Zodiac You brought me great joy even though you were about a real-life serial killer. The good news is that the rotten A-hole only got one of your discs and not both and besides I didn't own the 2-Disc Directors Cut and that will be better anyway. But I hope that you break in half and get lodged in the veiny portion of the neck of the jack-hole who stole you from me.
Harry Potter and the Order Of The Phoenix This movie belonged to my son, you rotten bastard. A movie about magic for children that you stole. I guess there is no magic in the world, only people who steal random movies. I hope that when you pop this in your DVD player, it pops right back out and shoots across the room right into your leg, rendering you gimpy and then you discover that your front door is open and unlocked and a bunch of children come in and beat you to death with Sock'em Boppers.
City Of God A fun little movie about gang warfare in Brazil. Speaking of gang warfare... why don't you find some, you ass-munch, and get in the middle of it.
Tears Of The Black Tiger Brand spanking new, I took this out of the plastic and put it into my case hoping to watch it. I had heard very good things about it so hopefully the soily fuck-nut who took it from me might be cultured enough to enjoy an Asian Western. But actually, I hope you decide to try and hock it for a cheap pair of roller skates and those cheap pair of roller skates are possessed only you don't know that when you put them on. And they roll you down a large hill into oncoming traffic.
Day Of The Dead The third movie in Romero's on-going zombie saga. Hopefully you've stolen the other two of these nutjob so you can truly enjoy the whole story. Otherwise, please slip this disc under your eyelid and blink a lot.
A Shock To The System A sleeper of a movie starring Michael Caine and maybe one of the best advertising movies ever made. I got it for a steal... and speaking of steal that's what you did with it you assy stink-hole. I hope that the disc breaks in two and both pieces get lodged in your back and someone plugs you into the wall and makes you dance like a monkey and you become some kind of sideshow freak that everyone gawks at and feels sorry for. Only I won't feel sorry for you because you're a stinkin' thief.
The Driver Another brand spanking new movie that I have never seen. Please enjoy the pristine quality of the disc. Marvel at its non-scratched shininess. And then fall on it 26 times in a row you pantie-waste.
Wonder Boys A sentimental favorite and one that had been in the case for a couple of months because I always enjoy watching it in the winter. A great performance by Michael Douglas as an aging writer and one of Katie Holmes' last performances before she went crazy. Fortunately, you're not considered Curtis Hanson's greatest achievement so you should cost next to nothing when I repurchase you. But I hope for some reason you end up on the dash of the ass-licker who stole you from me and that ass-licker gets in a horrible car accident and you become a death object that gets lodged in his forehead.
Inland Empire A David Lynch disc, you dill-weed. One of my favorite directors, you fart-knocker. And I haven't even seen the whole damn thing but I know that it's got life-size bunnies in it and I'm only hoping that nothing terrifies you more than life-size bunnies and when you see the movie and see the life-size bunnies, you curl up in a little ball, piss your pants and go into instant shock and never recover. And if that doesn't do the trick, I'll bring my copy of Donnie Darko for you to steal as well.
Land Of The Dead Not one of Romero's best. You can have this one you shitbag.