Okay, I think I've established that I'm not a "dog person."
All that said, I don't shy away from dog movies. I liked that one with Frankie Munitz and the dog. I grew up with Benji. And I love Snoopy. So I wouldn't say that I was adverse to Marley & Me. I was actually kind of surprised that I enjoyed it a bit. But it suffers from what most dog movies suffer from. And that is a lack of reality.
The movie is filled with much Marley hi jinx. Marley shits in the ocean. He eats things he shouldn't. He destroys furniture. He jumps out the window of the car. All of this is treated like a bad sitcom mostly due to the lack of any real anger towards the dog. After each mishap, I kept on expecting the frame to freeze and type to appear that read "That's our Marley" followed with canned laughter and applause.
There is a scene where John and Jennifer Grogan (Owen Wilson and Jennifer Anniston) walk in on Marley tearing up the couch (I think for the second time) and their reaction is nothing. No yelling. No shoo-ing. No putting the dog in a small box for a couple of weeks. Nothing. What happened to rolling up a newspaper and swatting the dog on the nose? Well it's obvious that you can't make a kid's movie that involves grown-ups beating the shit out of the dog. But then again, you can't make a real one either. Tell me you wouldn't put your foot up the ass of your dog if he ate your furniture over and over again. Or at least do some yelling. Or some foot stomping. Maybe you wouldn't. And maybe that explains why I'm not a "dog person. "