Friday, December 21, 2007

The Lazy Eye Christmas Wish List

Alan at Burbanked posted a holiday wish list the other day. It reminded me that it was that time again. I posted a wish list last year and am pleased to say that one thing on it came true. Marty got his Oscar. So let's give it a shot again and see what happens.

1. I wish David Cronenberg would go back to making David Cronenberg movies again.

2. I wish Will Ferrel would stop making the same movie over and over and over.

3. I wish for all the writers on strike to get everything they deserve.

4. I wish Rob Zombie would retire.

5. I wish for Kelly Macdonald to star in many many more movies.

6. I wish Seth Rogan much happiness and prosperity.

7. I wish The Dark Knight to be as good as Batman Begins. Even better. And I wish for the upcoming Iron Man to be as good as the trailer.

8. I wish for Brian DePalma to do one more movie as good as Blow Out.

9. I wish Michael Bay would apologize for Transformers and every movie he makes from here on out.

10. And finally, I wish for Jennifer Connelly to return to Career Opportunities form. Where you been keeping those boobies at, Jenny?


Burbanked said...

I'm with you on the Will Ferrel wish, but damnit if there weren't a few moments in the Semi-Pro trailer that made me laugh. That's how he gets ya.

Did I miss the joke? Batman Forever? Not Begins? If it's the former, you're going to get this wish.

As for your Michael Bay wish, I'll gleefully and appropriately quote Bad Santa:

Wish in one hand, shit in the other. See which one fills up first.

PIPER said...

Shit. Schumacher possessed my body for a moment and made me type that. I have no idea why I did that. It has been duly noted and changed.

Burbanked said...

Much better.

And by the way, I noticed that if you scroll your page up and down really fast, JC's nipple seems to jump off the page right at you.

Anonymous said...

Jennifer Connelly looks like she is in a Schumacher Batsuit. Hubba hubba.

brian said...

I am so with you on Brian DePalma.

He made some great films in the 70s. And of course, "Blow Out," his best in 1980.

But since then, self-conscious crap.

Adam Ross said...

I think there needs to be a national effort to get Jennifer to start eating again. You could have told me it was some other actress playing her character in "Little Children" and I would have believed it.

Her talents were the highlight of a birthday party outing to see "Rocketeer," during which one of my friends swore they were getting bigger scene by scene.

Anonymous said...

Great list, although I'm still a sucker for those redundant Will Ferrell flicks.

PIPER said...

great white snark,

I hear ya. This is a guy that actually likes Kicking And Screaming, the soccer movie Ferrel was in. But if Will Ferrel is going to represent the current state of comedy, I think he needs to raise the bar a bit.

Sheamus the... said...

the only one i am wishing against is Cronieburger. I like his movies of old and new. Eastern Promises was amazing.


PIPER said...


It's not that Eastern Promises was bad, I just felt like a lot of other directors could have made that film. I can't say that of The Brood or eXistenZ or Videodrome.

Sheamus the... said...

mmmmmmmm eXistenZ...

J.D. said...

I love you, man.

Especially for #5.

TALKING MOVIEzzz said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
PIPER said...

yeah I'm on baca at my parents house. I'm typing this on my new itouch. Its only taken me 15 minutes to type this. Enjoy jennifer for the next few days

brian said...

I am a co-contributor so I will try to sub for "the pipe" while he is gone.

I am a little like those guests that Richard Roeper brings in, and then he never has them on again.