So Zelda, thanks for stopping by.
What seems to be the problem?
Um.... shouldn't you know already? You're supposed to be clairvoyant or something, right?
I do know. I was just testing you.
Oh, right. Man, you're good.
You have my money?
Sure, right here. I have to say it wasn't easy tracking down this much cash.
Okay. This house is clean.
It is?
Yes. This house is clean.
Shouldn't you say something about "children" and "crossing over to the light?"
This house is clean.
Yeah, you've said that a couple times now.
Why are you questioning Zelda?
I don't mean to. It just seems like well, you didn't do anything.
I did. And this house is clean.
See, here's my problem. You said that to that one family and everything seemed alright for a bit and then all hell broke loose.
This house is clean.
Okay, here's the thing. You've got a shit load of my money and I don't really feel like you did anything. There, I said it. No disrespect. I just kind of feel scammed here.
Show Zelda the door. Her work here is done.
Look. I'm an Evil Clown. I'm scary and shit. Best not to mess with me little woman.
Cross over children. Go into the light. Go into the light. There. Feel better?
See, that wasn't so hard was it?
Now show me the door.
You got it. Thanks for making the trip.
Sucker.
What was that?
What?
Who?
Huh?
Did you call me sucker?
Of course not.
It's just that... oh hell, there's the door.
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3 comments:
She scammed me once too. Said she was a pool cleaner and gave me the whole "this pool is clean" routine. Next morning I wake up early for a morning swim and the whole damn thing is packed end to end with corpses.
I just looked up to the sky, William Shatner like, and yelled, after the requisite Shatner face twitching, "ZELLLLLDDDDAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!"
Somewhere in the distance, I could swear I heard her laughing.
I should know better. I went to her for drug rehab and she told me that I was clean. But then the second she left, I hit the crack pipe again.
Son of a...
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