Monday, April 30, 2007

Tom Cruise = The New Michael Jackson


This coming July Tom Cruise will turn 46 and that made me realize something. There will be a whole new generation that knows Tom Cruise more as being a Scientologist whack then for being Joel, the guy who sang "Old Time Rock and Roll" in his underwear and bedded an oh so hot Rebecca De Mornay. Or Maverick the pilot guy who bedded the oh so hot Kelly McGillis. Or Cole the racer guy who bedded the oh so hot Nicole Kidman. Come to think of it, nowadays you've got a better chance of seeing Tom Cruise on the cover of a US Weekly or Star talking about his off screen drama then any kind of drama he's creating on screen.

And while this may be sad and depressing to some, I am elated by it. Why? Because we need a good freak around here. It's taken some time but Michael Jackson has finally learned to lay really low and stay clear of any cameras. That leaves a big vacancy in the freak department that desperately needs to be filled because in this crazy circus we live in, we all need a three eyed bearded elephant woman to stare and gawk at and make us feel better about ourselves.

And here's the good part. Tom Cruise is already primed and ready. He's already doing the job and he hasn't even been asked. So I say welcome Tom, you freak of freaks. Keep it up because you've got big glittery shoes to fill.

Somebody call Martin Bashir.

4 comments:

pacheco said...

Do Scientologists (or Tom Cruise personally) believe in some sort of Y2K phenomenon? I'm actually being serious, because until 1999, early 2000, this dude was doing just fine. He was in Magnolia and Eyes Wide Shut, he got an Oscar nomination...

Then things started to spiral. After the real new millennium (2001), Vanilla Sky came out, meaning that's when he broke up with Nicole Kidman, and he's never been the same since.

I thought about arguing with you that Tom Cruise is not the Next Michael Jackson, but rather the film world's equivalent of baseball's Alex Rodriguez (A-Rod), who is an extremely talented individual, but ruins it all by letting his fragile psyche get into public view.

But I think you're right, because by now, even if I don't think Cruise is a freak show, everyone else sure does.

Anonymous said...

Good one, Piper. I miss you.
Tom Cruise is the worst. Something weird has happened to Katie Holmes, too. She was so cute in Pieces of April and now she looks like maybe she had a stroke. -- Steph

bird flu said...

They are both freaks. He is because...obviouse reasons. She is because she's with him. I hear Katie has convinced him to do a movie version of Dawson's Creek. I think he's going to direct and star.

Piper said...

I once loved Katie for all that she could be and the fact that she wasn't afraid to do nudity, but now all that is lost.

Steph, so nice to see your writings. I hope all is well with you.

Birdflu, always a pleasure.