Thursday, June 19, 2008

What Will Be Said Before Every M. Night Shyamalan Movie From Now On

From M. Night Shyamalan

The Director Who Showed Promise With

The Sixth Sense
and Unbreakable,

But Now Has Squandered That Promise

And Become A Bloated, Disconnected,

Egotistical Asshole

Who Has Written and Directed Shit Like

The Village
, Lady In The Water

And Now The Happening

Presents The Following Motion Picture

That Will Star Him In The Most Pivotal Role

And That Will Come Off Unintentionally Funny

Because Of Its Self-Importance

Next Stop, Bollywood


Evan Derrick said...

Hmmmm....I sense....anger.

Piper said...


I'm officially done beating up on this guy.

Adam Ross said...

I can see a future where we see "M. Night Shyamalan presents" on direct-to-DVD movies, kind of like what Wes Craven does now.


I actually laughed out loud reading this, and I don't do that often.

Like I've said before, he's as cocky as Hitchcock, but he isn't 1/10th as good.

Burbanked said...

I need some spoiling, haters, because there's no way I'm going to go spend money on this crap.

So does M. Night cameo in the movie? And if so, what Significant Supporting Role does he give himself?

Shea said...

He is barely in the Happening...i think he is just a voice on the phone.

Other than Lady in the water I've liked all his movies.

He is an amazing visual director, with an interesting perspective, and a unique style.

I think Avatar will be his make or break film. It's the first film that is truly out of his element. If he fails here then maybe I will judge with you guys. But for now there is still a glimmer of hope...for me anyway.

Why don't you mention Signs anywhere?

Piper said...


He was one of the main characters in Lady In The Water.

Was the first human outside of the "compound" in The Village.

Was the guy who killed Gibson's wife in Signs.

And as Shea said in The Happening


I think that M. Night can dream big and has some interesting thoughts, but he needs someone else more skilled to bring that to script form. He doesn't show the discipline needed to do that properly.

Signs is a bit heavy-handed but I don't believe it represents his worst. And to me, for the most part, it's entertaining.

SamuraiFrog said...

You should be done beating up on the guy; this post says it all so perfectly there's no need for any more.

Nicely done, sir.

The Critical Critic said...

I'll have to agree, he's certainly pissed away all his accolades since The Sixth Sense.

Anonymous said...

Great idea for the post, pipe.

Piper said...

That was me and you Brian.

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