Tuesday, September 2, 2008


Lots of people like to take shots at Salma Hayek and Keanu Reeves for their acting (in)ablilities, but we here at Lazy Eye... think that is attributed more to the low self-image of the fatty fat critics.

So, today, we throw our middle fingers in the face of the establishment by celebrating the joint birthdays of Salma Hayek & Keanu Reeves. List your Top 5 favorite movies staring either/or. Here are mine:

1. Ask The Dust - People love Robert Towne for scribbling Chinatown and Shampoo, but they forget that he directed a handful of pretty nice films as well. This is one of them.

2. Fools Rush In - It was kinda neat to think someone as pretty as Salma would sleep with, er... Matthew Perry. This was Knocked Up before Knocked Up was cool.

3. Point Break - The only reason this movie isn't rated higher in film canons is because the same fatty fats that hate on Salma and Keanu are also very sexist.

4. Parenthood - Keanu is paired opposite his most unattractive love interest ever in Martha Plimpton, but he grins and bears it. Good boy.

5. From Dusk Till Dawn - Piper likes Salma's dance routine in this. He says it inches out her "awesome" scene with Antonio in Desperado, but just barely.


Nayana Anthony said...

1. Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure - Obviously.

2.Fools Rush In - It's really nice to have found another movie geek who actually enjoyed this one.

3. The Matrix - Again... it's obvious.

4. Across the Universe - Salma was a singing nurse, apparently. I had to mine IMDB for this one, as well as the next...

5. Traffic - Hayek was uncredited, as Rosario.

Megan said...

I liked the comedy duo that was Keanu and William Hurt in "I Love You to Death."

J.D. said...

For Keanu, I'd mention in his pretty decent turns in RIVER'S EDGE and MY OWN PRIVATE IDAHO. I always thought he was really good in SPEED.

For Salma, DESPERADO, hands down. She was also damn good in FRIDA.

Emily Blake said...

I LOVE Keanu in Parenthood. He's my favorite in that movie.

I wish he'd never tried to do Shakespeare, though.

J.D. said...

I love Salma's sexy nurse quintuplets in Across the Universe more than I should.

They only have two words to say!!

Piper said...


Only a couple weeks in and you can read my mind perfectly. Salma's dance in From Dusk Til Dawn is the stuff dirty vampire dreams are made of.

What, no A Walk In The Clouds?

I personally like Keanu in My Own Private Idaho. And Point Break rocks this house all the way down to the cement filled foundation.

Fox said...

Great picks everybody. I just realized that the poorly photoshopped Salma y Keanu pic I posted kinda creeps me out b/c it reminds me of the scary Richard D. James clones in the "Come To Daddy" video.

------> YIKES!

Jonathan Lapper said...

You know, I'm pretty damn handy with photoshop. You just had to ask. Anyway, here are my top five for both or separate:

1. ---
2. ---
3. ---
4. ---
5. ---

Fletch said...

As much as I love Point Break, it's hard to top the deliciousnocity of Salma in Desperado. I hate to be all "dude" here, but she really has some fantabulous breasticles (and other made up words).

Point Break at 2.
The Matrix at 3.
Bill and Ted at 4.
Frida at 5.

Wicky Wicky Wild Wild at 99.
The Matrix sequels at 8,732.

Piper said...


You slay me.

It's obvious that you suffer from Salmicism and Reevicism. And you're so damn open about it. I guess where you come from, they aren't aware that it's 2008 and that Keanu Reeves pulls down big paychecks because he made a little something called Johnny Mnemonic and that made him a big, big star.

Johnny Rico said...

I'm not very familiar with Keanu's work, but from what I've seen, the role of John Constantine suits him best.

As for Salma, let me try:
1. Frida (Her performance is beyond words.)
2. Fools Rush In (I love how you refer to it as "Knocked Up before Knocked Up was cool." Because it's true.)
3. Chain of Fools (Salma is a sexy cop who just happened to do a Playboy cover.)
4. Dogma (I wasn't a fan of the movie, but her Serendipity was gold.)
5. From Dusk Till Dawn (Yes, the dance.)

elgringo said...

Fools Rush In is completely and utterly underrated.

Annie Ha said...

ok I'm a week late on this but anyway:

Much Ado About Nothing
The Matrix
Point Break

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