Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Top 5 Tuesdays (T5T) Rejected Masks

If you're a killer in a horror movie, picking a mask is critical to your box office success. And on the surface, mask choosing may seem completely random but in reality the selection process is an arduous task - going through several selection committees and hours and hours of focus group testing. Which of course means that there have been several masks left on the shelf, never to be worn. So for your viewing enjoyment, I have selected my Top 5 favorite rejected masks. In no particular order.




The SARS Sheep Mask
At first it might seem ingenious: "Hey, I'll distract them with this cute sheep and then rip their guts out." But functionally, it's mess. Have you ever tried to keep one of those things tied? The killer would always be having to take a "time-out" to re-tie his or her mask. Too much trouble. Plus, it's kind of dated. SARS just isn't the scare it once was.



The Sleeping Mask
This one didn't make it deep into testing for obvious reasons.



The Beauty Mask
Kind of scary in a "honey, is that you?" kind of way. The real benefit of this mask is that despite that the killer is probably an undead rotting corpse, his or her skin will maintain its youthful glow.


The Hello Kitty Mask
I have to admit that I'm a bit surprised this one didn't go deep in the mask selection process. The irony associated with it is just too good. The killer could ask the victim to come and pet the kitty and then when they get close, he or she kills them.



The Choegwari Buddist Monk Mask
Not necessarily a bad mask, but it's far too expensive to maintain. This thing is some sort of artifact. The costs associated with making sure that the wood doesn't rot and the paint doesn't chip would be too much. In close combat, the killer would be too worried about hurting the mask and not worried enough about hurting the victim.

9 comments:

Megan said...

I dunno, that first one creeps me out. A lot.

Fox said...

What about this mask?

... please don't make me go to hell! ...

EVIL CLOWN said...

I think it's interesting that you both posted comments at the same time. I can only imagine you both sitting side by side in a loveseat with your laptops.

Fox,

You get hot blind chicks with that mask.

JOSEPH CAMPANELLA said...

I think George Lucas used the Choegwari Buddist Monk Mask in EPISODE ONE?

But you're right. Maul wasn't the scariest thing about that picture!

HOW W'RUDE!

Dave Ehrlich said...

"The Sleeping Mask" looks like something Bootsy Collins would go for.

EVIL CLOWN said...

Joseph,

The only thing that kind of creeps me out about the Choegwari mask is that damn lock of hair. What is it? Where did it come from? Hair can be very terrifying.

Dave,

You're right. But no stars. If there were stars, Bootsy would be wearing that mask right now.

Ray said...

Hello Kitty is the Devil.

JOSEPH CAMPANELLA said...

It's his Padawan hair braid. Just like Obi-Wan!


...dear God I'm lame.

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