And while this may be sad and depressing to some, I am elated by it. Why? Because we need a good freak around here. It's taken some time but Michael Jackson has finally learned to lay really low and stay clear of any cameras. That leaves a big vacancy in the freak department that desperately needs to be filled because in this crazy circus we live in, we all need a three eyed bearded elephant woman to stare and gawk at and make us feel better about ourselves.
And here's the good part. Tom Cruise is already primed and ready. He's already doing the job and he hasn't even been asked. So I say welcome Tom, you freak of freaks. Keep it up because you've got big glittery shoes to fill.
Somebody call Martin Bashir.