Thursday, February 4, 2010

Lazy Eye Apocalypse Preparation Day 4

When faced with a looming Apocalypse, the first reaction is usually something along the lines of "Holy Fucking Shit, There's An Apocalypse Looming!" The second reaction is to think about survival. Can you survive? And what will life be like after? We're animals by nature, so it's natural to think about preserving our species. And with the Apocalypse looming and all, let's shoot for the sky and pick our ULTIMATE POST APOCALYPTIC MATE.

And remember, there's no better pick up line than "hey, there's an Apocalypse looming, so how about you and I mate and prepare for a future generation."


FOR THE MEN

Kate Beckinsale


Absolutely beautiful and your kids are guaranteed to be werewolf ass kickers, just in case there are a bunch of werewolves around after the Apocalypse.


Penelope Cruz


You'll have an "in" with Woody Allen, assuming he
survives the Apocalypse.


Helen Mirren


Proof that your children will grow old beautifully.


Anna Farris


Because your kids would be funny during scary times.


Eva Green


Because this list wouldn't be complete without a red head.



FOR THE WOMEN

George Clooney

Because we need a good leading man.


Sean Connery

See Helen Mirren.


Paul Rudd

Because your kids would just be great, everyday kids.


Brad Pitt

Because even if your kids grew bad mustaches, they would still look good.


Idris Elba

Because he's one cool mother... shut your mouth.

6 comments:

whitney said...

But Helen Mirren HAS to have gone through menopause like three times already! I would definitely go for manly men like Clooney instead of my instinctual first choice, James Franco, because in times like these my hormones will definitely kick in. Maybe not Clooney, though...definitely David Duchovny.

Actually...my cyst-filled, sand-ovulating uterus isn't going to be much help anyway...so I'm sticking with Franco.

Too much info?

corndogfuneral said...

yes whitney.
too much info.
yes.

Mike Lippert said...

I'd personally swap out Anna Farris for Anne Hathaway

PIPER said...

Whitney,

Pay no attention to corndogfuneral.

Sharing is caring.

Mike,

There was a time when I would have agreed with you. But the older Hathaway gets, the weirder looking she gets

Reel Whore said...

Anna Faris has to stay!

I'd rather trade out Eva Green for Christina Hendricks. I'd want to add Rosario Dawson and Sanaa Lathan to my save list.

All excellent choices for men. You could add in Joseph Gordon-Levitt. There's always a need for someone young, eager and virile in the mix.

You could also add in Bradley Cooper so children of the future will have smiles that glow in the dark...but maybe the Apocalyptic fallout will do that for us.

El Vox said...

Brad Pitt looks like Howard Hughes in that pic.

Penelope Cruz = what a nice pair.