Saturday, June 30, 2007

What Am I To Make Of This?

Hayden Panettiere has yet to turn 18 years of age, yet here she is on the cover of my most recent 'Entertainment Weekly', in mid jump, in a cheerleading outfit.

I cannot lust after her because she is not legal, yet here she is staring at me in her cheerleading outfit.

The words "EW 100" are on her chest begging me to read them.

Begging me.

And I have read them.

I have read them several times.

Countless times.

So many times.

Where am I?

Shame on you 'Entertainment Weekly'. You have made me feel very dirty.


Ross Ruediger said...

This was a great post. It's why I come here.

Best part? You actually created a "Hayden Panettiere" label.

(Is it at all possible for ~anyone~ to have a sexier name?[1])

[1]I don't even watch the show[2].

[2]And thanks to your pictorial, I don't have to[3].

[3]I sense a not-so lazy eye running the show today.

Damian said...

BTW How's your wife? ;)

Piper said...


I too have never seen the show. Hayden is the annoying little daughter of the white coach in Remember The Titans. The one that was so into football. Man, how she has blossomed.


Thanks for reminding me. I love my wife very much.

J.D. said...


* (asterisk) said...

I love Heroes, and this girl is cute enough. But she is half my age... not even. You are very dirty, Piper. But EW is evil for making you so.

* (asterisk) said...

Also, I should have mentioned that in the UK she is "legal".

Jeremy Fuksa: Creative Generalist said...

This is roughly equal to a comment that my brother-in-law and I made regarding one of the neighborhood girls at last night's July 4 festivities. The general girl consensus was that we were dirty old men. I say, meh.

Matt said...

Hayden Panettiere may be underaged, but she jumps like a sexually mature woman.

And on the bright side, ogling her is only wrong for like another month.

Piper said...

You are right Matt.

She jumps like a 23 year-old woman. That makes me feel a lot better.