Monday, February 1, 2010

Lazy Eye Apocalypse Preparation Day 1

Hey Mrs. Turner, thanks for coming over.

Of course Piper. I wouldn't miss an opportunity to be on Lazy Eye. And you can call me Kathleen.

Thanks Kathleen. So as you know, there's been some crazy shit going on in the movie
business lately.

Tell me about it.

I know, right?

I know, right?


I know.

Anyway, so I'm helping everyone prepare for the Apocalypse, because all signs seem to be pointing towards it.

Alright. So what do you need from me?

Well, I thought you were perfect to kick this month off because you've obviously been through an Apocalypse already.

How did you know?

Well, I mean... look at you. You look like you've stared death straight in the face and
death lost.

I know, right?

Yeah. Your face looks like you've toured in Nam, Dessert Storm and with the Rolling Stones for the past 50 years.

I know, right?

So the good news is that we can survive an Apocalypse.

Yes. And it turns out that now I can eat steel.

Steel. Really?

And I don't sleep anymore, yet I feel like I get 8 hours a night.

That's fantastic news. So the Apocalypse doesn't sound like such a bad thing after all.

Not at all. And the best part is, V.I. Warshawski is the only movie that didn't get destroyed. And it plays in all the theaters, nonstop.

What? No! No! It can't be!


Marilyn said...

She and Lauren Bacall are starting to look like twins.

PIPER said...

Man, you're right. I think it's the cheeks. At least Kathleen spared us from showing most of her chest. That's one racy photo.

Greg said...

Why oh why did I click on that link?

PIPER said...

Because you wanted to read brilliant writing, that's why.

Jeez Greg, why do you ask these silly questions when the answer is staring you straight in the face.

Greg said...

No, no the Lauren Bacall link left by Marilyn. You know, the one that will haunt my sleep and fill my head with ungodly nightmares for years to come. That link.

PIPER said...

Yeah, that was a big bomb Marilyn dropped right in the middle of this.

PIPER said...

I think one of Lauren Bacalls breasts just slipped out and winked at me.

whitney said...

I was all ready to click on that link and write "Hott!!" but I can't bring myself to do it...oh

Reel Whore said...

OMG Kathleen?! I bet she could use a little Peggy Sue magic right now.