A Letter To Them Horror Picture Makers

Hey! This is Big Billy Hill and I wanna tell you fellers in your big buildings up in Hollywood a little something. Lay off us inbreds. Quit making us out to be some kind of monsters in yer horror movies. We’re normal people just like you rich folk up in your big buildings. Maybe if you actually came through one of our one dirt road towns and sat down to a nice meal of horse and whatnot you might actually learn us a little more. You’ll find out that just because I been layin down with my sister every evening since I were 12 that doesn’t make me a bad person. Here, my sister has something she wants to say.

Hey! This is Dannielynn, the wife and sister of Big Billy. Not only do I sleep with my brother, but I was born from my Momma who was also the sister to my Daddy and aside from that thing I got commin out my back there ain’t nothin wrong with me. And here’s another thing you big city dummies need to know. We ain’t eatin’ eachother. I don’t know what word they use for that eatin humans thing, but that aint us. All while we on the subject we ain't mutants neither. None of us got weird looks sept for that thing coming out my back and Burnell got them eyes too close together and Peanut got that nub with them fingers on her shoulder and then there Cephus with his left leg that's coming out his side, but hell all that ain't nothin. Just because were inbred, that don’t mean were mutant people who eat other people. So put down yer pencils and stop writin them lies bout us. Here, my son got somethin to say to you.

Hey! This Burnell. I’m the son of Ma and Pa who sister and bruther and I ain’t dum an I only eat critters, but na human critters. Ma school me at home. My eyes to close tugether. Keep me out a yer movies or I punch you. I taint no freek. Hers my daughter Peanut who also my wife. She sayin' sumthin.

Hay! Snuff dem lurdy nub cuz ma stem luk ho shulder dem hank yuse wit fangers fuk cuz slank dof.

Sincerely,

The Buster Hill Clan