief Wiggum. When he was on the screen, my comedy penis would get all excited. Unfortunately he was on the screen for about 30 seconds total. The rest of the time, my comedy penis was confused. It talks to me and here's what it said.

Comedy Penis: This is the Simpsons, right?

Me: Yes.

Comedy Penis: THE Simpsons.

Me: Yes. THE Simpsons.

Comedy Penis: Not a bad knock-off.

Me: No.

Comedy Penis: Then why aren't I more excited?

Me: I wish I knew.

Comedy Penis: So when does Superbad come out?

The Simpsons Movie plays like a 90 minute episode that's not very funny. And it's hard to do something epic for a movie when you've done so many epic episodes already. I remember one episode where a meteor was going to hit Springfield and everyone got in Flanders' bomb shelter. That was episode was funny because not everyone could fit in the shelter and Homer wanted to vote out Flanders. He would insist that the mob throw out Flanders and then immediately apologize to his kids for doing so. I didn't feel that kind of edge in the movie. Instead of edge, what I got was Homer flipping people the bird, Marge saying 'Goddamn' and we got to see Bart's wiener. That's why I spent my $9 bucks? I should have stayed home, watched a rerun and laughed at better jokes for free.


Anonymous said...

wow...that's harsh.

i'm going to see it tomorrow...i'm paying $5

PIPER said...

I'll be interested in your thoughts.

Anonymous said...

Man, Piper ... I cannot believe that you didn't find parts of this funny.

Ralph Wiggum: I think I like boys now.

The people in church going to the bar and visa versa.

Brilliant stuff!!

While I agree that many of the secondary characters get short changed, there is a lot to love here.

PIPER said...


I did find parts of it funny, but here's how I broke it down. One good episode would average about 4 really good jokes that would make me laugh. The movie ran 90 minutes, so I should have had at least 12 really good jokes.

Nelson laughing at Bart was funny.

Ralph's line was funny.

Tom Hanks was funny.

Albert Brooks and his multiple-choice plans was funny.

That was about it.

And why make part of the movie about getting away from Springfield and all the funny characters we all love so much. It just reminds me that The Simpsons as just The Simpsons isn't funny. They need their supporting cast.

Anonymous said...

Um, you're missing a few, my friend...

Bart's skateboarding.

The aforementioned trading of the church and the bar.

Homer's quiet prayer about Flanders - GAY GAY GAY.

The ambulance still crashed into the tree at the gorge.

Homer whipping the dogs - REST REST REST!!

When the dogs attack him - Hey, that's my whipping arm!!

Lisa's presentation - An Irritating Truth

Apu - Look into your heart ... and Burns releases the hounds.

The brilliant opening sequence.

Homer - Why would anybody pay to see something that they can see free on television??

I mean, gimme a break Piper ... were you sitting on your balls or something???? This is a pretty funny movie.

PIPER said...


The movie should be a best of the TV show. Plain and simple. And this was not. Sorry. It wasn't. Is that a tall order? Yes, it is but sorry. If it's such a tall order don't make a movie out of one of the most successful TV shows of all time. I go down in my basement right now, pop in a DVD from a season and find better thinking, better writing and funnier jokes. And that's really what we're calling out, a series of funny little moments. That's proof in the pudding that this was not a good movie as a whole, when all we are doing is calling out a series of little jokes to help carry it through.

Sorry, the TV show is funnier. This was just an okay episode that lasted a bit longer. I know I'm in the minority on this. But so be it.

J.D. said...

Who does it have to be funny for it to be great? I mean, it really, REALLY is, but, why? I actually thought that I should consider it for Cinematography, and that felt weird...

Anonymous said...

Strange that you say this, my friend:

"And that's really what we're calling out, a series of funny little moments. That's proof in the pudding that this was not a good movie as a whole, when all we are doing is calling out a series of little jokes to help carry it through."

I have been a fan of this show since it was on The Tracy Ullman Show, and I can definitely say that the show has been entirely built out of little jokes and character asides.

Admittedly, sometimes the show comes up with the BIG FUNNY idea or storyline - Homer starting a nuclear catastrophe, Burns blocking out the sun, the family in therapy - but most of the stories are little things that twist and turn, filled with amusing character moments.

Some of the best parts of the television show have grown out of Nelson saying "HA HA!" or Ralph Wiggum saying anything or Barney getting drunk, etc. Those things are all still in the movie. If I have a complaint at all, it would be that the family leaves Springfield for a section of the middle, sapping the film of these vital nutrients.

I went into this film with high expectations - hell, I even wrote an article before the film premiered entitled "The Simpson Save The Summer" - and while the film didn't totally meet those expectations, I think it was still very, very funny ... and much better than the show has been recently.

PIPER said...


You're correct about the episodes and I honestly cannot comment on the current season since I don't watch it. I think about the episode where the Carneys took over the Simpson house. That felt epic and it was a good consistent show. That's one of the loopholes of TV, but it shouldn't be in movies, although I would say that lots of successful comedies get by on just a series of jokes and not a consistent story overall. And honestly, the jokes didn't even seem that good to me. The Carney dressed in Homer's clothes saying he looks like James Bond is pretty damn funny. And him shoving a cigarette up his nose and pulling it out his ass and hearing Homer in the background saying 'no' is classic.

But we could go on and on and on. I may enjoy it more upon second viewing, who knows.

Shea said...

HA...i am not getting into this battle. But I will say i enjoyed the movie. I never expected much though but instead got my fill.