Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Top 5 Tuesdays (T5T) Movies You Should Have Walked Out On

A movie can be an extremely rewarding experience. It can also be extremely torturous. When it's the latter, you have a simple choice. To sit it out and hope for the best, or to head for the doors like the place is on fire.

Upon reflection, I have lots of movie regrets. Movies that I hung with until the end, only to feel angry because I wasted that time when I could have been doing something more productive like clipping my nails or picking my nose or something.

So give me your top 5 movies that you should have walked out on but didn't.

Here are mine in no particular order.

1. Before and After Meryl Streep is quite possibly the best actress working today, but she's not without her floaters. And this is one of those. I kept hanging around thinking I would find out why she made this movie.

2. Armageddon I stuck with this movie only to see how much stupider it could get. And from that respect it didn't disappoint.

3. Match Point I am in love with Scarlett Johansson and want to "be" with her and yet this movie almost made me not love her and want to "be" with her. That's how bad this is. I miss the old Woody.

4. A History of Violence I've beat up on this movie a lot and I'm not sure I mean to, but I wanted to walk out of this. I only stayed because it was Cronenberg and my hopes were high.

5. What Women Want I'm a sucker for movies involving my profession so I was slightly intrigued by this. But the second I watched Mel Gibson wax his legs to try to get in touch with his feminine side, I was ready to bolt.


Moviezzz said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Piper said...

Bold picks Moviezzz.

I myself loved O Brother Where Art Thou. But then I couldn't get through The Big Lebowski which everyone seems to love.

Pat said...

The only movie I have ever actually walked out on was "Very Bad Things" (which I thought was appropriately titled.)

But there are others I wouldn't have minded skipping out on, including "Match Point."

And, Piper, you are not alone. I've never gotten the appeal of "Big Lebowski."

J.D. said...

SUPERBAD. I just found the film badly written and offensive... and not in a good way. I am constantly baffled by the unending praise for this one. Did I miss something? The trailers promised so much and the actual film delivered so little. And I never wanted to punch Jonah Hill in the head so much until watching him in this film.

Fox said...

First of all, I would like to say I have never walked out of a movie. I'm very proud of that.

But here are some where I leapt from my seat as soon as the first end credit hit.

Bowling For Columbine
Fahrenheit 9/11
Capturing The Friedmans
Hard Candy
The Hills Have Eyes 2
Before The Devil Knows You're Dead
Halloween (2007)
Me And You And Everyone We Know
Marie Antoinette
Running With Scissors

.... oops, you said FIVE, didn't you? My bad!

Piper said...

Damn Fox,

Me and You and Everyone We Know?
Hard Candy?

Still haven't seen Borat, but that seems like a surprise.

I honestly have only walked out of about two movies. I'm a big theater nut, so sometimes that's almost as much a draw as the movie. The fact that I walked out of the Alamo Draft House in Austin is a testament to how shitty Be Kind/Rewind was.

Piper said...


I never got through all of Very Bad Things. Just too much darkness. I really never found any humor in it at all. Peter Berg is a pretty dark man.

Fox said...

Hey... Austin is where I live, and the Drafthouse is one of my haunts. In fact, I'm gonna be there for an entire week starting Thursday b/c there is a festival going on.

Piper said...

No shit? I love Austin. Come there for business a couple times a year.

Erik Hokanen plays at Flipnotics every Tuesday night. That guy is the best.

You familiar with the music house Tequila Mockingbird? Right next to The Clay Pit.

Marilyn said...

I walk out on movies all the time if they look like they're going to waste my precious time. Plays, too.

Among my walkouts are Close Encounters of the Third Kind, The Verdict, The Blair Witch Project, and The Duchess of Langelois.

I also walked out a theatrical production of Hamlet, staged by Robert Falls and starring Aidan Quinn.

Fox said...

Oh yeah... well, not Tequila Mockingbird, but Clay Pit mos def. We don't go anymore though b/c my wife complains that the Indian food isn't "authentic" enough (sigh... that's Austinites for you!).

There's another Flipnotics now too. The new one is more BoBo and not as BoHo as the original.

And - as you probably know - we still have the most attractive people on Earth here.

I'm sure all of the Lazy Eye readers are THRILLED by this inside conversation we are having... in fact, I bet they have "Walked Out" on it! HAHAHAHA! Get it???

Fox said...

Um... Marilyn? You aren't telling the full story. Yes folks, the lovely Mrs. Ferdinand doesn't just "walk out" on movies when she's irritated, she FULL ON PUNCHES audience members too!

And you probably think I'm joking, right? Fine, fine... you'll see one day.

Marilyn said...

Fox - You should not have given all this restaurant information out. One day, you're going to be sitting down to a nice meal, and, well, my apologies to your wife in advance.

Anil Usumezbas said...

Heh, you and your hatred towards 'A History of Violence', Piper. Both that and Match Point are great films in my opinion but needless to say, to each his own.

Here are mine, also in no particular order.

1. xXx
2. The Sum of All Fears
3. Miami Vice
4. Johnny English
5. Black Hawk Down

Piper said...

Fox and Marilyn,

I've got a fire hose and I'll use the sumbitch if things get hairy.


I'm so mean to History that I'm even beginning to tell myself to chill-out and quit smacking History around so much because it already has to wear sunglasses to cover both the black eyes. But at the time that I saw it, I wanted to walk out.

Fletch said...

I've only walked out on one movie ever (Strange Wilderness, an abortion of a movie), though I'm sure I should have walked out on plenty more.

The leader in the clubhouse: The Big Hit

Other crapsters:

Epic Movie
Spider-Man 3
the POTC sequels
the Matrix sequels

So, uh, Fox - why do you go see Michael Moore movies in the first place?

elgringo said...

I gotta disagree, I enjoyed Match Point, loved History of Violence, and will watch What Women Want whenever it's on TV (at least until the next commercial break).

Anonymous said...

Boxing Helena was the worst film ever made. Apparently, Kim Basinger was sued because she ditched the film. Whatever she paid to get out of that was worth it. If ever there were no point to a film, this one wins hands down.

I did walk out on The Exorcist but that's more of a compliment. I saw it when it came out. Everything started spinning and I felt ill.

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