I walked out on that piece of @#$%
I love movies a lot. And for that reason, it is very hard for me to walk out on a film. Even if it's terrible, I still try to look for some shred of decency.
But sometimes those shreds are not there even if you try really hard to look for them. And that's when you walk out on that turd.
I haven't done it much. I have wanted to do it more, but I guess I haven't had the nerve. Or I haven't had anything else better to do.
The first movie I walked out on was Jerry Lewis' The Nutty Professor. I was young, I wasn't liking the movie and I think I wanted to play video games instead.
The only other movie I have walked out on was The Matrix Revolutions. It was towards the end of the movie, I had a phone call I had to take and when the phone call was over, I had no desire to walk back in the movie theatre.
I wanted to walk out of Something To Talk About with Julia Roberts but my wife wouldn't let me. I also wanted to walk out on Before and After. I remember it being terrible and quite possibly the worst movie Meryl Streep has ever been in.
I was very disappointed with A History Of Violence. I found it to be horribly written and horribly acted. I also wanted to walk out on School Of Rock because I was expecting a Jack Black role along the lines of High Fidelity but instead I got a family feel-good movie.
I know, not a terribly impressive list. I know you've got better. So give it up.
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12 comments:
Had I not fallen asleep first, I definitely would have walked out on "Memphis Belle".
Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason. This has to be one of the worst movies ever made. See the Thai prison scene if you don't believe me.
The Cell. My wife wanted to leave. She thought the movie was satanic.
The Accidental Tourist and Saturday Night Lights. The A.T. was offered as a bonus in conjunction with a pre-release screening of Ferris Bueller, luckily Ferris was first. Friday Night Lights was just a boring, cliched, over-hyped crap stain. Like I want to see 16 year olds getting it on and poking more steroid needles in their body.
Haven't seen the Accidental Tourist under advisement of several people. Friday Night Lights didn't bug me as much. I actually kinda liked it.
My daughter (6 at the time) walked out on "Benji: Off The Leash". I was so proud. I didn't know until recently that you COULD walk out of movies. I usually look for some redeeming quality in them all. "Rent" was a battle of attrition to see who would blink first - me, my wife, or my mother-in-law. Wife knew after 1 minute that we were doomed. Mother-in-law was looking for dropped popcorn. I was hoping to see a boob.
The promise of skin always keeps me in my seat.
The movie I most wanted to walk out on was "Batman and Robin." Unfortunately I was there with a group of people and even though I sensed that there was something very, very wrong with the movie within the first five minutes, I still wasted two hours of my life on it.
The only movies I've ever actually walked out on were a crappy, foreign sci-fi film, the name of which I've now forgotten. In that case, we immediately realized our mistake and asked the box office to exchange our ticket. In 1981, I also walked out of a showing of "Venom" and caught most of "Raiders of the Lost Ark" instead (even though I'd already seen it several times).
The fact that Joel Schumacher is still a filmmaker is amazing after Batman and Robin.
The good news however is... if he hadn't killed that franchise we probably wouldn't have ever have gotten Batman Begins which is better than any of the original.
Last Man Standing with Bruce Willis. It was so terrible that my friends and I asked for our money back, and the theater manager agreed, and gave each of us 2 free passes each after this exchange...
Theater Manager: 'Listen guys, this is like going to a Royals game, you can't ask for your money back if they lose'
Us: 'No, it's not like a Royals game, when you go to a Royals game, you expect to see a game of baseball... this was pure crap, and the audience booed the movie the whole time'
TM: 'Well, I'm not going to give you your money back, but I will give you free tickets to come see another movie'
Us: 'Thanks, it warms our hearts knowing that you stand by a quality product'
TM: 'Please, just don't tell anyone else this movie sucks until it's out of the theaters'
Oh and on tails of the opening of the new film Smoking Aces starring Jeremy Piven, I would have to add Very Bad Things to the list of @#$% movies. You have to agree (finally I think we can on this one) that we'd have walked out on that festering turd if hadn't been showing on the vcr in the house. I'd have almost preferred we stayed at the reunion. I hope this one goes better for Piven as he is one of my favorites.
I'm usually a pretty big fan of dark. But Very Bad Things was black as pitch. I remember turning it off after Stern was trying to run people over with his mini-van.
I walked out of Down to Earth, that Chris Rock movie that wasn't funny, it was insulting. I also wanted to walk out of Trial and Error, but didn't. I don't watch a lot of comedies in the theater now.
I didn't walk out of, but fell asleep during Steamboy, which I thought was terrible, because I was watching the movie that played after.
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