Tuesday, May 22, 2007

No Imagination Whatsoever

The wife and I had some friends over this weekend and as we were talking, we somehow got on to female celebrities revealing themselves. And I said that I was angry because these women leave nothing to the imagination. It seems that every week I can readily see Lindsay Lohan's coochie winking at me. Or Paris Hilton's. Or Britney Spears'. And then it made me mad that I was making this argument. What the hell was wrong with me? I should be welcoming public nudity from all the hotties. I should be shouting "show me your boobies and woobies" from the mountaintops (I have children so you understand my colorful vocabulary).

Just like a good movie that leaves a little something to the imagination, stars should too. And a lot of the times, they're doing us a favor by covering up. I imagined Janet Jackson having much more beautiful breasts from the picture above then she actually does, as revealed in the picture below.



And I would much rather look at this picture of Lindsay Lohan where I think she is just beautiful rather than the picture below. It's not like I don't think about this stuff, but the fun is in the thinking, not the showing.

I miss the days when I lusted after Madonna and all I had was Desperately Seeking Susan to fulfill my fantasies rather than the book Sex which left nothing and I mean nothing to the imagination. Or the poster of Farrah Fawcett that I used to have because I was young and I think it was illegal for you to be a boy and not to have a poster of Farrah up somewhere. Little skin but sexy as hell.


Word to female movie stars. Keep the privates a little less public and leave something to the imagination because in my mind, you are all 10s. So don't ruin it.

Thanks to Electronic Cerebrectomy for the inspiration for this post who recently posted this about Mischa Barton's "accidental" breast slip. And as it turns out those boys are just as gorgeous as I had imagined. Congrats Mischa.

6 comments:

pacheco said...

"And as it turns out those boys are just as gorgeous as I had imagined."

Whoa, so breasts/nipples are boys?! Does that make me a homosexual?

I'm so confused....

Piper said...

Come on. Blazing Saddles?

Work, work, work, work, work. Hello Boys how was your night. I missed you.

Mel Brooks to his busty assistant.

pacheco said...

You're gonna hate me, but I really didn't like Blazing Saddles at all. I will say, though, that I saw it some years ago, and in my short lifetime, those precious years make a difference. So perhaps I need to see it again. Then again, I'm one of the few people I know who hated Spaceballs (and still do). I think Brooks is hit-or-miss, but I suppose that's a topic for another day.

Piper said...

Pacheco,

I'm cool with you not liking Blazing Saddles, but I refuse to let you put Spaceballs in the same category with it.

Spaceballs blows.

Ross Ruediger said...

That bikini shot's my favorite pic ever of Miss Lohan. It makes up for a lot of other things.

Piper said...

Yeah, it pains me to see that and see how beautiful she is. Then see a candid shot of her in a bagging something or other with big glasses looking like she just got out of a trash can.