It's hard not to compare Brett Ratner with Andrew Dice Clay from the movie Ford Fairlane (told you it was a stretch). Ford was a private eye, but he was called the Rock-n-Roll Private Eye. Sure he got asked to all the hot parties and pulled down some pretty good tail, but he wasn't a real detective. And no one really took him as such.
Same with Ratner. He has a house that's compared to the Playboy Mansion. He's seen with Lindsay Lohan. But what about his movies? He's starring on the hit HBO show Entourage. He shot the photos for the new Jimmy Choo ads. Yeah, but what about his movies? He's shooting the new video for Jessica Simpson. He dated Serena Williams. Yeah, but what about his goddamn movies?
Finally when you actually happen upon the words Brett Ratner and movies (Jesus, don't say film) in the same sentence, you discover that his movies have made more than a billion dollars. A BILLION DOLLARS. Wow! People compare him to Spielberg because of his bank ability. Ratner was quoted recently in Vanity Fair as saying "I feel sort of guilty because I look up to guys like Spielberg and I beat every one of his records."
Hey Brett, have you won two Oscars for best director?
Yeah, I think some records are still safe.
Ratner is a hack in the worst way. He's a Hollywood hack. Michael Bay meets Kato Katlin. His talent is judged by who he knows and what he grosses, not by his ability to actually make a good movie. Problem is, he's convinced everyone that he's a diamond in the rough. That his true talent lay ahead. Somehow Money Talks and The Family Man are just warm-ups to true greatness and we've all missed it.
Not me. Declaring yourself a filmmaker does not make you a filmmaker. He had his chance with Red Dragon. He had the cast and the money and he choked. The planets don't align like that everyday. I'm sure saying that he worked with Anthony Hopkins is probably a good pick-up line.
But despite all his 7.5 million dollar paychecks, his high-profile girlfriends, his guest appearances on Jimmy Kimmel Live, Ratner seems to really be bothered by the fact that he gets so beat up on the Internet. They don't give him the props.
It's like Ratner has a complex and the Internet is the Daddy he's still trying to prove himself to. Well Brett, Daddy still isn't impressed. You're a poser and nothing more and I'm not going to give you a hug just so you feel better about it.